Smoke
by alwaysbringback-up
Summary: Olivia and Elliot go above and beyond the call of duty for a case. Olivia escapes a close call only to find out that someone else is more bothered by her lack of safety than she is. Will be Alex/Olivia! Don't like don't read!
1. Flames

_**Disclaimer: This is a new story that I've been working on for a while.**_ **I would like to be forthcoming that this is a F/F story. It's going to Alex/Olivia. If you don't care to be open minded in regards to this pairing then please don't read!_ I plan for this to be a short story. _****_I've rated it M as a precaution. If there are any chapters in which there is sexual content, I promise I will give you a warning beforehand._**

**Title: Smoke**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

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"The jury didn't convict him," Alex nearly yelled, "And now he's back out on the street! I want to know why this happened? Why was I blindsided like this?" Olivia opened her mouth to speak in reply, but nothing came out. She knew it was killing Alex. They had all fought so hard from the beginning and Alex was no different. She had put a lot of preparations into this case and the trial, and now it was all for nothing. They had all been so sure that the case was in the bag. That is, until their star witness turned on them in the middle of court, and somehow convinced the jury not to convict Douglas of the rape he committed. What was worse was that they had no concrete proof to have his testimony thrown out. They also had no explanation as to why he so suddenly turned on them. It occurred to Olivia now, that there must be a connection between the witness and Mr. Douglas. Perhaps, the two of them were actually working together. But still, they were in deep trouble and needed to fix it fast. They all had to face it. At this point, they were utterly and unequivocally screwed.

And so there she was, gathered in the squad room with Fin, Munch, Elliot, and Cragen, trying to stay close together as to not get picked off one by one. There was safety in numbers. Although, that didn't really apply so much when it came to Alex. Alex was yelling as she threw the case file at Elliot. It took all of Olivia's self control not to go running when Alex stared her in the eyes. Those beautiful crystalline blue eyes could strike fear into anyone when Alex was angry.

"How could this have happened?" Alex shouted again. Olivia felt a shiver work its way up her spine with the tone in which it was spoken. Once again, Olivia felt Alex's eyes glaring holes into her. "This is your fault," she breathed, "You missed something! You and Elliot should have known he was unreliable. You missed something."

"Oh, so now it's all our fault?" Elliot yelled back. "You're the one who prepped him for court, Alex. If we missed something then you missed something too!"

"I obviously made a mistake trusting you to come up with the right witness to put Douglas away," Alex vented, pacing back and forth.

Olivia found herself interjecting, trying to be the voice of reason. "Enough!" she spoke harshly. "Look," she directed herself at Alex, "Not that I don't enjoy being your punching bag, Alex, but there's more important stuff to do." She took a deep calming breath, "I mean obviously we did miss something. Nelson _has_ to have some connection to Douglas, and frankly, we're not going to get anywhere through pointing fingers." Everyone was completely silent, and Olivia was surprised they were listening to her so completely. "The fact is, Douglas is back on the streets. If we want to keep this from getting out of control, need to move fast."

"Thank you, Olivia," Cragen smiled, gratefully.

Alex suddenly looked apprehensive. And Olivia could see the fatigue in Alex's usually soft porcelain features as the blonde let out a weary sigh. Alex moved close to Olivia and held Olivia's chocolate brown eyes for a moment before apologizing. "I'm sorry, guys." She apologized sincerely. "You have to understand. There's a lot of pressure coming down on me from the top. The D.A.'s office is pissed that Douglas isn't in chains."

"It's okay," Olivia was the first to reply, reaching out and giving Alex's hands a squeeze. "We'll get this figured out. If there is a connection between Brandon Nelson and Peter Douglas then we'll find it."

"Okay," Cragen repeated, "So we need to find a connection between Douglas and Nelson as soon as possible." He turned to Fin and Munch. "Our first course of action should be to look at Nelson's financials." He turned to Alex. "Is there any way that you'll be able to get a warrant for them?"

"I'll check," Alex replied coolly, "Believe me when I say that the D.A.'s office wants someone to pay for the crime badly. I think they'll help us out." Alex looked at her watch. "I guess I'll be calling in another favor," Alex joked, although it was done morosely. "I'll let you know as soon as I get it." With that, Alex flipped open her phone, dialed, and waited for the third party to answer.

"Thank you, Alex," Cragen said graciously as the blonde picked up her attaché and gave them all one last look before departing. Olivia noticed how Alex's eyes lingered on her for a long moment, although the blonde's attention was diverted when the person on the other line picked up. She nodded at Cragen and then started walking. Olivia closed her eyes and tried to rub the sleep from them as she listened to Alex's heels click off into the night.

"Okay, so you two," Cragen indicated Fin and Munch, "I want you to go over everything we've got so far. Pay special attention to crime scene photos and Douglas' financials. I have a feeling that Nelson might have been an accomplice. See if you can get any supporting evidence as such. I'll be happy if you can find me anything out of the ordinary." He paused, looking at his watch, "And as soon as I get word from Cabot, I'll forward you Nelson's financials. I want you to try and find a way to connect him to Douglas. If he got paid off somehow, I want to know about it." He turned to Elliot and Olivia, "You two need to go and sit on Nelson. If he so much as moves an inch, I want to know about it. I don't trust him, and if he was working with Douglas, I expect that he's going to try and get out of dodge." Olivia and Elliot nodded, grabbing their coats. Olivia stole one last look at her boss before leaving. These were the days that she didn't envy his position in the least. She knew it was eating them all alive, and Cragen, although he had seen his fair share of stress, still can only handle so much.

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	2. Through the Fire and Flames

**_Title: Smoke_**

**_Chapter: Through the Fire and Flames_**

**_Fandom: L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Rating: M (for mature adults)_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

**_A/N: Not much to say. Thought I'd post the next update right away since it's done. I have another chapter to post after this. I'll have it up in a few minutes. I also plan on posting an update for my other story (Gifts and Curses) up sometime tonight or tomorrow._**

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When they got within a couple of blocks of Nelson's residence, Olivia knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. An eerie orange glow was being cast out into the night. Flames licked and scoured the upper half of Nelson's apartment building. Elliot's brow furrowed with worry as he sped up to a stop. The brakes squeaked and protested as the unmarked patrol vehicle skidded to a stop.

Olivia was out of the car before it was completely stopped, and Elliot was only a second behind her. She ran up to the small crowd gathered on the street.

"I'm with the NYPD," Olivia spoke in a rush, "Is everyone okay?" They all nodded. Then she asked, "Is everyone out?" Her voice carried great authority as she spoke. Her voice did not betray her concern or her fear.

"No one answered apartment 3 F," the super informed her, causing her stomach to fall out the bottom of her feet. "I don't see Tracy or the girls anywhere."

"Are you sure?" Olivia swallowed, watching as the flames grew. She could hear sirens growing closer. Olivia had a bad feeling. She knew who Tracy was. She was Nelson's wife. Suddenly Olivia realized that it might be intentional. That it could be arson." Olivia's thoughts began to race around in her head as she realized it was the perfect way to cover up a crime. Olivia swore under her breath as she tried to make a decision. Finally, her heart made it for her. "I'm going in," she told her, "Keep them as far away from the building as you can." The crowd merely stared after her as she ran for the front door.

She was about to run into the building when Elliot grabbed her by the arm.

"Wait," he said simply. Olivia looked at him, gauging his thoughts. "What are you doing?" He voice was even but his eyes showed his fear. "We need to wait for the fire department."

"We don't have time to wait, Elliot," Olivia stammered. "Tracy and her kids are still in there."

"If that's the case then they're probably already dead," Elliot replied quickly, his thoughts and feelings conflicting. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew how risky it was.

"Please." The single word carried enough weight with it to push Elliot over the edge. It wasn't that they didn't have an extensive amount of courage. Anyone who knows anything about cops, knows that it takes a lot of courage to be a cop. But it takes a different kind of courage to run into a burning building without facemasks or protective gear. Elliot and Olivia looked at each other for a long moment as they searched for something in each other's eyes. Finally, Elliot saw what he was looking for.

"Let's go," Elliot said, urging him forwards, "But stay behind me. We have to move fast." Olivia swallowed over the sandpaper in her throat as they rushed into the lobby, and made their way to the stairs. She could feel the heat scorching her skin, and felt the sweat begin to pool on her forehead and palms. Her lungs began to protest from the volume of smoke in the air, but she continued to push herself forwards. She crouched low to the ground, pulling her shirt up and over her nose and mouth as she rushed up the stairs. She counted one, two, then three flights of stairs before she burst out onto the third floor. Her lungs burned and she hacked and coughed, seemingly never getting the offending smoke from her chest. The building was already weakening, and from the way hungry flames were ravaging their surrounding, Olivia knew that they were in serious danger. Still, she couldn't bring herself to turn back now. Elliot looked back at her, hesitating for a moment before he crouched down and ran for the door of Apartment F. With a solidly aimed kick the already weakened doorframe burst inwards, to show the inside. Olivia gasped at the serious amount of damage inside. There was nothing left of the kitchen and flames licked the walls, devouring every last patch of flammable materials.

"NYPD!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, tears streaming from her burning eyes, "Is anyone in here? Tracy?" She yelled the first name of the wife. Elliot's eyes went wide when someone screamed. She followed Elliot forwards into the bedroom. It was then that her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

Tracy lay on the floor in a pool of blood. It was clear that she had been shot in the back of the head, and her eyes remained open to ceiling. Olivia's attention to the woman was diverted however when she saw the two children chained the radiator. The girls screamed as they saw them and Olivia quickly pulled her badge and rushed forwards. In her best voice she tried to reassure them that she was a cop and that she was here to help.

Meanwhile, Elliot was kneeling over their mother, checking for life. Olivia looked back to him with a questioning expression. A shake of his head confirmed that Tracy was dead. Olivia's anger and hatred for Brandon Nelson grew threefold, and she knew now, without a doubt, that he was the killer. Elliot closed Tracy's eyes and covered the body, as to not traumatize the children anymore.

Olivia forced her attention on the girls, addressing the older one.

"I'm Olivia," she spoke softly. "What's your name?"

"Christine," the girl answered between coughs.

"Christine," Olivia repeated quickly, "My partner and I are going to get you out of here." Then she asked. "Can you tell me? Is there anyone else here?" Olivia nearly whispered, holding Christine's soft blue eyes.

"My sister," Cristine replied, her body shaking, "Dad…he beat her. Said that she needed to be punished."

"Where's your sister?" Olivia inquired, "Do you know?" The girl sobbed, mentioning something about her sister in the other bedroom. Olivia looked to Elliot, trying to decide what to do.

"Go," he urged her, "I'll get them free. You go get the other girl." Olivia's heart was pounding painfully in her chest. He quickly pulled out his handcuff key and began trying to uncuff the girls from the radiator, but swore when his key didn't work.

Olivia whipped around. Her voice betraying her fear and panic. "You've got to be kidding me. They don't work?"

"No," Elliot swallowed, "They have specialized locks on them. If we want to get them out of here, we're going to have to pull it out of the wall." Olivia looked at Elliot like he was crazy. Even with an adrenaline rush, she wasn't sure that the two of them carried enough strength to pull the radiator out from the wall. Olivia quickly rushed out of the room, trying to find something to provide leverage, and give her the ability she needed. Finally, she found a crowbar in the closet. Elliot looked slightly relieved as she rushed back into the room, with the object in her hand.

"Okay," Olivia spoke, "Elliot and I are going to try and get you free, but we need you to do us a favor. Cover your heads, okay?" The older girl, Christine nodded, and Elisa copied her sister's actions. Olivia and Elliot both pulled at the same time. With all of their brute strength, it hardly budged. Olivia in a fit of frustration kicked the thing and let out a scream. She took a deep breath and they went at it again. All the while, they could feel the heat, and taste the acrid smoke in their mouths. They went for it again and had better luck. This time, the radiator moved, but not enough to be pulled out completely. Olivia took one final deep breath, putting everything she had into her arms. With a groan, the radiator came free and she stumbled backwards. Elliot let out a sigh of relief as he freed the other end of the handcuffs through the bar. In the meantime, Olivia slid off her jacket, with a pang of regret, Olivia pulled off her shirt and ripped the fabric in half. She rushed over to the girls and tied the fabric over their nose and mouth, to keep most of the smoke out of their airways. However, this now meant that Olivia had nothing to put over her mouth.

"Get them out of here," Olivia told her partner, as she started from the room. There was still the other girl to save and she wasn't going anywhere without her.

"No," Eliot protested, "Olivia, we've already wasted too much time! We have to go! Now!"

"I'm not leaving without Alexa," Olivia yelled, "I'll be right behind you, El." Olivia's eyes tried to convey her own stubbornness. "Now go!" Elliot stole one last look in Olivia's eyes, knowing that if he waited any longer, their sacrifice would be in vain. As quickly as he could, he led the kids across the apartment. They kept screaming for their sister and their mother as Elliot led them away.

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**_Review if you'd like more!_**


	3. Fire and Rain

**_Title: Smoke_**

**_Chapter: Fire and Rain_**

**_Fandom: L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Rating: M (for mature adults)_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

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_"Get them out of here," Olivia told her partner, as she started from the room. There was still the other girl to save and she wasn't going anywhere without her._

_"No," Eliot protested, "Olivia, we've already wasted too much time! We have to go! Now!"_

_"I'm not leaving without Alexa," Olivia yelled, "I'll be right behind you, El." Olivia's eyes tried to convey her own stubbornness. "Now go!" Elliot stole one last look in Olivia's eyes, knowing that if he waited any longer, their sacrifice would be in vain. As quickly as he could, he led the kids across the apartment. They kept screaming for their sister and their mother as Elliot led them away._

Olivia rushed into the other bedroom. She screamed Alexa's name and got a weak response from the closet. Olivia tried the handle to find that it was locked. With another ragged breath, she tried to collect herself. She was coughing, and her lungs felt like they were on fire. She couldn't breath, and felt like she had exhausted all of her strength. Her head spun from lack of oxygen, but she wasn't going to let herself give up…because then Nelson would win. She couldn't let him do that.

"Alexa, I need you to stay out of the way of the door!" Olivia yelled, "I have to kick the door in." She heard Alexa scream what she could only assume was compliance. With her eyes closed, Olivia threw herself at the door. The wood splintered apart and the door was thrown off its hinges. Olivia winced as the pain shot into her shoulder, but she ignored it. Alexa was in bad shape. Nelson had taken care to beat her excessively before locking her in the closet. Olivia's heart clenched painfully as she scooped Alexa up in her arms.

"It's okay," she breathed, "I'm Detective Olivia Benson with the NYPD."

"I remember you," Alexa spoke in a haze.

"I'm going to get you out of here, sweetie," Olivia coughed as she made her way for the door. Everything inside was charred a deep black and she wondered how on earth the two rooms had been spared. Olivia would have gone for the fire escape, but a wall of flames making its way across the apartment blocked it. Olivia swore under her breath as Alexa started crying. Silent tears worked their way down Alexa's cheeks. Olivia closed her eyes and squeezed them shut as she tried to think of what to do. She knew that her decision could mean life or death for the both of them. She relied on instinct and bolted for the door into the hallway.

Outside of the apartment, things were just as big of a mess. Olivia moved quickly down the hallway, not trusting anywhere she stepped. She could hear as the building groaned under the stress of its burning rafters and beams. She refused to slow down, knowing that it was a matter of seconds. She threw open the emergency exit door, and staggered into the stairwell. She began to rush down the steps.

At the bottom of the stairwell, Elliot burst into the lobby, two girls gathered in his arms. He froze as he saw the firemen rushing towards him. They quickly extracted the girls, who were on the brink of consciousness, and rushed them out the front door. Elliot turned towards their leader, with a fearful expression as the man tried to pull Elliot towards the doorway. Elliot fought the man with all of his strength, and then spoke between ragged breaths.

"I'm with the NYPD. My partner's still in there," Elliot croaked, his voice sounding nothing like his own.

"We'll get him," the masked man replied, "You need to get out of here. This buildings going to cave at any moment." Elliot could only stand there, staring as the firemen rushed up the stairwell. "She's on the third floor," Elliot yelled after them before they disappeared. He felt about ready to collapse, as he crawled for the front door. He heard mild explosions above him as windows burst open and fresh oxygen was introduced to the flames. Elliot knew that the building was on its last wind. He willed Olivia to hurry, and prayed that she would make it out safely.

Olivia rushed down the stairwell, her legs nearly giving out from under her. She could hear commotion beneath her, and felt utter and complete relief when she saw the first firemen. He looked at her in surprise as if this sight was unusual or shocking. And in fact he was surprised, for when Elliot mentioned that his partner was in there he had assumed it was a man. But as he stared into the chocolate brown eyes of Olivia Benson and saw the determination in them. It took his breath away.

"Miss," he rushed up to her, relieving her of the older girl, who weighed 80 pounds. "I've got her. Come on, we need to get out of here." Olivia nodded, following after them. She stumbled at the bottom of the stairwell, and winced as her leg came down wrong on the step. She felt a pain shoot up her leg every time she put weight on it and it slowed her down. She was running across the lobby, when all heck broke lose. She heard a loud cracking as part of the ceiling caved, and looked up just in time to see the beam fall.

Olivia could hardly make a noise as something connected with her shoulder and she went down. Pain ripped through her arm and she knew something was broken. She struggled, trying to get back to her feet, but her efforts were futile. For whatever fell on her, was now pushing her into the ground. Something was also pushing her to the ground. She closed her eyes as the firefighters, rushed forwards to lift the piece of beam that had fallen. She grunted as one of them pulled her up from the floor and they kept running. She moved as if her life depended on it and ignored the pain. That, she decided, could wait.

As they cleared the front of the building, she locked eyes with Elliot. Even from yards away she could see every single thing he was feeling clear as day. Starting with relief, love, exhaustion, and everything else. A fireman was holding a mask over his, face, forcing him to breathe oxygen as a pair of EMT's worked on taking care of the girls. A pair of hands led her towards the bus, but Olivia's legs gave out somewhere between the front of the building and the bus. The man tried to pick her up but she resisted.

Rain had started to fall from the sky as the clouds opened up and dumped on the city below. It was cool outside and a shiver ran up Olivia's spine as cool water met hot skin. The rain was soothing, cleansing away all of the heat and fatigue. Water ran from her soot coated hair and down her face. She blinked away the droplets of water as she took a staggering breath.

"I just need to sit down for a moment," Olivia whined, her head spinning.

"Miss," the fireman in front of her spoke carefully, "You really need to get looked at."

"Just give me a minute," she spoke a little more intensely than she meant to. Luckily, the fireman didn't take it personally and backed off for a moment. Her body shivered in the cool night air, and her head pounding uncomfortably. She was vaguely aware of the heavy jacket that one of firemen wrapped around her shoulders. Every breath was hard for her at this point, due to the burning in her lungs, but she drew them all the same. She accepted the oxygen mask that one of the EMT's ran over. Her eyes drifted closed, and she groaned as she felt something pressed over her airways, and cool undiluted oxygen began to push its way into her lungs. She had never breathed or tasted anything so delicious in her life. The events suddenly started to replay themselves in her mind. No details or sensations were overlooked as she remembered every sensation of the adrenaline that coursed through her veins. Olivia slumped forwards, the fatigue and shock of the whole situation were overwhelming.

The next thing she was aware of, were the strong arms carried her the rest of the way to the bus. Whoever it was, was cradling her against his chest. She could barely mutter a thank you in between her fits of coughing. She protested as they laid her down on the gurney, but she was so exhausted she didn't have much of a fight left in her. Elliot sat inside, an oxygen mask covering his own passageways. He pulled it away briefly in inquire as to whether or not Olivia would be okay. The EMTs began assessing Olivia and burn she sustained to her shoulder, as well as the broken clavicle and sprained ankle. They were pleased to announce that she would be fine, before heading for the hospital. Elliot closed his eyes and thanked god for sparing them. He was Catholic, but not overly religious. Still, he felt as if someone had been looking out for them, and he was grateful.

During the trip, Olivia drifted in and out of consciousness. She could hear someone speaking her name, trying to get her to answer their questions. She could hear Elliot's deep dulcet voice answering for her, and she was silently grateful for him and their relationship. She expected that there wasn't anything that he didn't know about her.

Every once and a while, her eyes would blink open to see a soft pair of green eyes worriedly looking down on her. She tried to speak, but nothing would come out of her mouth except coughs and moans. Her eyes were blurry and the colors spilled together in fascinating, dizzying patterns. There was a bit of commotion as her blood pressure and the heart rate spiked on the monitor. Apparently she was in shock, and they gave her something to try and relax. She dozed, trying to make sense of what was going on around her. Finally, she lost all awareness of her surroundings and was launched into sleepless dreams.

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_**Review if you'd like more! I plan on updating at some point tomorrow.**_


	4. Nothing Wrong

**_Title: Smoke_**

**_Chapter: Nothing Wrong_**

**_Fandom: L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Rating: M (for mature adults) _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

**_A/N: Here's the next update! It's a little longer than the others. Hopefully you like it._**

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Alex awoke early the next morning, and went about her usual ways of getting ready. She hopped in the shower, cranking the temperature up nearly all the way. The water hit her shoulders in a steady stream. Steam billowed through her master bathroom, fogging up the windows, and leaving the air moist. Alex closed her eyes and let the water try and ease the tightness of her shoulders. She had hardly slept last night. She had been condemned to a night of toss and turns as she thought about the case. Alex let out a groan of frustration as her mind recalled the look of hurt on Olivia's face as she had the audacity to accuse them of blowing the case. She felt like such cold-hearted person sometimes. She knew that Olivia and Elliot did all they could for the case just as she had. They always did, and she had learned to expect as much of them. It just made cases like this that much harder to take, simply because it was none of their fault. They had been deceived, and now they had to figure out why.

After Alex ran out of hot water, she climbed out of the shower and dried herself off. Throwing on a robe, she padded off in the general direction of the kitchen. She could smell the heavenly aroma of her morning coffee drifting up to her nostrils. She curled up and flipped on the news, taking periodic sips of the hot, rich liquid. After finishing she made her way back to the bathroom to dry and style her hair. When that was done, she got dressed, went over her case files and departed. On her way out, she grabbed the newspaper. As she was stuck in morning traffic, she impulsively pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number she knew very well. She let out a sigh of disappointment when she heard it go straight to voicemail.

"Hey, Liv," Alex said calmly, "It's Alex. I just wanted to call and see if you guys made any progress on the case over night. I'm assuming that you're probably sleeping or something. I guess I'll try and catch you later at the precinct. Maybe I'll even bring you a coffee or a white flag. Bye." Alex flipped her phone shut with a sigh. She could only hope that she hadn't done permanent damage the night before.

It wasn't until she was in her office that she opened the paper and began to read it that she had any clue of what had happened over night. She was flipping to a later page, to read the end of the cover story when her eyes found it. It was a picture of Olivia. Alex felt her heart stop as her eyes took in the headline. _NYPD Detectives Save 3 from Raging Fire._ Alex's eyes hungrily raced over the black and white ink, searching for the details. A thousand thoughts started racing through her mind. She was worried. She could hardly believe it was true. Without much awareness, Alex picked up her phone and dialed Cragen's number. When his voice picked up on the other end, Alex managed to choke out enough words for a sentence.

"Captain Cragen, SVU," he spoke tiredly into the mouthpiece.

"Don?" Alex tried to keep the panic and worry out of her voice. "It's Alex Cabot."

"Alex," he replied in a friendly tone, "I was just about to call you."

"I just saw the paper," Alex revealed, "Why didn't you call me?" She was hurt that no one had called her. She liked to think of herself as part of the squad. What if something serious had happened? Would they have called her then?

"Sorry, Alex. You looked like you could use some sleep last night," Cragen replied, "I just assumed that I would fill you in on everything this morning."

"Is it true?" Alex asked quickly.

"I'm afraid so," Cragen replied, "Olivia and Elliot got to Nelson's apartment last night to find it in up in flames. The Fire Department says that the fire was set intentionally and that accelerant was used." Alex ceased breathing. "They found the girls chained to a radiator in the bedroom. Tracy was dead. It had to have been Nelson. The only problem is that the fire destroyed any forensics that might have helped us get him convicted." Alex took a deep breath, running her fingers against her eyes. She suddenly had a headache.

"What about the kids?" Alex asked. "Are they all right?"

"Yeah," the older man replied, "They're fine. They're at the hospital getting treated for smoke inhalation."

"Any of them see what happened?" Alex inquired, "Did they see Brandon shoot their mother?"

"We believe so," Cragen answered, "but we're not completely sure. Huang is waiting to talk to each of them. The girls were all in shock last night, so we tried to give them a little time and space." Alex nodded, not realizing that the man couldn't see her. "There's something else."

"What is it?" Alex breathed, staring at the picture of Olivia. She let her mind drift as she examined the woman's facial expression. The detective took her breath away, even when she was covered head to toe in black soot. She examined the photo, and the number of bodies in the background. She could only guess at the sort of chaos that had occurred last night. Olivia sat perched on the curb, her knees drawn up close to her stomach. One arm was held close to her midsection while the other lay haphazardly in her lap. In the photo, Olivia was covered head to toe in soot. Even with the black and white image, she could see every detail. Sweat pooled on Olivia's forehead, and a mask covered Olivia's nose and mouth. A fireman's jacket was wrapped around her shoulders. Olivia's strong shoulders were hunched over. She salivated slightly at the way that the white (now gray) undershirt Olivia wore clung to her sweat soaked body. Cragen's voice broke her out of her trance.

"Alexa showed signs of sexual abuse," Cragen replied, "The doctor ran a rape kit, and so we may have finally gotten some concrete DNA evidence." So much for fantasizing, Alex thought upon hearing the news. She felt an anger bubble up and spill over.

"That son of a bitch," Alex muttered, "He had the audacity to rape his own daughter, and kill his wife in front of their kids."

"I've got a BOLO out to the NYPD, and have sent his picture out to all local airports," Cragen said simply. "He won't get far, Alex. I promise you." Then he added. "We'll get him."

"Did you find anything useful in the financials?" Alex asked.

"Fin and Munch got record of a check for over twenty grand that was cashed last night," Cragen replied. "They found a discretion on Nelson's financials which lead us to believe that Douglas paid him off, for the first rape."

"But why would he pay him off?" Alex asked, "For his testimony?"

"Well," Cragen cleared his throat, "We think that Nelson is the one who raped Ashley. CSU is working on proving it."

"Which means that Nelson wasn't lying on the stand and that Douglas didn't rape her," Alex cursed under her breath. "We can't pull his testimony, which means that Douglas is going to roam free."

"But he was an accomplice," Cragen replied, "And CSU is working on proving that too." Then he added, "The evidence that we have supports the notion that he was in the room when Nelson raped her. There's still a chance we can charge him as an accessory for the rape. In the meantime, we'll talk to Nelson's girls and hopefully get them to incriminate their father. If we can get them to testify against him, we should have a solid case."

"You think that they'll do it?" Alex asked, "That they will testify against their own father?"

"Well," Cragen breathed, running a hand over his face, "We wont know for sure until Huang gets a chance to talk to them, but it's obvious that Nelson didn't want them to live through the night. And if he killed their mother in front of them, I can't see them keeping silent. As soon as Nelson shows up on our radar, we'll arrest him for murder."

"Good," Alex swallowed, trying not to seem to interested as she asked, "So how are Olivia and Elliot?"

"They're okay," Cragen replied honestly, "They're at the hospital."

"Waiting to talk to the kids?" Alex asked.

"No," Cragen replied, "Uhh…actually Olivia was held overnight for observation. They're treating her for smoke inhalation, shock and exhaustion." Alex's heart jolted in her chest. She began to feel her palms sweat as she thought of how drained Olivia looked in that picture. She would have been lying if she had said that she wasn't worried.

"What hospital?" Alex managed to choke out. She grabbed a piece of paper as Cragen told her the floor and room number that Olivia was in.

"Alex," Don stressed, "You really don't need to worry about it. She'll be fine. I'm giving both of them the day off. She should be home in the matter of a few hours."

"It's okay," Alex insisted, "I want to go." Alex took a deep breath as she spoke. She was afraid of revealing too much, and of Don picking up on her feelings for his detective, but continued nonetheless. "Besides, it's the least I can do. They single handedly just saved my case. I want to make sure that Olivia is all right."

"Okay," Cragen replied, "I'll call you if I hear anything."

"Thanks, Don," Alex thanked the man.

"No problem," he replied. They both hung up at the same time. Alex let out a ragged breath as she took another look at the picture. What was it about Olivia that drove Alex so crazy? With slow movements, Alex gathered up her things, and informed her secretary that she was taking the day off. It was something that she rarely did, so she didn't worry too much about it.

Olivia's next awareness of consciousness came hours after she let herself go to sleep in the ambulance. Olivia let out a heavy gasp as she felt the sharp ache in her shoulder for the first time. She tried to move, but everything seemed to weigh her down. She groped for something solid...something real. She was shrouded in darkness. That much she could tell as she looked around. A rapid beeping was flooding the room around her as the sound came back. Voices…she heard voices… She tried to alert them to her state, but they were unaware of her limited consciousness.

In a sleepy fog her mind, restarted itself. Her eyes flickered slowly open, once, twice, three times, before she could make sense of the colors above her. The bright lights in the room were nearly blinding. Olivia let out a groan as she tried to move. Her shoulder and chest still hurt immensely.

Her eyes blinked as a familiar face shot into her field of vision.

"Hey there, partner," he smiled knowingly, "Enjoying your nap?" Olivia made some sort of non-committal noise. It came out as a gurgle because the mask kept her from speaking properly. With her good arm, Olivia slowly reached up to pull off the mask, already annoyed with it. Elliot's hand stopped her from doing so.

"Uh uh," Elliot chided, "Doctor says the mask stays…at least for now. They're treating you for smoke inhalation." Olivia pulled up the mask enough to choke out a few words.

"Why aren't you breathing out of a canister?" Olivia joked.

"I did for a while," Elliot replied me, "But they cleared me. You, on the other hand, we're inside breathing smoke a lot longer than I was."

"I'm fine," Olivia muttered, her voice once again distorted. Elliot almost laughed at his partner's stubbornness. Of course, Olivia was fine. She was always fine. Even when getting decked across the shoulder by a falling beam that weighed more than he wanted to know.

"Sure you are," Elliot replied finally. "But they're still keeping you for another few hours."

"Figures," Olivia replied. She tried to sit up, but with a groan fell back against the pillows. "Help me up partner?" she breathed, pulling back her mask for a moment. Elliot nodded as she felt his hands snake behind her back, pulling her upwards. He helped her into sitting position against the pillows.

"You comfortable?" Elliot asked worriedly. Olivia nodded, trying to push her discomfort to the back of her mind. "How are the kids?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"They're all fine," Elliot said honestly, "They're all being treated for smoke inhalation just like you. But they should be released this morning."

"What about Nelson?" Olivia asked, "They find anything yet?"

"Fin and Munch found something in Nelson's financials. "As it turns out, Douglas paid him off. We didn't catch on to it because he used a bogus company to front the money, one with a P.O. box mailing address." He paused, "CSU also thinks that he may have been an accomplice in the rape. Now that they know what they're looking for they think that they can prove he was involved." Olivia nodded. "Brandon isn't going to get very far," Elliot promised.

"Cragen already sent out his pictures to all the bus stations and airports in the area," Elliot elaborated. "His car is also missing, so we also put out a BOLO on his license plate. We also have blue coats tailing Douglas just in case he tries to help out his friend."

"I'm starting to think that Nelson was the alpha," Olivia replied. "He's the only one who could have killed Tracy." Olivia noticed the change in Elliot's expression. She knew that he was about to tell her something troubling.

"Liv," he sighed, running a hand over his face, "The doctors who looked over Alexa, they found vaginal tearing and bruising on her thighs. She was…umm… raped."

"Did they do a kit?" Olivia asked. Elliot nodded.

"Yeah it was positive," Elliot swallowed, "And get this. The doctor said that the sperm was from two different males. Once we can get his DNA, it'll tell us what we already need to know."

"Nelson raped his daughter, and probably had Douglas do it too," Olivia winced. "God, that poor girl."

"Looks like they finally messed up, though," Elliot breathed. "It's clear that we weren't supposed to get to her alive." They both stopped talking as the Doctor entered.

"Ms. Benson," he said as he walked over, "I'm Dr. Sorenson. How are you feeling?"

"Please," Olivia murmured as she pulled back the mask to speak, "Call me Olivia."

"Olivia," he smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," Olivia replied, "Ready to go home." The doctor chuckled.

"I'm sure you are," he smiled. Then he looked down at the chart. "How about this? I'll look you over," He paused, "and I promise that if everything looks good you'll be free to go." He walked forwards, "I need to listen to your breathing and your heartbeat," he spoke tentatively. "Can you sit forwards?" Olivia nodded. With a little help from Elliot, she leant forwards enough to give the handsome doctor access to her back. He listened attentively for a few minutes before he indicated she was free to lie back.

"Everything sounds good," he commented, "I've detected a bit of an asthmatic reaction to the smoke. When I send you home, I'll give you an inhaler." He pulled out a film and showed it to her. "You did break your clavicle, so you'll have to keep your left arm immobilized for a while until it heals. You should be able to resume all normal activity in 12 weeks." Elliot watched as Olivia's eyes went wide with indignation. Sure enough, the protesting began.

"12 weeks!" Olivia repeated, "But I have to go back to work!"

"Liv," Elliot squeezed her hand, "It'll be alright."

"You're actually very lucky, Olivia," Dr. Sorenson said holding her gaze, "If that beam had been just a few inches to the right, it could have caused a serious head injury. I'll get the paperwork started to get you out of here, since it usually takes a while. You'll be out of here soon. Just hang in there, all right?" Olivia nodded. In a few minutes the doctor was gone. Her eyes begin to feel heavier by the minute and Elliot encouraged her to sleep. Reluctantly, she closed her eyes.

_The dream she had was less than pleasant. In fact, it was a nightmare. There she was, back in the building. She could feel the heat on her skin, and feel the smoke pouring into her lungs with each breath. She rushed up the stairs and kicked her way into Alex's apartment. She screamed for the blonde, coughing and hacking. She heard Alex's scream and rushed forwards. Alex was chained to the radiator, and try as Olivia might. Olivia couldn't pull it away by herself. She screamed and pulled at it, again and again until her arms felt like lead and her legs felt like jelly. Tears poured down her cheeks as Alex told her to leave her there. Olivia couldn't bring herself to do it._

"_Just go, Liv," Alex begged, holding Olivia's face in her hands. "Leave me! You have to go!"_

"_No!" Olivia protested, stealing a kiss from Alex's plush, pliant lips. "I'm not leaving without you. I've already lost you once. I'm not going to do it again." Olivia could hear the groan of metal as the building made its distress known to them._

"_Liv," Alex whispered, "I love you. I'll always love you." Olivia felt as a weak hand tried to push her away. "Now please. You have to go!"_

"_No!" Olivia nearly screamed, "I'm not leaving you. I can't! Please don't make me! Please!"_ The next thing Olivia knew, she was being cradled as Elliot shook her gently awake. She was grateful to him for pulling her from the nightmare. He whispered reassurances in her ear.

"It's all right, you're safe," Elliot breathed, kissing the top of her head.

"It was just a dream," Olivia panted, her lung wheezing.

"Just a dream," Elliot confirmed. Olivia let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes, trying to keep her mind from venturing back to the place she had just been. Olivia wanted to know why it was always Alex in her dreams. It used to be Elliot, and at some times Fin or Munch. But now, it was always Alex in her dreams. Alex was always the one she couldn't save…the one she couldn't get to, and it ate away at Olivia's heart. Olivia could only figure that it was because, even to this day, that she felt responsible for Alex the night she was shot. She blamed herself for leaving Alex out in the open like that. And even though she'd tried everything she can think of to reconcile that feeling, she couldn't.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Olivia's eyes flickered open, bringing her back to the present. Olivia shook her head. Fortunately, Elliot didn't push the issue. Olivia opened her mouth to inquire as to what time it was, when the door flew open. Olivia felt the breath sucked out of her lungs as a very disheveled looking Alex Cabot walked through the door.

"Oh thank goodness," Alex breathed, dropping her bag. "Cragen told me everything. How are you?"

"Fine," Olivia murmured, pulling back her mask. Elliot had grown used to Olivia's muffled voice, but she didn't like speaking through a piece of plastic.

"I can't believe you two," Alex said with some amusement in her voice, trying to hide her concern, "Only you guys would pull something like this. Everyone goes running out of a burning building and you two just go rushing into it without so much as a second thought." Her eyes confirmed that Olivia was in fact going to be fine. But her heart was still beating erratically in her chest. Her thoughts continued to remind her that this time they had gotten lucky.

"Yep," Elliot smiled, "That's us. What? Did you come here to yell at us or something?"

"Yell?" Alex looked a little taken aback, "No…Of course not. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Once again," Olivia smiled, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "We're fine." Her eyes twinkled as she added. "And I've gotten my weekly adrenaline rush, so you don't have to worry about me pulling anything like this for the next week." Alex felt her heart pick up in her chest at the way Olivia looked at her. She silently reprimanded herself and tried not to look too much like a giddy schoolgirl.

"So when do you get to go home?" Alex asked as she plopped down into a chair.

"Sometime this morning," Olivia replied. "Why? What time is it?"

"About 9:00," Alex replied. They both looked towards the door as the nurse came in.

"I've come to tell you that you're free to go," the nurse smiled. Olivia nearly jumped out of bed. She pulled off the oxygen mask, and slid over to the edge of the bed. She quickly slid forwards, putting weight on her feet. Olivia felt her heart begin to pound as she felt Alex's hands steadying her when she stumbled a bit. Her left ankle was in a bulky brace and she wasn't used to balancing in it yet.

"Whoa," Alex breathed, "Slow down a little, Liv. Doing a face plant isn't going to get you out of here any faster." Olivia smiled sheepishly. She still locked somewhat of a mess. The doctor had let Elliot wipe the soot from off of her face and neck, but it still covered most of her body, including her arms shoulders.

"I'm good," Olivia breathed tensely, finding it hard to form words when Alex was toughing her, "Thanks, Alex."

"No problem, Liv," Alex replied. The blonde watched intently as the nurse pulled out Olivia's I.V. The nurse then began going over discharge instructions, handing over a prescription for an inhaler and pain medicine, as well as some antibiotic ointment for the burn on her shoulder. Alex didn't realize that she was staring until Olivia called her name. With a blush creeping onto her cheeks, she shook her head, ridding it of the rather suggestive thoughts.

"Alex?" Olivia called again, "Everything all right?"

"Yeah," Alex answered all too quickly clearing her throat. "I'm good. What do you need?"

"Can you umm…" Olivia diverted her eyes from Alex's crystal baby blues, "Help me get dressed." Alex felt a little elated at the thought. "I really can't move my arm and I…"

Alex cut her off with an, "Of course." Elliot gave a nod and left the room, shutting it behind him. Alex pulled out Olivia's ruined clothes from the cubby in her room, realizing that the brunette couldn't wear them out of this place. Luckily, the nurse caught this and offered up a pair of scrubs for Olivia to wear. Alex frowned upon seeing Olivia's leather jacket, which was now in tatters. Of course, Alex could never bring herself to tell Olivia just how much she loved how Olivia looked in that jacket, but when the detective wore it, she was simply divine. Olivia caught her looking at it, and voiced her disappointment. Apparently Olivia was upset about the loss as well.

"Well," Olivia sighed, "It was good while it lasted."

"We'll get you a new one," Alex promised as Olivia turned around. Slowly Alex's fingers brushed against the nape of Olivia's neck as she untied the strings of the gown. Olivia could feel the heat of Alex's fingers burn into her flesh. To her, the heat seemed warmer than the heat of the fire on her skin the night before. Olivia closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on anything other then the things Alex was making her feel.

Alex was having trouble too. Her palms began to sweat excessively. She let her touch linger on Olivia's soft, warm skin, savoring the feel of it before she finally slid her hands down to untie the gown at the base of Olivia's back. With a tug, the bow came untied and the gown hung loose on Olivia's shoulders. Carefully, Alex pulled the buttons apart on the left sleeve in order to avoid the manipulation of Olivia's arm that would be necessary to slide it out of the gown. By the time Alex helped Olivia slip the gown off of Olivia's shoulders, the blonde's hands were shaking. She tried not to look at the broad expanse of skin composing Olivia's back, but failed. She noted every scar, and the way her skin glistened. Alex took a deep staggered breath as she slipped the light blue top over Olivia's head. Ever so carefully, she threaded Olivia's left arm through the sleeve. She felt Olivia's body tense as the brunette let out a gasp.

Alex then helped Olivia into the sling. All the while Alex felt like she wanted to die. The blonde ADA was feeling so much that it was hard to process and channel her feelings. She knew that she felt an attraction for Olivia, but this was a whole other level of feelings.

Olivia was having her own trouble as Alex slid the scrub bottoms slowly up her legs. Olivia willed her body not to respond to the touch when Alex's hand accidentally brushed her inner thigh. Unfortunately, she had no control over it. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as Alex pulled the fabric up past her hips. Alex felt Olivia tense and glanced up. A worried expression took over her face as she straightened up. She brushed Olivia's abdomen with her fingertips as she tied the garment securely in place. She could see all of the muscle's in Olivia's midsection tighten at once.

"Liv," Alex's voice was soft, "You okay?" Olivia's eyes opened to see blue. The concern and compassion in Alex's eyes was overwhelming. It literally took her breath away for a moment. She could feel the heat building in her body, and the desire that was flooding to the surface. She had no choice but to lie.

"Of course," Olivia muttered, not pulling her eyes away. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Alex swallowed, wanting any excuse to touch the woman before her. Subconsciously, Olivia's tongue darted out to moisten her dry chapped lips. Alex watched this with a great deal of longing. Without thinking about it, Alex started to lean forwards. She would have kissed Olivia had a nurse not knocked at the door at that exact moment. Luckily, Olivia remained somewhat oblivious to Alex's intentions, which allowed them to escape this situation without awkwardness.

"You ready?" the nurse yelled through the door. Alex jumped back a step or two as Olivia muttered in the affirmative, and the door opened. The nurse came in with a wheelchair. Alex watched as Olivia refused it. However, when the nurse muttered something about hospital policy Olivia conceded. She plopped down into the chair with a childlike expression on her face that warmed Alex's heart.

"How about we get you out of here," Alex suggested. Olivia nodded. Elliot walked through the door, flipping his phone shut.

"That was Dad," he told Olivia, "He needs me to run to the precinct." Alex felt her heart begin to beat faster in her chest as Elliot looked to her.

"Alex," he spoke softly, "Could you do me a huge favor and bring Olivia home for me?"

"Uhh," Alex could hardly form a coherent thought, but she managed to choke out, "Sure." Alex took a look at Olivia to make sure that the detective was okay with it. Alex was rewarded when Olivia smiled, and told Elliot to go.

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_**Please Read and Review! Let me know if you'd like more!**_


	5. Change Your Mind

_**Disclaimer: So this is the next update. It's more of a lead in as you'll see towards the end. I'm hoping that you continue to enjoy this story! **_

**Title: Smoke**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

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Within minutes, Olivia was sitting in the passenger seat of Alex's car and they were headed back to Olivia's apartment. The tension between them built gradually with each passing minute, but neither of them dared to break the silence. Olivia's head was turned away from Alex. She was feigning interest as she stared out the side window at the storefronts that whizzed by. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears and Olivia let out a deep breath. Most of the trip was made in silence. Every once and a while, Olivia would steal a glance towards the blonde. She thought she was being subtle, but really, she was giving herself away. Alex was no different. She tried to concentrate on driving, but she couldn't ignore Olivia's presence and the way it made her feel. Finally, Alex decided she was going to have to be the one to speak first. Olivia was too stubborn.

"So…" Alex spoke as she turned down the radio, "How do you do it?" Olivia's head turned away from the window to meet Alex's wandering eyes. She looked slightly confused. It was only then that Alex realized how vague the question really was.

"What do you mean?" Olivia inquired, her brows high on her forehead.

"Take risks like that," Alex muttered, trying to keep her attention on the surrounding traffic, "I mean…Surely, last night every instinct and logical thought had to be telling you to run in the other direction, but you guys went in anyways." Alex swallowed, "You do that every day. You put your own life on the line without a second thought."

"I don't really know how to explain it," Olivia replied finally. "It's just what we do, Alex." Olivia paused, trying to discern a way to describe it accurately. "You know that."

"But don't you feel fear, nervousness?" Alex breathed, observing Olivia's expression.

"Of course," Olivia replied. "All the time. I guess that I just manage to turn it into something else." Olivia swallowed, "It's all about the commitment. I've learned to react instinctually. So when confronted with a problem, I weigh my options, decide what the best course of action is, and then commit to it without hesitation." Alex nodded. She finally understood what Olivia was saying. "It's not that I don't feel fear just like everyone else. It's just that I spend every minute of every day preparing myself for those kinds of moments. You learn to be ready for everything."

"Still," Alex breathed, "It's a little frightening."

"How so?" Olivia asked, giving Alex her full attention as they stopped at a stoplight.

"You have one of the most dangerous jobs in the city, Liv," Alex spoke aloud, "I can't tell you how many nightmares I have about getting a call about something happening to you…or the rest of the squad. The thought that something could happen to you is overwhelming." Alex tried to keep her expression composed as she spoke again. "And frankly, what happened last night only makes those fears more realistic."

"Alex," Olivia spoke softly, she was surprised to see that the previous night had affected Alex so much. "Look, I can't promise you that I'm never going to get hurt, because frankly, it comes with the job description. But I can promise you that we'll always be careful. I'm always careful." Olivia paused, reaching out to take Alex's hand. "I'm sorry if I upset you," Olivia apologized. "I want you to know that I always go into situations with caution. Plus, Elliot has my back. You know that." Alex opened her mouth to speak, but failed. Olivia squeezed her hand.

"I promise that I'm okay, Alex," Olivia reassured her.

"I know that," Alex managed to choke out. Within minutes, they arrived outside of Olivia's apartment. Olivia's head was lolling on her shoulder. Sometime over the last 20 minutes the brunette had fallen asleep. Alex cut the engine and pulled her keys from the ignition. Without hesitating, Alex leaned over the center console and unbuckled Olivia. Olivia stirred ever so slightly, mumbling something that made Alex blush. She wanted to know who it was that the detective was dreaming about. But her conscience won out, and she decided it wasn't her business. With a certain gentleness Alex brushed the matted hair from Olivia's forehead. Olivia's eyes blinked open rather sleepily.

"Alex?" Olivia murmured sleepily.

"Liv?" Alex's voice was gentle as she spoke, "Hey. Rise and shine. We're here."

"Where's here?" Olivia asked.

"Your apartment," Alex replied. As she waited for Olivia to wake fully, Alex jumped out of the car. By the time she made it around the back of the car to the passenger side, Olivia had the door open, and was climbing out using her right arm as leverage. Alex helped her out the rest of the way. Olivia's left ankle was in a boot, and so, Alex pulled the brunette's good arm around her shoulders to stabilize her. Together they limped towards the front door. As they waited for the elevator, they took a breather. Sweat was already pooling on Olivia's forehead, from both the stress on her body and the exhaustion that was already present.

"You okay?" Alex asked worriedly, looking at Olivia's tightened jaw.

"Yeah," Olivia forced a smile, "Just tired." With a small chime the elevator arrived and they hobbled into it. They rode it up to Olivia's apartment. Within minutes, they were inside. Olivia plopped down on the couch, as Alex got a bottle of water and Olivia's painkillers. With a swallow, Olivia forced them down.

"You need anything else, Liv?" Alex asked softly. "Want me to help you to bed?"

"No," Olivia shook her head. "Not yet." Olivia paused for a moment, contemplating what she wanted to do the most besides, pulling Alex down on the couch with her. "But I could umm… really use a long soak in the bathtub," Olivia spoke.

"Of course," Alex agreed, "You probably can't wait to get cleaned up." Alex fidgeted nervously for a second, observing Olivia. Then she seemed to realize that she was being inappropriate. "I'll go run the water for you," Alex said as she departed for the bathroom, "Why don't you close your eyes for a couple of minutes?"

Olivia laid back on the couch and closed her eyes. She jumped a little when Alex laid a gentle touch on her arm as she spoke Olivia's name to wake her. Olivia's eyes opened to find two pools looking down on her. She blinked slowly, and her good hand reached up to grab the hand that so softly touched her the moment before. She noticed Alex's eyes dart down to the area of contact. Olivia took a deep breath, and slowly pushed herself up off of the couch. Alex took a step back, letting Olivia have her independence. After Olivia was halfway up, Alex helped her up the rest of the way. Olivia misread Alex's nervousness for thinking that she had gone too far in touching the blonde. And so, when Alex tried to help her, she shrugged the blonde away.

"I've got it," Olivia said through gritted teeth.

"Liv," Alex pleaded, "Let me help you. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I said I've got it," Olivia's defensive tone left no room for argument. Alex was left staring after her. Alex closed her eyes, trying to figure out what had just happened. Slowly, she walked towards the bathroom. She heard Olivia crying softly. Alex tried the knob only to find it was locked.

"Liv?" Alex tried to keep her voice even as she spoke. "Liv, you okay in there?"

"I'm fine," Olivia bit out rather coldly, "Just go. I'll be fine." Olivia swore under her breath as she stumbled, and had to throw out her good arm to keep from falling down. She was okay, but this only concerned Alex more. All she heard was the loud bang, of Olivia's hand hitting the wall. Olivia was struggling to hold her own body weight. Thoughts of panic raced through Alex's mind.

"Liv," Alex yelled, her voice quavering, "Are you okay? Open the door! Please?" Olivia closed her eyes. Now she'd done it. Olivia silently berated herself. Why couldn't she just keep her impulses under control.

"You're really freaking me out, Liv," Alex said trying the knob for the tenth time, "Please." Olivia took a deep breath, limping slowly over to the door. She could hear Alex breathing heavily on the other side of the door obviously distressed. Reluctant fingers slightly trembled as Olivia pushed herself against the wall and reached out to flip the lock. With a click she stepped away from the door. Alex was already pushing the door open. Olivia made a point to keep her back to Alex, but being slightly immobile she could move fast enough to keep Alex from seeing her face when the blonde stepped around her. Alex's face fell as she saw Olivia's strained expression.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked softly. "What did I do to make you upset?"

"It's nothing," Olivia whispered, "Just forget it. Can you please just help me out of my shirt?" Alex swallowed over the massive lump in her throat. She had thought about this sort of scenario so many times before, but now that the moment was before her, she found herself hesitating. She could see Olivia put up the walls that she knew were supposed to protect her from getting hurt.

"Sure, Liv," Alex breathed in a whisper. She watched as Olivia closed her eyes. It was almost as if Olivia were bracing for the touch. Alex had no idea what possessed her but she didn't want to fight it anymore. All she had been able to think all morning was about what would have happened if Olivia had been seriously hurt. Cragen hadn't called her because he saw no significance in their friendship. It killed Alex that she had no claim over Olivia, even though her heart had long since been taken from her. Olivia probably didn't even know it. The detective never would, unless she made the first move. Alex felt the danger of what she was about to do. There's a sort of fear that courses through you when you realize that you need to take a chance. Probably because you know exactly what you'll be losing if it doesn't go as planned. And in this case, Alex had everything to lose.

Alex was torn with indecision. She thought more and more about Olivia's words. It was true. Olivia couldn't promise Alex she would never get hurt. Making such a promise would be untrue. What they did was inherently dangerous. Alex knew this better than anybody. After all, she had lived through death. She had kept away from Olivia on purpose. She was still afraid to get hurt. She could only hope that Olivia loved her. In many ways, Olivia had conveyed her feelings through nonverbal means. Alex had heard the rumors about Olivia and Casey Novak. She had seen the guilt in Olivia's eyes when she returned for the Connor's trial. Olivia had given a part of herself away to the ADA. As much as Alex wanted to be angry and bitter about that fact she couldn't be. She had lied about the claims adjuster, silently begging Olivia to call her out on it. Unfortunately, Olivia had taken things at face value. She had even acted happy for Alex. Then came the contradiction. Olivia had held Alex that night upon her request. And there is is. Wasn't having something better than having nothing at all? Even if it were just for a day? Of course, Alex could only hope that it would turn into so much more. They both had so much to lose. That was the beauty of it. Alex could only hope that if Olivia was brave enough to go running into a flaming building that she would be brave enough to take the leap with Alex.

Slowly, Alex reached up, brushing her palm against Olivia's cheek. She was rewarded when Olivia's eyes opened. The warm pools of brown glinted in the dim bathroom lighting. They gave Olivia away. Alex knew she was confused. Alex found it suddenly hard to breath.

"Alex, I'm sorry," Olivia breathed in a whisper. "I'm just really tired and cranky."

"Obviously," Alex replied, "Liv, it's okay. You've had a really long day. I think you've earned a right to be tired and cranky."

"Still," Olivia sighed, "I shouldn't be taking it out on you." Olivia lifted her good hand up to rub at the spot where Alex's hand had just brushed her cheek. She had a far away look in her eyes that was hard to miss.

"Liv, How about you tell me what is really upsetting you?" Alex pleaded softly, trying to catch Olivia's eyes. Then she added, "You know you can tell me anything."

"No," Olivia shook her head adamantly, "Not this."

"Why not?" Alex interrogated her, desperate to know if Olivia felt the same way. The look in Olivia's eyes gave her a glimmer of hope. Olivia reflexively pulled her eyes away from Alex's cerulean eyes.

"Because I can't," Olivia muttered.

"Can't?" Alex said stubbornly, "Yes you can. Come on, Liv, this isn't fair!"

"What isn't fair?" Olivia asked, pulling away. "I didn't do anything to you."

"Yes you did," Alex said defiantly, "You're making a choice for me that you don't have a right to make. Alex took a deep breath as she tried to muster up enough courage to speak, "Are you really that afraid?" Alex took a step forwards quickly closing the space between their bodies. "The Olivia Benson that I know isn't afraid of anything. You just ran into a flaming building for goodness sake. And yet, you can't bring yourself to admit that you have feelings for me." Alex's hands reached up to frame Olivia's face. For a heart stopping moment, Olivia thought Alex was going to kiss her, but instead Alex merely brushed her forehead to Olivia's. Olivia closed her eyes for a long moment, drawing a shaky breath.

"There's no way that you can feel the same way," Olivia whispered, "You just can't."

"And why not?" Alex asked. Much to Alex's own dismay she didn't get a response, and Olivia's eyes did not open. She had no other choice. The next thing Olivia knew, Alex pushed herself the last few inches, kissing Olivia softly. Olivia's eyes opened to confirm what she knew. With her good arm, Olivia grabbed Alex's hip and pulled her close. Alex's hands dropped down to Olivia's side for stability purposes, as Olivia's reversed and slipped her hand around the back of Alex's neck. She squeezed the muscle at the back of the blonde's neck before tangling her hand in Alex's soft golden hair. Alex moaned into her mouth as Olivia's tongue invaded, running along the warm, hot contours of Alex's mouth, rendering the blonde unable to think. Olivia was forced to pull back suddenly as her lungs clenched painfully, needing oxygen. Olivia suddenly hunched over, coughing and gasping for air.

"You okay?" Alex's hands grabbed Olivia to keep the brunette from falling over. Olivia straightened up, insisting that she was fine.

"Fine," Olivia muttered, wincing as she took a deep breath. "I guess my body still needs as much oxygen as it can get."

"That's understandable," Alex replied, with a knowing expression. It was nearly cocky. She opened her mouth to speak but the words stopped in her throat as Olivia pushed into Alex eagerly continuing what she had broken off seconds before. Olivia moaned and Alex's tongue slipped into the brunette's mouth, stroking Olivia's tongue. Alex slipped her hand around Olivia's back, pulling her closer. Olivia's upper body rubbed up against the thin fabric of Alex's shirt and she could feel Olivia's arousal through the scrub top. Olivia wasn't wearing a bra on account of the injured shoulder. Olivia's voice was demanding as she murmured her request into Alex's mouth.

"Get in the tub with me?" Olivia asked, causing Alex's hands to withdraw.

"Liv," Alex's voice was soft, "I… I really think that we should take things slow."

"Right," Olivia nodded and swallowed, looking crestfallen.

"Liv," Alex's voice was soft.

"It's fine," Olivia, muttered, her body still flushed, "I get it." Olivia turned around, reaching down to the hem of her own shirt, starting to pull the fabric upwards. She stilled her movements as Alex's voice echoed through the bathroom.

"Wait," Alex pleaded, slowly turning Olivia around. The soft delicate hands took over. Alex gently manipulated Olivia's arm out of the sleeve. Alex kissed Olivia again, after the shirt was over Olivia's head. She kissed her slowly and passionately as if she were Olivia's lover.

"I thought you wanted to take things slowly," Olivia chided teasingly.

"Yeah," Alex smiled. "Well I just changed my mind… I think that we've both waited long enough." the words were out of Alex's lips as she ran her hands over the broad expanse of Olivia's chest.

* * *

_**Please Read and Review! Let me know if you'd like more!**_


	6. Just Watch the Fireworks

**_Title: Smoke_**

**_Chapter: Just Watch the Fireworks_**

**_Fandom: L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Rating: MA (for mature adults)_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

**_A/N: So I left my two favorite people in the bathroom getting ready to scrub down. What do you think this is? It's some good ole smut, peeps! Here's the next update! And obviously, since this contains blatantly adult themes, this chapter is rated MA. Without further ado, this is part 1!_**

"_Get in the tub with me?" Olivia asked, causing Alex's hands to withdraw._

"_Liv," Alex's voice was soft, "I… I really think that we should take things slow."_

"_Right," Olivia nodded and swallowed, looking crestfallen._

"_Liv," Alex's voice was soft. _

"_It's fine," Olivia, muttered, her body still flushed, "I get it." Olivia turned around, reaching down to the hem of her own shirt, starting to pull the fabric upwards. She stilled her movements as Alex's voice echoed through the bathroom._

"_Wait," Alex pleaded, slowly turning Olivia around. The soft delicate hands took over. Alex gently manipulated Olivia's arm out of the sleeve. Alex kissed Olivia again, after the shirt was over Olivia's head. She kissed her slowly and passionately as if she were Olivia's lover._

_"I thought you wanted to take things slowly," Olivia chided teasingly._

_"Yeah," Alex smiled. "Well I just changed my mind… I don't think I can resist you any longer," the words were out of Alex's lips as she ran her hands over the broad expanse of Olivia's chest. Olivia moaned as Alex ran her palms over Olivia's breasts, before she began to roll Olivia's nipple through her fingers._

* * *

"I'm glad," Olivia whispered as she slid her warm hands under Alex's top to caress her stomach. "Because…. I can't either." Alex kissed her again. Olivia's small hands quickly relieved Alex of her coat, slipping it from her shoulders and onto the bathroom floor. Olivia ignored the pain in her left arm. She could hardly move the arm itself, so her right attempted to make up for her lefts lack of touching. Olivia groaned, feeling the cool air of the bathroom, and the contrast that Alex's warm solid body provided.

"I want this…need this," Alex breathed as Olivia kissed her again. In a sort of dance, Alex and Olivia relieved themselves of their clothes. Olivia gasped as Alex's hands moved to the tie of Olivia's bottoms and brushed against the taught muscles in Olivia's abdomen. In another kiss, the scrub bottoms were sliding down Olivia's hips to the floor. Olivia managed to stumble out of the fabric, and further into Alex's arms. Olivia let out a moan as Alex's lips brushed the salty skin at the base of Olivia's neck. Alex pulled away in order to slide her own shirt over her head. She tossed it away without another thought, before unclasping her bra and discarding it as well. In a breath, Alex was slipping her hand around Olivia's neck and pulling the brunette closer. Alex moaned as their chests brushed together. Sensitized skin, sent shivers up both of their spines. Mouths hungrily clashed together.

"I love you," Alex breathed in between kisses.

"Lex," Olivia kissed her, "I love you too."

"Make love to me," Olivia pleaded. "Make it as slow and drawn out as you want. I have no intention of going anywhere anytime soon." Olivia watched with anticipation as Alex unbuttoned her own jeans. Olivia pulled her in for another kiss.

"You think you can stand?" Alex inquired in a whisper.

"What are you thinking?" Olivia breathed huskily her head briefly resting in the crook of Alex's neck.

"Shower," Alex panted. Olivia nodded, taking Alex's lips in another passionate kiss. Alex moaned as Olivia's fingers slid under Alex's panties to brush warm slick skin. Alex knees nearly buckled as Olivia began stroking small concentric circles over the bundle of nerves. "God, Liv," Alex gasped. Miraculously, Olivia had enough strength to hold Alex up with one arm. Sweat began to pool on Olivia's brow under the stress of her own muscles.

Olivia quickly withdrew her hand, causing Alex to be left with a feeling of emptiness. Alex protested, grabbing Olivia's wrist.

"Shower," Olivia muttered, making known her intent. Alex quickly slid her own underwear down her legs, walking over to the shower. She started the water flow, and steam billowed slowly into the room. Meanwhile, Olivia sat down on the tub, unclasping the brace from around her ankle. These breaks from contact and kissing were only slight hiccups in their lovemaking. It did little to slow them down in the long run.

"You sure about this?" Alex asked Olivia as she knelt down.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life," Olivia replied as her eyes flicked up to meet sparkling blue eyes. Olivia's breath hitched as they held each other's gaze. It was as if time stood still for a long moment and the world stopped spinning. Alex let out a moan as Olivia pulled her in for another frenzied kiss. Alex responded with so much vigor that she nearly pushed Olivia backwards into the tub. Luckily, Alex's reflexes were good and she caught Olivia around the waist. "Help me up?" Olivia begged in between kisses.

"Just a sec," Alex replied quickly, as she reached down with her other hand to draw Olivia's boy shorts down the brunette's legs, taking special care to graze the skin down Olivia's muscular legs. The blonde made a soft sound of approval, before pulling Olivia to her feet. Together they limped for the shower, never breaking contact. Olivia moaned as the hot water poured onto her aching body. She hadn't realized how much she hurt until now. Luckily, Alex was the perfect distraction.

Alex moaned as Olivia's mouth latched itself onto the skin between Alex's neck and right clavicle, licking and sucking on the flesh there. With a bit of pressure, Olivia bit down on the flawless expanse as if to mark or claim her. Olivia stopped only when Alex forced her head back upwards to give her access to Olivia's mouth. With force, Alex pushed Olivia into the back wall of the shower. There was hardly enough room for them to maneuver inside, but they made it work.

"Alex, please," Olivia pleaded as Alex stalled for a minute or two, trying to visualize how things would work. Olivia let out a gasp as Alex's hand slipped behind Olivia's left thigh and forced it upwards to give her access.

"Bear with me," Alex breathed into Olivia's ear. "And please tell me if I hurt you. Causing you pain is the last thing I want to do." The breath on Olivia's neck caused her to squirm. Olivia closed her eyes as she felt one of Alex's hands run slowly down her midline to the expectant flesh between her legs. Olivia was throbbing for Alex's touch and she was desperate to feel anything. The moment that Alex's fingers made purchase on their intended target, Olivia's hips bucked forwards. The fingers slid inwards, into warm, soft, velvet, and Olivia could hardly breathe.

"Lex," Olivia gasped. "Don't stop." Alex stole several kisses from Olivia before dropping slowly onto her knees. Olivia protested at the loss of contact. Ever so carefully Alex pulled Olivia's left leg over her shoulder, opening Olivia up for her. The noise that Olivia made in the back of her throat upon realizing Alex's intent had a fresh wave of moisture spilling between Alex's throbbing thighs.

Alex let out a growl as she nuzzled Olivia's soft curls, smelling the detective's arousal. Slowly, her tongue reached out, to lap up the moisture. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, barely able to tolerate the extreme waves of pleasure. Alex pushed her tongue inside of Olivia's recently vacated entrance to discover that the reality was so much better than fantasy. After having a taste of the brunette it was hard for Alex to retract her tongue from between the luscious folds. In its place, she sank her two fingers deep inside the brunette, eliciting a moan. She could feel Olivia's strong walls clench around her as she began her ministrations. Two fingers slid rhythmically in and out as Alex swirled patterns over Olivia's clit with her tongue. Olivia braced herself against the back wall of the shower. Olivia's back went rigid against the cool shower wall as she went for the ride. Alex closed her eyes, memorizing every noise that came from the brunette as she flicked Olivia's clit with her tongue. Alex took Olivia to the edge before slowly extracting herself and pulling away, leaving Olivia groaning, begging for release.

Alex straightened up, easing Olivia's leg back down, to where she held it to her waist. Olivia's strong thigh pulled Alex closer. Alex's mouth found Olivia's again, her arousal burning hotter than she had ever felt it burn before. Olivia moaned in approval as she tasted herself on Alex's lips. For a long moment, the two slowed things down. Olivia and Alex kissed ardently, expressing their love for one another through depth and exploration. Olivia's sex throbbed painfully, but it only made Olivia appreciate Alex even more for making her feel that way.

"Lex," Olivia breathed, her hips thrusting slightly against Alex immovable body. "Touch me. God, please."

"Shh," Alex soothed, "I've got you baby." Olivia let out another deep guttural moan as Alex resumed thrusting her fingers into Olivia with a steady rhythm, slowly building up to Olivia's release. Slowly, Alex's kisses trailed down Olivia's neck, finding the place where Olivia's strong pulse point met the outside world. After taking a moment to suck on the moist heated flesh, tasting the sweet and salty flesh, Alex trailed her ways slowly downwards until her mouth found the good side of Olivia's shoulder and began to return the favor. By the time the blonde was done, Olivia had several definitive marks on her neck and shoulder. Olivia let out a moan as Alex's mouth slid down to pay attention to Olivia's aching chest. Alex was rewarded as the sensation drew Olivia closer to the edge.

"Alex!" Olivia let out in a deep guttural moan seconds later. It was the most beautiful sound that the woman had ever heard.

"Open your eyes, Liv," Alex begged as she straightened up again. Alex knew that Olivia was close. All the muscles in Olivia's body tightened as if she were a tiger waiting to pounce on its prey. Alex stole another kiss from her lover as she ran her thumb over Olivia's swollen clit. The only thing Olivia could do is let out a non-committal noise in the back of her throat. "Come on, Liv," Alex commanded in her deep alto voice, "I want to see your eyes. I crave them. Please." Alex was unprepared for when Olivia's eyes opened. They were like dark molten chocolate; the light and darkness swirled around them in a mesmerizing pattern.

"God, Liv," Alex moaned as Olivia nearly took her breath away, "You're almost there, baby. Let go, sweetie. Let go for me." Olivia kissed her with a renewed fervor. Alex's own mind became foggy as she pushed her fingers into Olivia. She was close herself just from watching Olivia, from feeling the brunette respond to her touches. Spurred on by Olivia's moans, Alex began to thrust harder and faster into Olivia's center, spurts of breath coming from between her own lips with the effort. Olivia's eyes never left Alex's vibrant blue eyes as Olivia threw her body into every touch and sensation. It had been so long since she'd been touched like this. She wanted it so badly. To have the woman she loved touching her like this meant so much more.

Olivia tried so very hard to keep her eyes open, but as she neared the edge she found it so much harder to do. With one last flick of Alex's thumb over Olivia's swollen clit, Olivia was catapulted forwards into her release. Olivia closed her eyes as she braced for orgasm, however, before Alex could reprimand her, Olivia's eyes shot back open and her body recoiled. To see Olivia's dark brown eyes and the emotion in them as the detective finally came was the only gift Alex ever needed or wanted. She would always remember the feel of Olivia's walls clenching around her fingers tightly as Olivia rode the waves of pleasure. Alex's name fell through Olivia's lips in a chant. As she came down from the climax, Olivia's body relaxed and folded into Alex's. For a long moment the two bodies melded together as if they were one, with Olivia's head resting on Alex's shoulder. It was then and only then that Alex realized how tired Olivia actually was. The only thing that was holding Olivia up was the blonde's own strength.

"Love you," Olivia managed to mutter into Alex's ear. "You're amazing."

"Love you too, Liv," Alex breathed. Alex looked around. Hot water continued to pour down onto them. Olivia was practically falling asleep standing up.

With slow careful movements, Alex reached around Olivia, and squirted shampoo into her palm. Olivia let out another sleepy moan as Alex's hands for Olivia's hair and began working it into lather. Her fingers brushed Olivia's tender scalp in a soft mesmerizing pattern.

"Mmm," Olivia's lips parted slightly. The brunette managed to stay awake enough to hold herself upright. Alex started working her way down Olivia's body, applying body wash. She took time to explore her lover's body, taking note of every place the brunette liked to be touched. By the time she was finished cleaning the residual dirt and grime from Olivia's body, the detective was throbbing for her all over again. Olivia stole kisses, and touches as Alex finished.

"What are you doing?" Olivia whined as Alex helped her from the shower a couple of minutes later. "We're not done. I want to return the favor." Selflessly, Alex looked into Olivia's stunning brown eyes and spoke.

"No you don't, Liv," Alex replied. "We can continue this later after you've slept a bit. Come on, you're practically dead on your feet."

"But…" Olivia's protest was stopped before it could begin. Alex's lips took hers in a searing kiss. With significant effort, Alex carried Olivia back to the bed, settling her between the covers. She kissed Olivia's forehead, watching the heavy-laden eyelids close over chocolate brown. Olivia let out a deep sleepy sigh as she let sleep take her. Alex stood there for a moment in awe, just watching. Then she began to wonder how on earth she was going to solve the problem that was the unbearable throbbing between her legs. After a few moments, she made her way into the bathroom to dry herself off. After seeing Olivia's bathrobe hanging on the hook by the door, rather invitingly I might add, she slipped it on. Afterwards, she resigned herself to bed for a while, just holding her lover.

Hours later, Olivia stirred. Memories of Alex doing wonderfully amazing things to her body came back to her in a fog. Had that been real? Olivia hardly dared to open her eyes in fear that she would once again find that it was all a dream. She found herself letting out a moan as the aches all over her body made themselves known. Ever so slightly, Olivia cracked open an eye to find the room shrouded in darkness. With her good arm she groped for a body only to find cold untouched sheets. She let out a groan of exasperation as she could only assume it had been a dream.

"Damn it," Olivia muttered, "It's official. I need to see a shrink." Olivia could feel the residual arousal from her dream in her gut. It was almost painful. Reluctantly, Olivia forced herself up and out of bed. She decided to venture to the bathroom since she was up anyways. She was limping back out of the bathroom when she heard a faint clatter coming from the kitchen. Quickly, Olivia hobbled for the offending sound, worried that someone had broken in. She was determined to steal a glance before deciding what to do. She had only one good arm at the moment, which hung helplessly at her stomach. She was halfway across the living room, when her foot kicked something and she was sent for the floor.

"Fuck!" Olivia hissed as she landed on her side, jostling her shoulder. "Son of a…!"

"Liv?" Alex came running in, a panicked expression on her features.

"Alex!" the genuine surprise in Olivia's voice had Alex's eyebrow creeping up the blonde's forehead.

"Are you okay?" Olivia could hardly speak as Alex carefully and tenderly helped her back to her feet. Alex's eyes brimmed full of worry as she found Olivia's eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked quickly, her throat suddenly dry. Her eyes raked over Alex's perfectly sculpted body. She was wearing Olivia's bathrobe, which didn't cover much. Olivia's eyes stared in awe at the seemingly endless muscular legs that were visible. The robe cut off mid-thigh. Olivia swallowed over the lump in her throat as she realized for the first time that it hadn't been a dream at all. She could vividly remember the feel of Alex's soft skin as she ran her hands over it.

"Well," Alex replied cheekily, "I kind of assumed that sex earned me an invitation to stay for the night. However, if that isn't so, I can leave."

"God, no," Olivia replied all too quickly. "I'm sorry. I… This is going to sound so stupid, but I thought that I had been dreaming."

"Really?" Alex's eyes twinkled in amusement. "And just how many dreams have you had about me doing such things?"

"Umm…" A blush appeared in Olivia's cheeks in the speed of light, "I….uh…I plead the fifth?"

"Is that a question?" Alex chuckled, a look of mischief in her eyes. Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't form a coherent thought. All she could think of was how Alex's flushed skin looked beneath the part of the robe. Alex stepped forwards, her hand gripping Olivia's hips. Olivia felt like she was dying of need as Alex whispered in her ear. "Have I really rendered the great Olivia Benson speechless?"

"You're killing me," Olivia moaned as Alex released her hold on Olivia's hips. Olivia closed her eyes as Alex guided her hand beneath the robe and slid it upwards. Alex let out a moan of her own as Olivia's fingertips brushed warm, fresh wetness.

"You feel up to finishing what we started earlier?" Alex husked, "Because I kind of have a problem that needs some fixing."

"Help me back to bed and you've got a deal," Olivia smiled. Before Alex could say another word, Olivia pulled Alex in with force, causing their bodies to connect. Alex let out a feral growl as Olivia bit down hard on her lip before forcing her tongue into Alex's mouth. Togther they rushed for the bedroom. Olivia's pajamas and Alex's robe were discarded along the way.

* * *

_**So that's part 1. I was planning on posting the two together, but opted for a split update on account of updating sooner. Hopefully you like it. I'm not very good at writing the rather smutty scenes, but I did give it a full hearted try. Let me know what you think! **_


	7. Shiver

**Title: Smoke**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

_**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! With traveling over thanksgiving, and finals, somehow I lost track of time. This picks up pretty much where I left off. Hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

"Liv," Alex begged between moans. "Just…" Olivia was still rather shocked in how vocal Alex Cabot was in bed. Somehow, she was no less controlling than she was in the courtroom, and yet, the closer the blonde got to the edge the more she was willing to surrender herself over to Olivia. She was like putty under Olivia's fingertips.

"Just what sweetie?" Olivia practically purred, licking the sensitive flesh between Alex's legs.

"So close," Alex whined. "Please…" Alex moaned again as Olivia's fingers tweaked each of Alex's nipples.

"Alex," Olivia said chastising, "You have to tell me what you want." Alex's mind went blank as Olivia's tongue thrust into her mouth. Alex felt like she might die from need.

"I want…" Alex muttered as Olivia started kissing her way back down to the blonde's shoulder. "I need…"

"What, baby?" Olivia eased up on her attack a little ways. Alex practically sobbed as she tried to direct Olivia's hands away from her breasts to the throbbing between her legs. "Tell me what you need."

"Inside me," Alex begged rather hysterically. "God, please. I need to feel you inside of me." With a wicked smirk, Olivia started running her tongue down Alex's midline. Alex's chest and stomach arched upwards seeking more pressure and contact. Alex's body quaked under her touch. Olivia placed kisses randomly until she reached the soft curls at the juncture of her legs. She nuzzled the soft blonde curls, losing herself in the aroma of the woman's arousal. Olivia's tongue darted out of her mouth and she ran it up Alex's lips. Alex cried out, her hips thrusting upwards. Olivia took Alex's swollen clit into her mouth once more and sucked gently, before running her teeth over the bundle of nerves there. Alex groped for Olivia's hair, trying to direct her touch, her pressure. Olivia pulled backwards, leaving the throbbing area to meet the cool air of Olivia's bedroom. Alex cried out again. Olivia had to be careful, due to her injured arm, but she wasn't about to let that stop her.

"Liv," Alex panted, her voice heavy under her own need. Carefully, Olivia balanced on her knees, leaning slightly to the side. With her good arm, she reached out, running her fingers, over and around the skin at Alex's opening. Alex cried out again, pleading for the penetration that she so desperately wanted. One of her hands reached for Olivia's hair, but Olivia scolded her. Not willing to be directed in what Alex wanted her to do. Olivia rewarded Alex's patience as she thrust into Alex with one sure, deep, quick thrust. Quickly, Olivia worked the blonde to the edge. Alex's head was buried back in the pillows, her hands curled into fists as she gripped the sheets beneath her. She periodically tried to grab for Olivia only, to find herself bracing for the orgasm she knew was inevitable. Olivia watched Alex, lost in her own little world. She could scarcely believe that Alex was there, that Alex felt something for her. She wanted desperately to give Alex the best possible love that she could give. Alex's stomach rose off the bed as Olivia, began rubbing Alex's clit with her thumb. When that didn't push her over the edge, Olivia pulled out completely. Alex let out a strangled cry, laced with a feeling of loss or emptiness. Olivia's mouth quickly latched onto the engorged skin above the blonde's opening. Olivia's tongue after, licking up a large pool of moisture between Alex's legs, plunged into the soft velvet.

"So close," Alex breathed, begging to be sent over the edge.

"Cum for me, Lex," Olivia pleaded. "Let go." Alex let out an earth-shattering scream as she came into Olivia's mouth with one last stroke of the brunette's skillful tongue. Olivia replaced her tongue with her fingers, trying to extend Alex's orgasm for as long as she possibly could. Olivia could hardly breath as she felt Alex's walls clench repeatedly around her fingertips. Olivia watched as Alex's eyes glazed over while she was seemingly transported to another place where Olivia and Alex existed in the same limited space. As the contractions subsided Olivia slowly pulled out of Alex, causing the blonde to gasp. Alex squeezed her eyes shut as Olivia slowly made her way up the bed, wrapping her good arm around the post coitus blonde. Alex sighed happily as she snuggled into Olivia's shoulder. Olivia's breath came out in a hiss as the blonde placed pressure over Olivia's wounded shoulder. Alex suddenly realized her error, sitting up quickly.

"You okay?" Alex's brow furrowed in worry.

"I'm fine," Olivia reassured her, pulling her back down. Alex giggled as Olivia slipped a leg over Alex's midsection so that she was straddling the blonde. "Mmm. You're so beautiful. How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"I've been wondering the same thing," Alex smiled.

"You've been wondering how on earth you stooped so low as to sleep with me?" Olivia teased. For a moment Alex merely looked horrified. Olivia laughed as Alex slugged Olivia in her good arm.

"How dare you even suggest such a thing," Alex replied, "You know exactly what I mean." Olivia felt her heart jolt a little in her chest as Alex's hand slipped up around the back of Olivia's neck, pulling the brunette down to her. Olivia moaned into the kiss. Her hips started to undulate of their own accord, moving in time to the thrusting of Alex's tongue. This time it was Alex's turn to moan. She could feel the sweltering heat and moisture on her abdomen, which turned her on all over again. All that was for her, and it felt wonderful to know that she affected Olivia that way. Alex nearly whimpered when Olivia pulled back to restore air into her lungs. Alex felt her heart pound away in her chest. She wondered if Olivia could hear it.

"So," Alex whispered, "What does this mean?" Alex took a nervous breath and edited her statement. "What I mean is… Where does this leave us?"

"That's up to you, sweetie," Olivia replied, rolling off of her and onto the mattress beside Alex. "You know I want to be with you." Then Olivia swallowed and continued, "But I realize that it's just not that simple." Olivia looked into Alex's eyes, speaking sincerely, "I don't want to hold you back, Alex, or get in the way of your aspirations. You've already been set back so much."

"Liv," Alex breathed, "Over the past few years, I've realized that work and the DA's chair doesn't mean anything to me without having someone to share it with."

"We'll keep it under wraps for now," Olivia said finally, "If the time comes when we're both comfortable in going public with our relationship then we can reevaluate then."

"And you're sure," Alex said softly, grabbing hold of Olivia's hand and giving it a squeeze, "That you're okay with that."

"Yeah," Olivia nodded. "I guess…if that means that I get to be with you, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Besides, it's not like I've always shared my personal life with the guys at the precinct." A smile graced Alex's features as she turned to face Olivia. Slowly, Olivia mirrored her actions until they were facing eachother. Alex was the first to lean forwards, she wanted, no needed to taste Olivia again. As Alex's lips parted, Olivia's tongue darted into her mouth. With a hard touch, Alex dragged her fingertips down Olivia's sides. Alex kissed Olivia harder, growing impatient. She wanted to make Olivia feel the way that the detective had made her feel only minutes ago. Alex dipped her fingers into a pool of hot, wet heat. Olivia was already so close that she knew it wouldn't take much. Unfortunately, before she could even begin, the shrill ringing of a cell phone interrupted Alex's ministrations. Alex let out a huff as she pulled away reluctantly grabbing Olivia's cell phone. She handed it to Olivia before flipping it open.

"Benson," Olivia breathed impatiently. Alex listened intently as Olivia replied.

"Oh," Olivia's voice softened a bit, "Hey, El." A beat. "You know that it's not a problem. I'm fine." Olivia swallowed. "Have you made any progress in catching Nelson?"

"No luck yet? No…it's all right. I'm sure we'll get him," Olivia spoke optimistically. She was trying to be patient. Alex watched as the muscles tightened in Olivia's temples and jaw. "You want to have dinner?" Olivia looked to Alex with questioning eyes. Alex nodded. "Sure. Yeah. We'll order in?" Olivia took a deep breath, "Okay. I'll see you when you get here. Bye, El." Olivia flipped her phone shut.

"He'll be here in a little bit," Olivia announced.

"How long is that?" Alex asked, "Because I'd like to have my wicked way with you."

"Mmm," Olivia moaned as Alex's lips found Olivia's neck. "Unfortunately I don't think we have that much time. Though, if you'd like to share another shower with me, then you're welcome to."

"Mmm. Good," Alex smirked, "I'm sure we can make it work."

Minutes later, Olivia stumbled out of the shower, she wasn't supposed to put weight on her sprained ankle, but it hadn't mattered. She was going to enjoy every minute she had with Alex while it lasted. She slipped on a shirt and some jeans, her hair still dripping wet. She had left Alex in the shower to do some actual washing. She was surprised to hear the door buzz. She walked over to it.

"That you Elliot?" Olivia asked, holding down the button.

"Yeah," Elliot replied, "Can you let me in. It's kind of cold out here." Olivia hit the button and walked towards the kitchen. She had just started some tea when a knock sounded at the door. She walked over, undid the locks, and threw it open.

"Hey," Olivia smiled, seeing the six-pack he was carrying. "Come in." As per usual, Elliot strode in like he owned the place. After all, it was home away from home. Somehow, over the course of their partnership, Olivia's apartment had become his safe haven. Every time that Kathy kicked him out, he'd crash on Olivia's couch for the night.

"Hey," Elliot said, setting the beer down on the counter. Olivia followed him into the kitchen. "You look like you're feeling better," he commented. She saw his brow furrow as they walked back out into the living room. Alex's purse sat on the table by the door.

"I am," Olivia replied quickly.

"Cabot still here?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," she insisted someone should be here to keep an eye on me. "She's in the shower." Elliot's eyebrows furrowed even further.

"Is she now?" Elliot asked rather suggestively.

"What?" Olivia asked innocently. "Get your mind out of the gutter, EL. We broke a sweat trying to make our way up to my apartment." Olivia made a point to limp a couple of steps.

"Which is why you should be using the crutches the hospital gave you," Elliot teased.

"Come on, El. You and I both know there's no way in hell I'm using those things," Olivia replied.

"Right," Elliot swallowed. "Is Alex joining us for dinner then?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied, "She's been a big help. So please get over whatever it is you feel about her."

"Hey," Elliot chastised, "I can play nice. If anything, I should be giving you a lecture and forcing you into playing nice. You're the one whom has spoken Alex's name with nothing short of venom for the last few months."

"Well," Olivia said honestly, "We're working out our issues."

"Good," Elliot nodded. Olivia swallowed as she heard Alex make a commotion in the bedroom. She figured that the blonde must have knocked something over.

"I'll be right back," Olivia said quickly, limping from the room. She walked quickly to the door, and knocked on it before opening it. What she saw next had her blushing.

"Alex, sweetie," Olivia asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Alex said throwing on a shirt from Olivia's closet, "I hope you don't mind, but I need to borrow some clothes." Olivia swallowed hard as her eyes raked up Alex's smooth legs to where Olivia's button up shirt left off on her upper thigh. "Does this look okay?"

"God, Alex," Olivia practically moaned, "You look amazing. And just for the record? You never have to ask me how you look in one of my shirts." Alex smiled rather predatorily as she sauntered over to Olivia, pulling her in for a deep kiss. Olivia moaned again as Alex ran her hand up Olivia's side. She knew she had Olivia when she said, "Does the sight of me in your shirt turn you on, Detective?" Olivia slipped her hand under Alex's shirt, feeling the flushed heat of Alex's body.

"Believe me when I say that I'd like to rip that shirt off," Olivia whispered huskily. Alex felt her body come to life under Olivia's touch, and pulled Olivia in for another hungry kiss. Olivia pulled away rather breathlessly. "Elliot's in the living room."

"I don't care," Alex panted, tugging at Olivia's shirt.

"Alex," Olivia moaned, "We can't. He's already acting suspicious enough as it is."

"Damn," Alex whined, extracting herself from Olivia. "How are we going to keep our hands off each other at work?" Alex breathed, kissing Olivia again. This time it was a chaste kiss.

"I don't know," Olivia replied honestly, "But we'll have to figure it out somehow, and fast." Olivia looked to the door, "I have to go. Elliot is going to think something is up if I don't hurry back out there."

Alex felt Olivia's hand, sliding out of her own. She tried to hold it, but reluctantly let Olivia's fingers run down her palm before the touch disappeared altogether. Olivia slipped out of the door and hastened to shut it after her. She padded down the hall, her thoughts still lingering on the blonde in her bedroom and the memories they'd already shared there. She knew she was falling hard for Alex. And as much as she was trying not to, Olivia hoped for a future full of happy similar memories.

"Everything okay?" Elliot's voice pulled her out of her reverie. Olivia shook her head slightly and smiled.

"Yeah. Everything is fine," Olivia said all too quickly. "She needed to borrow something more comfortable to wear."

"I ummm…" Elliot said holding up the menu, "I hope you don't mind but I already called and ordered. I never really ate lunch so…"

"You know it's not a problem, El," Olivia reassured him, "But I hope you made sure to order my favorite."

"Of course," Elliot said plopping down onto the couch with a beer, "What kind of partner would I be otherwise. The food should be here in about 20 minutes." Olivia plopped down next to him on the couch, snatching the beer out of his hand. He protested and tried to snatch it back, but not before Olivia stole a sip.

"Hey!" Elliot squeaked, looking rather affronted, "Get your own!" Olivia handed it back, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Can't," Olivia replied, "I'm on painkillers so drinking would be a bad idea. All I wanted was a sip." Elliot nodded, noncommittally as he started flipping through the channels. He finally settled on a football game.

"Uh uh," Olivia shook her head, snatching away the remote, "No football tonight."

"Why not?" Elliot asked, bumping shoulders with her. "We always watch the game together."

"I highly doubt Alex wants to watch football," Olivia said pointedly, "And I'm not going to make her suffer through it. We'll have to come up with something else to watch."

"What would you have us watch then?" Elliot joked. "C-Span."

"Watch it," Olivia said, shooting a glare at him. "Alex isn't anywhere near that dull. I don't think anybody is."

"What do you want to bet that I'm right?" Elliot asked.

"I'll have you know," Alex said coolly as she walked up behind them, causing them both to jump, "That I find watching C-Span absolutely tortuous. I'm a Discovery Channel girl myself. And as far as watching football goes? I wouldn't mind."

"How long have you been standing there?" Olivia asked rather bewildered. She turned around to study the blonde's expression and make sure that anything that had been said hadn't offended her. She was even more surprised to see the amused twinkle in Alex's typically unwavering blue eyes.

"Long enough to know that you two have a very peculiar relationship," Alex smiled, plopping down in-between the two of them without any reservations. "I'm not even sure how to explain it, but for some reason memories of fighting with my older brother for control of the remote during Saturday morning cartoons comes to mind." Alex shook her head, laughing. "I guess I never really understood your relationship until now."

"Glad we could give you the insight you needed," Elliot quipped. "You want a beer, Counselor?"

"Sure, why not?" Alex replied good-naturedly.

"I'll get it," Olivia offered, jumping up. "I need to make some tea for myself anyways."

Alex watched Olivia get up, struggling not to follow the brunette. She swallowed, trying to keep her composure as she felt Elliot's eyes studying her. She turned to face the television, watching two clad in different colors, battle it out on the football field.

"You a Giants fan, counselor?" Elliot asked bemusedly.

"Hell no," Alex replied, "My parents raised me better than that. I grew up in Boston. I'm a good old Patriot's fan. And for the love of God, Elliot, call me Alex outside of the preinct."

"Sorry," Elliot muttered somewhat sheepishly. "I don't mean to be impersonal. I'm just not used to seeing you outside of work."

"It's fine," Alex quickly responded, "I didn't mean it to come out that way." Alex took a deep breath. "The truth is," Alex continued, "I would like for us to be friends."

"Friends it is," Elliot smiled, offering her his hand. She shook it, meeting his gaze. "You know, I figured it was only a matter of time. The thing is, I never realized how close you were with Olivia until you went away."

"That was involuntary," Alex offered in a rebuttal.

"I know it was," Elliot replied. He cleared his throat, running a hand over his jaw. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…. Don't hurt her, Alex, and you and I will get along just fine."

Alex nodded. Elliot looked back to the television. Then he added, "Oh, and I wouldn't tell Olivia you're a Patriot's fan if I were you."

"Why not?" Alex asked, with a glint in her eyes.

"Alex is a Patriot's fan?" Olivia asked, walking back into the room. Alex winced. Olivia with a smile, handed her beer.

"Hey," Olivia sat down next to Alex, squeezing her hand, "Elliot is just messing with you. I have no problem with the Patriots."

Olivia tried to keep Alex's attention from Elliot's amused, yet baffled expression. Elliot grumbled as his phone started going off, Olivia's following suit.

"Oh come on," Olivia whined, "We're supposed to be off today."

"Must be something about the Nelson case," Elliot said flipping his phone open. "Stabler." Alex looked to Olivia as she mirrored Elliot's actions and flipped open her phone.

"Benson." Alex felt a little out of place as she listened to Elliot and Olivia's replies. "Great," Olivia muttered, flipping her phone shut.

"What is it?" Alex asked with concern.

"The officers who were sitting on Douglas lost him," Olivia said, getting up, "He's in the wind."

"How long has he been missing?" Alex asked, jumping up from the couch.

"They don't know. They checked on him hours ago," Elliot elaborated, "But he could have bailed any time after that." Elliot checked his watch.

"We need a warrant to search his apartment if we have any chance of figuring out where he's run off to," Olivia breathed.

"Getting it might be a problem since he was cleared of all charges," Alex said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "We need to find something that links him to the arson or Tracy's murder."

"Well, CSU cleared the Nelson's apartment for us," Olivia said, running a hand through her hair, "The building itself has been condemned but, they said we could have a look in from the fire escape in the morning." Olivia took a deep breath. "They've made some notes regarding the accelerant that was used."

"What about Huang?' Alex asked, "Has he talked to the kids, yet?"

"Not sure," Olivia replied, "Let me make a call." Alex watched as Olivia dialed another number, and stepped out of the room.

"She's supposed to be resting," Alex lectured.

"Alex," Elliot sighed, "You know that Olivia doesn't rest when she's working a case like this. It's been eating her apart." Alex began pacing back and forth in the living room. Olivia walked in, looking deep in thought.

"Huang hasn't spoken to them yet," Olivia, announced, "Child services wanted them to stay in protective custody with Nelson gone AWOL. The doctors who looked the kids over at the hospital says that they definitely so signs of physical and emotional trauma. Huang doesn't think they'll talk until they feel safe." Alex could see the anxiousness in Olivia's eyes. "They've been asking for Elliot."

"Look," Elliot grumbled, "I know that time is a precious commodity right now, but Liv, chances are that we're not going to get very far until morning. Besides, Cragen made it very clear that he did not want to see us until after 8 tomorrow morning."

"He's right," Alex chimed in quickly, before Olivia could protest. "I'm sure that they've alerted the authorities and that they are out there looking for him." Olivia opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Without looking at Elliot or Alex, Olivia walked over to the door and opened it.

"Evening," Olivia greeted.

"Good evening," the delivery boy replied, the bag of food in his hands, "I have a delivery here for Ms. Benson."

"What do I owe you?" Olivia asked, reaching around her back for her wallet. She pulled it out and flipped it open.

"Umm…the total is 32.56," the delivery boy replied, balancing the bag in one hand while, checking the receipt with his other. Olivia pulled out two 20's and handed him the cash before slipping her wallet back into her pocket. By the time she looked up again, he was digging for change.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Olivia said with a smile. The boy looked up with a smile and handed her the food.

"Thank you," he said gratefully. "You have a good night, maam."

"You too," Olivia replied, watching as he turned and hustled down the corridor for the elevator. Olivia shut the door behind her and walked back to the family room, setting the food on the table. Without stopping, she continued on into the kitchen to grab some plates, and then back again to find Alex and Elliot already opening the cartons.

"Man, this smells delicious," Elliot announced as he eagerly popped open a container of noodles, "I'm starving." Olivia could hardly keep from laughing as he dove in with a pair of chopsticks.

"Hey," Olivia said warningly, as he dropped some onto his lap "Try not to make a mess there, El." She couldn't help but chuckle as Elliot muttered something with his mouth full. The man was more like a teenage boy than anyone else would ever know.

"Sit," Alex said patting the cushion next to her. Olivia felt her heat beat a little faster in her chest as Alex looked at her with an expectant look on her face. It was warm and welcoming, and it made Olivia melt a little inside. "Aren't you hungry? I know for a fact that you haven't eaten much all day." Olivia swallowed and walked over, trying to seem as casual and laid back as possible. Without breathing, she sat down and grabbed a carton off the table, popping it open. She reached over and grabbed a plate, handing one to Alex before grabbing one for herself. Elliot meanwhile, continued to practically inhale the food from his own without the help of a plate of real silverware.

Steam gushed from the inside as heat met cold air. Olivia took a deep breath the distinct smell of her favorite dish. Picking up a pair of chopsticks she looked over to her side to see Alex giving herself portions of rice and whatever she had gotten. Olivia did the same. She nearly died as a moan escaped Alex's lips. Olivia's eyes darted over to see Alex stealing a taste of whatever it was in her carton. Olivia had spaced out so much that she hadn't even noticed.

"This is so good," Alex said honestly, her eyes closing as she savored the taste. "Here. You have to try some." Olivia swallowed hard over the lump in her throat as Alex, without showing any reservations, lifted her chopsticks to Olivia's lips. Olivia's lips parted and stole the food out from in-between them with her tongue. She too, couldn't help the moan that came out. Olivia tried to keep her voice even as she spoke.

"You're right," Olivia breathed, "That's really good." Elliot, who had been acting somewhat detached up until this moment looked on in confusion. The exchange itself was raising some questions in his mind. It was almost as if Olivia and Alex were too comfortable around one another. He shook his head to try and clear out that thought. No way were Alex and Olivia anything more than friends. However, his brow furrowed as he watched Alex and Olivia reach for the egg rolls at the same time. They're fingers brushed and Olivia's retracted hers all too quickly, a blush creeping up the olive skin of her neck. Olivia closed her eyes as her stomach started to stir, she hadn't realized how jittery she truly was up until that point.

"Liv," Alex's brow furrowed in worry as she watched a look pass over Olivia's face. "You okay?" Olivia swallowed, forcing a nod from herself. When her eyes finally opened she Alex was kneeling in front of her. "Are you sure?" Olivia's stomach gave another jolt, and Olivia jumped up from the couch rushing past Alex. Elliot set down the container on the table and stood up at the same time as Alex. They followed Olivia to the bathroom. Alex's jaw tightened in distress as she heard the sounds of Olivia wretching inside. Elliot stepped forwards, his hand already on the door knob before Alex's touch stopped him.

"Let me," Alex pleaded, "She took the painkiller's on an empty stomach earlier. They must have made her sick."

"I"ll be right out here if you need me," Elliot spoke softly nodding to Alex to do whatever it is she needed to do. She watched him turn away before opening the door. What she saw inside, had her heart sqeezing painfully. She dropped to her knees next to Olivia. Olivia was on her own knees, her left arm cradled against her side. Sweat was pooling on Olivia's face, and she already looked very pale.

"Oh, baby," Alex soothed as she brushed a soaked set of bangs out of Olivia's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I didn't know that you weren't feeling well."

"Neither did I," Olivia managed to choke out before another wave hit her and she was emptying more bile into the porcelain bowl. "I'm sorry. This can't be what you want to see after eating."

"Shh," Alex whispered softly. "I don't care about that. I just want you to feel better." Olivia took a deep breath, backing slowly away from the bowl, convinced she would be okay for the time being. After all, there had been nothing in her stomach to begin with. Now there was really nothing left.

"You're amazing," Olivia breathed, closing her eyes as she leaned back into Alex.

"I try," Alex smiled, taking Olivia's comment gratefully. Alex felt her heart pound against her ribcage as she wrapped her arms around Olivia. Olivia's head fell back on her shoulder, and Alex kissed her softly on the top of her head, starting to stroke her face. Olivia moaned softly at the feel of Alex's cool hands on her own.

"You're really warm sweetie," Alex said worriedly. "You sure you're alright?"

"Just tired," Olivia breathed.

"You want to move?" Alex asked softly, as she worried Olivia would be uncomfortable.

"Not yet," Olivia replied, not opening her eyes, "Just give me a minute?"

"Of course," Alex whispered, kissing the top of her head again. They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity, and yet, Alex could only feel as if it wasn't long enough. Finally, Olivia shifted, lifting her head off of Alex's shoulder. Slowly, she turned around, opening her eyes. Alex was relieved to see the depth and appreciation in Olivia's warm chocolate brown eyes.

"I have no idea what I did to deserve you," Olivia said honestly, "But thank you."

"Liv," Alex, replied just as seriously, "I really wish you wouldn't keep saying that because there's no way in hell that I'm half of the person that you're making me out to be." Olivia opened her mouth, preparing for a rebuttal but let out a sigh. Alex merely stared back, her blue eyes more expressive than usual. Olivia leaned forwards, brushing Alex's cheek gently with her fingers. Alex's hand moved up to cover Olivia's hand, slowly she brought it down and held it. Leaning forwards to kiss Olivia. Olivia thinking only about Alex and the worry of getting her sick, tried to stall her. Alex looked at her questioningly.

"I don't want you to get sick," Olivia breathed.

"I want to kiss you," Alex asserted, her eyes darting down to Olivia's lips, as her tongue slipped out to moisten her own. "I don't care about anything else."

"You sure you're still going to feel that way if you come down with something tomorrow?" Olivia asked pointedly. Alex didn't answer, but instead pressed her lips forcefully against Olivia's own. Olivia allowed it, but didn't part her lips. There was no way she was letting Alex in. Alex pulled away slowly, her eyes closed. Olivia brushed her forehead against Alex's in a declaration of affection. Alex opened her eyes and smiled. It's amazing how much can be conveyed in a simple gesture.

"Come on," Alex said, helping Olivia up from the floor. "You need more rest."

"Okay," Olivia replied, and Alex's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What? You're not going to get a fight from me. I'm too damned tired."

Once she had Olivia settled in bed, she walked back out into the living room to see Elliot flipping through various television channels.

"Liv going to be okay?" Elliot asked, turning away from the television.

"I think so," Alex replied, plopping down next to Olivia's protective older brother. "She's been through a lot today and I think that her body finally caught up with that."

"Yeah," Elliot nodded. He ran a hand over the back of his neck. "She's always a spitfire. Even when she's sick or in pain you'll be hard pressed to get her to admit to it." Elliot turned towards Alex with an expectant expression. "So tell me, Alex. What's going on?"

Alex feigned confusion, her jaw tightening before she could bring herself to respond. "What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about earlier," Elliot breathed, "Come on, you have to know exactly what I'm talking about."

"We've been trying to reconcile," Alex replied honestly. "We're trying to make it back to the sort of friendship and camaraderie we had before."

"Alex," Elliot sighed, knowing in his gut that she wasn't being completely truthful with him.

"Elliot," Alex said, loosing her reserved composure, "I'd really appreciate it if you backed off a little. You have no idea how hard it's been. Liv was one of my only friends before WPP. She was the only one in the unit that treated me with respect, as an equal." Elliot felt he had to say something.

"Alex," Elliot interrupted, "I know that we took you for granted. It always seems that you don't realize what you have until its gone. You're the best ADA we've ever had." Elliot took a deep breath. "And I'm glad that you've been mending bridges. But Liv, she's my partner, and I am not going to let her get hurt like that again."

"Like what?" Alex's brow furrowed, she bit her lip as she waited for him to answer. "I never meant to hurt her, Elliot."

"I know you didn't," Elliot replied, surprised that he was having a heart to heart with her. The fact that Alex was sticking around long enough to explain herself was earning the blonde ADA bonus points. "But here's the thing. You didn't see the look in her eyes every time she dropped the receiver into the cradle, every time she checked her cell to see if you'd called back." Elliot's voice rose a little as he added the last part. "She gave you three years worth of phone calls, Alex, and you didn't return one of them. You're lucky. If it were me? I wouldn't have given you the time of day."

"You're right," Alex breathed, running a hand over her face in distress.

"That's it?" Elliot spoke questioningly, looking angry with her for her silence.

"No," Alex replied, "Look, I'm not about to insult you by defending what I did. The only thing I can say is that I wasn't ready to see you. I had to battle my own demons first. I still am. I knew when I came back for the Connor's trial that you were getting along just fine without me."

"Alex," Elliot sighed. "We got by. But in all truth and honesty, it was no picnic."

"I'm sorry," Alex replied. "Elliot, you have no idea how much. I missed out on three years with you guys because I was a coward. There isn't much I can do to fix it except for what I'm doing." Elliot nodded.

"Look," Elliot said, standing up, "I'm done asking whether or not something is going on between the two of you. But I want you to know that you can trust me. As long as Liv is happy, that's all that matters."

"Then I assure you," Alex emphatically, "We're on the same side." Elliot walked over to his coat, slipping it over his arm.

"You sticking around?" Elliot asked. Alex suddenly realized how late it was.

"Actually," Alex said, looking around, "I should get going. I have some cases to review, and a crime scene to visit in the morning."

"You're planning on going to Nelson's apartment?" Elliot inquired, his brow furrowing.

"It's important that I see the damage," Alex replied.

"Right," Elliot swallowed, knowing that there couldn't be much to see, "Well, let me know if you need a ride." Alex watched Elliot slip out the door, and was torn with indecision. She didn't want to leave Olivia by herself, but didn't want to smother her. After finally making a decision, Alex slipped into the bedroom, changing back into her clothes. After doing so, she sat on the bed next to Olivia, rousing her slightly

"Lex?" Olivia mumbled sleepily.

"Hey," Alex said softly, "Sorry to wake you, but I thought I should let you know that I'm heading out."

"Stay," Olivia breathed turning over, her eyes blinking open.

"You need sleep," Alex whispered, brushing Olivia's cheek before giving her a kiss. "If I stay, I'll only be keeping you up. Besides…part of me is still afraid that you're going to wake up tomorrow morning and realize that all of this was a mistake."

"Never," Olivia said all too quickly, looking horrified as she sat up. "Alex, please tell me you don't really think that."

"I don't know," Alex murmured aloud. Earning a panicked response from Olivia.

"Lex," Olivia said in her low alto tone, "Look at me." Alex swallowed hard, pointedly avoiding Olivia's eyes. She gasped as Olivia's hand found it's way under her chin, and manipulated her gaze to meet her own. "I will never regret what happened. Not even if you change your mind and ask for me to leave you alone. Although, that might very well kill me."

"Would you still feel that way if I told you that Elliot's already been asking questions?" Alex breathed, "I guess he saw something tonight that he thought was peculiar."

"He's got nothing but a gut feeling," Olivia said, "And you should know, counselor, a gut feeling or even circumstantial evidence is nothing without a confession or proof."

"You're sure about this?" Alex asked again.

"Are you?" Olivia asked.

"Are we going to have an entire conversation with questions?"

"God, you're such a lawyer," Olivia muttered finally, earning a smile and a laugh from Alex. Her eyes glinted in the dim bedroom lighting.

"Okay," Alex said finally, "Enough of this. I'm sure about this, Liv. But I don't feel right about making you jump into something like this with both feet. We still have a lot we need to talk about. I need to explain some things to you."

"Alex," Olivia sighed, "I forgave you a long time ago."

"That's the problem," Alex sighed. "I owe you more than I've given you. I'm not sure whether you'll understand or not, but I don't want you to hate me for feeling like I held something back from you."

"You're right," Olivia sighed. "But I can't do this now. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if you lay it all out for me right now."

"Liv," Alex breathed, "I'm sorry." Olivia looked away, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. Alex noticed this as well. "I…I should really go. I'll see you in the morning." Alex kissed Olivia chastely on the lips. Olivia watched as Alex got up and went to the door. She opened her mouth to speak, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't get anything out. Before she knew it, silence fell over the whole apartment and she was left alone. Olivia let out a groan and dropped back on the bed. She could only hope tomorrow would be a little easier.

* * *

_**A/N: More to come soon! I promise! Please read and review! I need reviews to keep me going!**_


	8. Reasons to Love You

_**A/N: So, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Things have just been a bit crazy with me having to drive two days straight. Then I come to find out that I've left my computer charger 700 miles away at my sister's. Yeah... I know what you're thinking. Who does that? Apparently I did. Anyways, I wanted to make sure to get this up before my computer dies. The only down side is that I won't be able to post anything else until after Christmas unless I borrow someone else's computer. Luckily, this will be up to tide you guys over. Please let me know what you guys think. I have a plot all laid out so all I have to do is sit down and hash out all the other chapters (easier said than done, of course).**_

**Title: Smoke**

**Chapter: Reasons to Love You**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

* * *

Olivia thrashed awake to the sound of a shrill beeping. With a groan she found herself launched into consciousness, the incessant sound coming from her bedside table, keeping her from dropping back into the nightmare she had just been having. With a sigh, Olivia just lay still for a long moment, staring at the ceiling, her breathing heavy. And although she tried to remember what had shaken up her so much, the nightmare had already faded into the depths of Olivia's subconscious. She let out another groan, feeling as if she's hardly got any sleep at all. There was no way she'd slept deeply all the way through the night. At the very least she didn't feel like she had gotten nine hours. She shut her eyes again, lifting her good arm up to wipe at her clammy sweat stained forehead.

"Well," Olivia thought, slowly pushing herself up into a sitting position under the damp covers, "At least my fever broke." With slow, drawn out movements, Olivia climbed out of bed and slammed her hand down on the alarm clock, effectively stopping the offending noise. She stood, up stumbling and wincing as she put weight on her ankle. "Fuck," she hissed, hobbling over to her dresser. Another groan escaped her lips as she tried to move her left hand. "Well so much for that," Olivia grumbled. "Where did I put that sling?" Olivia had thrown it somewhere during the course of the night. Finally she spotted the sling laying on the floor near the foot of the bed. Olivia scooped it up in her good hand. She would need to set her shoulder after she got dressed. After all, the doctor gave her very specific orders. She wasn't happy about the situation at all, and more especially hated being told what to do. Olivia switched on the light, temporarily squeezing her eyes shut as the lights stung her eyes. What the hell was wrong with her? She was typically a morning person, but today, she couldn't help but feel like she wanted to stay in bed. Slowly her mind drifted over the events, which had transpired the day before, and she realized that she had better just suck it up and go to work. She had a feeling that it would be long day. After grabbing a suitable outfit out of her dresser, she hobbled into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Hopefully, a long shower would help put her sore body at ease.

Sure enough, the shower seemed to do wonders. Steam billowed throughout her bathroom turning it into a small sauna, which was wonderful, given the way it also helped her clear out her airways a little better than the day before. Slowly, Olivia showered and dressed. It took her longer than usual given the challenge of dressing with only one arm. By the time she was done, she was feeling much better, and looked as such. Olivia made her way into the kitchen to find her coffee had already started brewing. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to drink coffee given the state of her stomach the night before. But Olivia couldn't resist. After all, she was feeling better, and she certainly wouldn't make the same mistake of taking painkillers on an empty stomach. She jumped a little as Elliot tried to buzz himself in.

* * *

"Hey," Olivia replied cheerfully, "Come on up." A minute or two later, as Olivia was securing her boots in place, a knock sounded at the door. She whipped it open, surprised to find not one body, but two.

"Hey," Olivia swallowed as her eyes raked over Alex, who looked as perfectly put together in her winter coat and black skirt as always.

"You ready?" Elliot's voice brought her back to reality rather quickly.

"Uh…yeah," Olivia stuttered, "Let me grab my coat." Elliot followed her in, giving her a lecture about not wearing her ankle brace.

"Cut me a break, El," Slipping on her coat. She let the left shoulder just drape over it, wanting to avoid the extra pain that would come with manipulating her arm through the sleeve.

"Seriously," Elliot's eyes flashed, "Is that a heel?"

"Hardly," Olivia laughed, "Look, I promise I can move around fine in these. Besides, it's not like it's going to matter. Cragen is probably just going to stick me at a desk anyways." Olivia tried not to sound too bitter about the last part. Elliot shook his head to show that he still disapproved, but held his tongue. Silently, Elliot followed her out the door, to where Alex was still standing, looking slightly uneasy.

"Morning," Olivia said to Alex as she walked side by side with the blonde, offering up a friendly smile to show that they were going to be fine.

"Good morning," Alex breathed, letting her left hand brush against Olivia's right. Elliot was walking in front of them so he didn't seem to notice. When he turned around to make a comment, Olivia tried not to blush when Alex's hand swung closer to the blonde's side, taking away the contact. "You seem to be feeling better."

"I am," Olivia said politely, "Thank you."

"So, you're probably wondering about the occasion," Elliot said offhandedly as she shimmied into the elevator.

"Not really," Olivia replied, "I'm always happy to see you guys."

"Well," Elliot said, hitting the button for the lobby. "Cragen wants us to check out the crime scene. I thought we'd stop there on the way in and save ourselves the extra trip. Alex's presence was requested as well, so I thought we'd all ride together."

"Sounds like a plan," Olivia replied, trying not to seem overly excited.

The three walked to the car in relative silence. Alex made a comment about it being cold for the time of year. Olivia, however, didn't seem too bothered. When they got to the car, Olivia slid into the front passenger seat. Alex was more than happy to ride in the back. Olivia was surprised when Alex tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, to find Alex waving a brown bag in front of her eyes, a teasing expression, causing Olivia to smile herself. Olivia snatched it out of Alex's hands quickly. Apparently the blonde underestimated Olivia's reflexes, because it only took the detective one try.

"What's this?" Olivia asked, peering inside. Her mouth salivated a little bit as she caught a waft of what was inside. "No Way! You didn't!" the disbelief in Olivia's voice was comical. "Alex!"

"Hey!" Alex threw up her hands, "It was part of the deal. Breakfast in exchange for transport."

"What about Elliot?" Olivia asked, looking over to her partner who had a very pleased expression on his face.

"Oh, me?" he said with a proud smile, "I ate mine already."

"But…" Olivia stuttered, "How did you know about the coffee cake?"

"A little birdie might have given me some pointers," Alex said with a smile. "Now eat. That is, if you really are feeling better. Sorry. But I don't really want a repeat of last night."

Olivia reached gingerly into the bag, groaning as her fingers tore off a piece of her favorite coffee cake in the city. Alex must have made Elliot go out of their way to get it.

"Oh, sweet lord, it's still warm," Olivia made a sound in the back of her throat, as she tasted it. "Alex, you're the best ADA ever. Seriously." Alex looked quickly out the window, trying to block her cheeks from view. Just the way Olivia spoke the last bit had her heart beating a little faster.

"Glad you're happy," Alex smiled good-naturedly, "I like happy detectives." Over the course of the next few minutes, Olivia proceeded to scarf down the entire piece of coffee cake in-between licking her lips. Alex tried not to get turned on as Olivia's tongue darted out to lick her fingers clean of the crumbles. A moan nearly escaped from her lips as she momentarily flashed back to the day before, knowing first hand what that mouth was capable of.

"We're here," Elliot announced, pulling up to the curb in front of a charred brick apartment building somewhere in midtown. Alex stared at the building front with a look of trepidation on her features. Flames had clearly ravaged nearly every inch of the building. Just the thought of what Olivia and Elliot must have gone through caused her stomach to drop. She jumped out of the car just as Olivia slammed the front door, and turned around.

"So where are we heading?" Olivia asked, since the front of the building was taped off with police tape.

"Around the side," Elliot replied, shoving his hands into his pockets, "CSU is waiting for us." Alex swallowed nervously. So they really were using the fire escape. Silently she wondered how she was going to climb up while wearing heels. Luckily, when the time came Elliot was kind enough to help her up. She passed on the favor in helping Olivia, who was trying to manage pulling herself up with only one good arm. Finally, they made it up to the window outside of the Nelson's apartment. Alex could only stare inside the black smoky windows. She felt numb, seeing the devastation inside. There was nothing left.

"Alex?" Olivia asked softly. Alex didn't seem to hear her. Olivia squeezed Alex's hand softly, causing the blonde to jolt a little. "Alex? You okay?"

"Y..Yeah," Alex stuttered, straightening her coat. "Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry."

"Step inside," one of the CSU techs said, opening a window. "It's pretty cold outside."

"Are you sure it's safe?" Elliot was the first to ask.

"Yeah," he replied, scanning his clipboard, "Just watch you're step and you'll be fine. We've marked out the places where the floorboards were weakened." Alex continued to stare uneasily at the mess inside.

"Guys?" Alex's usually composed dulcet tones were slightly elevated with apprehension. "I'm not so sure about this."

"It'll be okay, Alex," Olivia said, grabbing Alex's hand. "El and I have got you. We promise." Elliot was the first in. He helped Alex in, causing Alex to have to break the contact with Olivia. Alex tried to stay absolutely calm at the loss of contact. But even though she trusted Elliot, she trusted Olivia more, and she missed the brunette's comforting touch. For the moment it took Olivia to climb in the window, Alex found herself holding her breath, not daring to take a step in any direction. She really had a bad feeling about this. The building had been condemned after all.

"Easy, counselor," Olivia chided, brushing the hair out of Alex's face. "It's okay to breath, you know?" Alex suddenly let out a bit of a nervous laugh, taking a deep breath as her cheeks turned slightly flushed from embarrassment.

"You okay?' Olivia's expression looked just as strained. Not because she was uneasy or nervous, but because it bothered her seeing Alex so uncomfortable.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. She ran a hand over her face, taking a step into what used to be the family room. "Gosh, I still can't believe that you guys were in here. This is…" Alex let her voice trail off as she realized there were no words.

"We managed to reconstruct what the apartment looked like before using the pictures Alexa posted to Facebook not too long ago," one of the techs informed them, handing them a small stack of photos. Olivia rifled through them quickly, handing them over to Alex. Alex looked stunned to see what it looked like before, and to see what little remained.

"And this is all that's left?" Alex asked aloud.

"Yep. Pretty much," the tech replied. "Now we found traces of Ethyl alcohol, throughout the apartment. You can even still smell it. Unfortunately, Ethyl alcohol is highly volatile and extremely flammable. With the accelerant, it would have only taken a few minutes for all materials in this apartment to burn into nothing. As strange as it is, there were no traces of the accelerant in either of the bedrooms. That's probably the only reason you were able to get to them in time. Frankly, I'm still surprised you two managed to get the kids out of here. The fire must have started only a couple of minutes before you got here.." Carefully, the small group made their way through the apartment. Alex was never further than an arm's length from Olivia for the purpose of the comfort that her closeness offered.

As they stepped into the bedroom, Olivia could hear Alex gag next to her. Before they could take a step further Melinda was handing them masks to put over their passageways. Olivia didn't know how the Medical examiner did it, but there she was, kneeling over Tracy's charred remains. A shiver shot up Olivia's spine as she caught sight of a body that was now completely unrecognizable. She squeezed her eyes shut at the memory of Tracy's lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. Alex could hardly breath as the tech pointed out the two locations where the girls had been kept and the cinders that were now Tracy's remains.

"Hey," Elliot was the first to speak, "You find anything?"

"Not yet," Melinda replied, not taking her eyes away from what she was doing. "Best chance I have of identifying the body will come from her dental records. As you can see, there isn't much left."

"It's amazing that there's anything left at all," Olivia breathed simply, her eyes transfixed. "There's no need to go through the trouble with her dental records other than in order to confirm her identity. Elliot and I know who she is."

"Presumably Nelson's wife," Melinda spoke knowingly.

"Yes. Her name is Tracy," Olivia offered up the first name.

"Not that Liv and I are trying to do your job for you," Elliot butted in, "But we can also offer up some insight as to the cause of death. We saw her before she was reduced to this pile of cinders. She had a single gunshot wound to the back of the head." Melinda nodded.

"That'll help," she said, jotting something down onto her clipboard. "At least now I'll know what to look for. Once I bring get her for the autopsy, I'll be able to check her lungs for carbon deposits. Depending on what I find, I may be able to prove that she was killed before the fire even started. And hopefully, I can prove that her COD was through some other means. I'm eager to rule it a homicide."

"Well," Olivia nodded, "Let us know what you find."

"I'll call as soon as I know," she said, finally looking up at the two. "For what it's worth. I'm glad you two are okay."

"Thanks," Elliot replied. "We were lucky."

"Very," she said honestly, "You took a big risk coming in here that night. You guys take care of yourselves." With that, Warner stood, collecting her things before walking out the door. Alex, throughout this whole period could not take her eyes off of the body. Sure, Alex had seen her fair share of crime scenes but even she had her limits. The more she saw, the more Alex realized how many things could have gone wrong. If Elliot of Olivia had lost consciousness, they would have never made it out. Instead, they would be ones being identified through dental records. The thought made Alex sick to her stomach.

"What is that?" Elliot said finally, looking at some sort of molten mess on the other side of the room.

"That's what is left of the radiator that you guys pulled out of the wall," the tech commented, "Why? Don't you recognize it?" he joked. Alex blanched even worse. Now she really felt ill. The awful smell in the room was making her light headed. Reality struck home when her eyes finally drifted over and saw the bent and melted metal running from the wall to the floor.

"Okay," Alex breathed, feeling slightly dizzy. "I think I've seen enough."

"Alex?" Elliot's brow furrowed as she took a step backwards and staggered. Luckily, Olivia's reflexes were just as sharp as ever. In an instant, Olivia had Alex securely around the waist.

"Whoa! You okay?" Olivia couldn't keep the worry out of her voice. "Alex?"

"I…" Alex closed her eyes, trying not to shake. "Yeah…I just could use some fresh air. The smell is making me dizzy."

"Okay," Olivia said quickly. "How about we get out of here?" She turned to Elliot, who was talking with the technician about some other piece of evidence. "Elliot, I'm going to help Alex outside while you finish the tour." Elliot nodded, watching the two as Alex practically rushed out of the room. He could see that something had really shaken her up. He wondered why she was so overwhelmed with what they had seen. It wasn't that bad, was it?

Olivia tried to slow her down. She was a little bit afraid that Alex might step somewhere unsafe. When they finally made it outside on the landing of the fire escape, Alex let out a deep breath, leaning against the wall. Olivia's jaw clenched as she studied the blonde. She wanted to comfort the blonde, but wasn't sure what to do. Thankfully, Alex made the choice for her. In a blink, Alex's hand darted out, seizing the lapels of Olivia's coat. Urgently, Alex pulled Olivia against her, burying her face in the crook of Olivia's neck.

"Whoa," Olivia was a little surprised at the urgency of the touch, the way Alex was clinging to her. Olivia quickly shifted into her protective mode. "Hey. It's okay. I've got you, Lex, I promise. Everything is fine." Alex continued to hold on tightly, breathing in Olivia's distinctive scent, reveling in it, as it grounded her again. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…It's…" Alex let out a sigh, taking another deep breath. "Sorry. I guess I just have an overactive imagination. It's just that imagining you in there while it was going on. The destruction…I…I'm sorry."

"Shh… You know that you don't have to apologize," Olivia said honestly. Alex merely buried her face further, trying to hide from her own embarrassment.

"Great," Alex breathed, "Now you probably think I'm a spaz."

"Alex, sweetie, look at me." Alex pulled away slightly, lifting her head just a little. "I don't think that at all. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it would affect you so much. But it's okay. See? I'm here. Everything is fine." Alex felt her heart jolt a little in her chest as Olivia leaned forwards, pushing into the blonde's body, as she took Alex's lips with her own. Alex took a step further into Olivia's warm body, eager to deepen it. It was a soft kiss that deepened only for a second before it was taken away. It was the only comfort that Olivia could give her. Unfortunately, they couldn't risk anything more than a brief touch.

"You two okay out here?" they jumped apart just as Elliot's head popped out of the window. He clambered onto the fire escape. "Alright, well, CSU pulled the surveillance tapes of the lobby. So today we have the wonderful task of finding out who went in and out of the building on the night the fire was set. Maybe that'll help us figure out what to do next."

"Sounds good," Olivia said sarcastically, "I'm sure I'll have lots of exciting things to do over the next two months."

"Hey," Elliot shrugged, an evil glint in his eyes, "You're the one who let the beam fall on you."

Elliot winced as a rather solid fist slugged him in the shoulder. Olivia sure packed a punch. He chuckled, making his way down the fire escape. He looked over to Alex, who was finally starting to get some color back in her cheeks. "See? She reacted that way because she knows I'm right." Alex found an elated laugh slipping from her lips as she saw the glare Olivia shot his way.

* * *

After navigating their way through a lot of inner city traffic, Elliot, Olivia and Alex finally arrived at the precinct. She was thankful for Elliot's good sense of humor, which seemed able to wipe most of her troubling thoughts away in lieu of something happier. Alex jumped a little as they entered the squad room. Instantaneously, two small shapes whizzed by her and nearly tackled the two on either side of her, accompanied by happy screams.

"Olivia!" one of the adorable girls, flew into Olivia's front, wrapping her arms around the detective. It was clear that the young girl idolized Olivia. She was a hero after all. The girl's blonde hair and blue eyes, stood out to Alex immediately. She didn't know why but she couldn't help but imagine the way Olivia would look, holding their little girl just so. Alex swallowed over the lump in her throat, trying to shake herself out of the daydream.

'Slow down a little,' Alex reprimanded herself, 'You just started seeing her for goodness sakes. You don't need to scare her off by going all in during the first week.'

"Hey sweetie," Olivia's warm tone, "It's so good to see you!" The look that took over the girl's face as brunette returned the affection very nearly had Alex melting inside. Olivia wrapped her good arm around the girl, holding her in a tight hug. Alex turned to see Elliot earning the same treatment, though he had already hefted the girl into the air effortlessly, and Elisa loved every minute of it.

"Christine," Olivia said finally as the girl loosened her grip a little bit, "I'd like you meet a very special friend of mine. This is our ADA, Alex Cabot. She puts bad guys away so that they can't hurt people any more." Alex felt her heart jump a little as the girl turned towards her, offering up a million dollar smile, showing a nice gap where she'd recently lost one of her teeth.

"Hi," she said with a flourish of her hand. Alex took a step forwards and knelt down.

"It's very nice to meet you, Christine," Alex said honestly, feeling Olivia's eyes on her. They were interrupted as George walked into the room.

"Ah," George smiled, "Good to see you've been reunited. Those two have been anxiously awaiting your arrival. They saw you coming a million miles away."

"Hi, George" Olivia greeted her colleague. "It's good to see them in such good spirits." She took him slightly aside as she asked. "Have they told you anything important?"

"I'm afraid that I haven't been able to get them to open up yet," he said in a rather hushed voice, although it was loud enough for Alex to hear. "I'm hoping now that you're here that they'll be a little more comfortable in talking with me." Olivia nodded. Quickly, she took Christine by the hand and knelt down in front of her.

"Christine," Olivia said softly. "Have you met Dr. Huang? He's a really good friend of mine."

"Yeah," she nodded excitedly, "We met yesterday."

"Good," Olivia smiled, her eyes a warm chocolate. "Well, I need you to do me a favor. It's really important that he talk to you about what happened that night in the apartment a couple nights ago. Do you think you could tell him what you remember? It'll be a big help to us, and it may help us figure out what happened to your mom."

"Will you be there?" Christine asked softly. Olivia looked to Huang who looked hesitant. She knew that it was really important that George talk with the girls one on one in order to make sure the girls were emotionally stable.

"I can't be in the room with you, but I promise I'll be right outside the whole time," Olivia said honestly. "And I promise that I'll be there in a second if you need me." The girl still looked upset by the notion. "Here," Olivia said finally, taking the girl by the hand. "Let me show you." Alex followed the group as the walked through the halls to the room George would be using. She walked into the observation room, and showed the girl the window. "See, I'll be right here. If you need me, I can be in there in a second."

"Okay," the girl finally nodded, her little head bobbing up and down. "Can I play with the toys?" she asked, oogling the things she saw inside. This made Alex smile.

"Anything you want!" Olivia replied.

"Cool!" Christine smiled. "All of my things got ruined in the fire." Alex watched something flash through Olivia's eyes. The woman who she knew to be the epitome of strong was suddenly very emotional. She could see the depth of sadness in Olivia's eyes. Just as suddenly as it came, however, Olivia was concealing it all, locking away that part of herself. "You can tell George I'm ready," Christine said, looking up at Olivia with the same amount of adoration as before.

"That's my girl," Olivia said ruffling the girl's hair, "You're so brave!" The girl gave her a smile and waltzed into the room, starting to play with the various toys scattered around the room

"Liv," George looked on with nothing short of admiration, "What's the word?"

"She should be ready to talk to you now," Olivia replied, fiddling with her hands.

"Oh good! Thanks. I owe you one."

"Not a problem. You were right. She just needs to feel safe," Olivia said, watching Christine intently. "She needs to know that someone cares. As far as she's concerned. She's lost everything. Her mother, the one person who truly loved her, is gone. And so is everything that she's known." George nodded and walked into the room. Alex and Olivia looked on side by side as she started asking her questions in order to discern Christine's emotional state.

"It still amazes me," Alex said finally, breaking the silence, "How good you are with victims. And kids. I mean, God Liv, kids love you." Olivia's eyes finally looked away from the glass and into crystalline blue eyes. Olivia could see the sincerity, the love in them, and she wanted nothing more than to touch Alex, to kiss her, but she held herself back. They both did.

"The truth is," Olivia replied honestly, "It amazes me too. It's always been a mystery to me as to why they react to me the way they do. That's the beauty of their ability to love so unconditionally."

Finally, Alex asked the question she had been pondering for years. "Do you want kids? I mean…have you thought about having any?"

"Of course," Olivia replied, not holding anything back. "I've wanted them for a long time"

"Then why haven't you tried?" Alex asked nervously.

"Well," Olivia swallowed, "I guess I just never found the right person to start a family with. I mean…Before I knew it, too much time had slipped by for me to do it naturally. And I…uh…I also contemplated adoption."

"And?" Alex inquired, wanting Olivia to continue.

"I applied last year."

"What happened?" Alex inquired anxiously, wondering why Olivia still had noone.

"They," Olivia swallowed, a pang of pain and disappointed flashing across her features. It did not go unnoticed by the blonde. "kindly declined. I guess I'm not exactly the type of person they feel would be a responsible parent. I mean…I work crazy hours. I'm single. And I have no experience in parenting."

"So what! That's crazy," Alex looked severely upset, "Anyone who knows you, knows that you'd be the best mother any child could ever ask for. They have no idea what they've turned down."

"Alex," the name was barely a whisper on the brunette's lips, "Thank you for saying that. That means a lot to me."

"It's the truth," Alex said with surprising conviction. She gave Olivia a smile as she reached out and gave the detective's hand a squeeze. Olivia closed her eyes, wishing to prolong this moment. Unfortunately, they were broken out of their reverie as the girl started crying in the middle of telling George about her mother's murder. Olivia rushed inside as the girl called for her and began to console the young girl, trying to get her back to a place where she could finally disclose the truth about what happened to her mother.

"So you said that your dad hit her," George repeated. "What else did he do?"

"He yelled at her," Christine choked out through tears, "He said that she was going to ruin our family. That she had broken his trust and that she had to be punished."

"What did your mom say?" Olivia asked.

"She said that she was leaving, and that she was taking us with her," Christine sobbed.

"Then dad said that she wasn't going anywhere and he pulled out the pistol from his back pocket," Christine recalled through more tears, Olivia draped her arm around the girl and squeezed so that she would feel safe. "He aimed it at her and said she wasn't taking us anywhere. Mom turned to grab Elisa and the gun went off."

"What happened after that?" George asked.

"He kicked her to make sure she wasn't going to get up," Christine cried, "Then he cuffed us to the radiator and told us that he would come back for us. He told us that he was sorry but mom had betrayed our family and had to be punished."

"When you say betrayed," George asked, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Christine cried, "Something about mom seeing a police man. She said that she knew his secret and that he wasn't going to get away with it."

"Your mom wanted to tell us about something he did?" Olivia asked. Christina nodded.

"Why didn't he come back for us? Christine questioned, uncomprehending his motives. "We waited for him to come back for hours but he never came back. We fell asleep. Next thing we know, there was smoke everywhere and we couldn't breath. Then you guys came.."

* * *

When the interview was finished, Olivia finally emerged. Looking distraught in her own way. Olivia hid her feelings well, and it was only now that Alex was starting to see what lay beneath the composed detective. This case was hitting the brunette really hard. George walked out of the room.

"Well, Christine is extremely astute in some regards concerning her mother's murder," George said happily, "and yet, she is ignorant in others. She doesn't understand her father's motive."

"Because she doesn't know the truth about the type of man her father is," Olivia groaned. "Can you use any of that in court?" Olivia asked Alex.

"Yes," Alex replied. "Even though she doesn't understand the motive, she knows what her father did is wrong."

"Does she?" Olivia asked, running a hand through her hair. "Because to me it sounded like she doesn't hold anything against him. Except for the fact that he didn't come back for them."

"Which was a lie," Alex cut in. "Any adult capable of logic though can conclude that he had no intention of going back for them and left them for dead."

"Okay. Say that's true. But what about emotional stability," Olivia sighed, "I don't know if you saw what I was seeing. But there is no way she's fit to stand in front of a jury and talk about her mother being shot in front of her. And frankly, Christine is only six. She's on the borderline to begin with, and yet, she's our only shot. Elisa definitely couldn't do it. She's only four."

"Relax, Olivia," George said softly, seeing the lines of distress on her face. "Let's take one thing at a time, shall we?" Olivia took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "You're right. Christine may not be fit to testify in her current state. However, there are ways to amend that. As long as we put in a good effort, we can get her ready for her day in court. Right now, we've got what we've got. She understands the difference between a truth and lie, which is important. And she can describe what she saw. Those two things alone will be invaluable."

"He's right," Alex chimed in. "She was able to describe it clearly, Liv. If we can get Elisa to corroborate her story at all then we have what we need. And we'll have plenty of time to prepare her for trial. I mean we haven't even found her dad yet. Or the evidence that will confirm her story."

"Sorry," Olivia muttered, pacing anxiously, "I just…"

"I know," Alex replied, cutting her off. "I do too." Olivia let out another sigh, meeting Alex's eyes, which in fact told her that Alex completely understood.

"Okay," Olivia swallowed, "Well, I guess I should get to work on those surveillance tapes." She turned to George, "You going to take the girl's back?"

"Yeah," George replied. "I'll give you the address later. I'm sure they'd love for you to go visit them tonight." Olivia nodded. Alex watched as Olivia gave her one last look and departed. With a sigh, Alex stared after her. It was killing her to see Olivia taking the case so hard. She'd seen it before, of course, but now she felt the detective's pain on a much different level. After all, they were closer than they ever have been before.

Alex reluctantly departed the precinct for her office. After all, she had nearly a dozen other cases that warranted her attention. They had already been delayed a day since she had taken yesterday off. And although she wanted to devote her time to this particular case there wasn't anything more she could do at the moment. She spent most of the morning sorting through files, and drafting closing arguments for another case that was currently going on in court. Every so often, Alex found a sigh escaping from her lips as she kneaded at the dull throb in her temples. She wanted to do something for Olivia, something that would help the brunette feel a little better. At about one, Alex impulsively decided she was going to go and see if Olivia wanted to do lunch.

* * *

Unfortunately, when she got to the precinct, Olivia was nowhere in sight. She saw Elliot scribbling furiously on a DD5, looking stressed and annoyed.

"Hey," Alex greeted rather apprehensively. She watched as Elliot dropped the pen on the desk and sat up, straightening his back out.

"Hey," Elliot replied as he stretched out his arms, grunting in the process.

"Where has Liv run off to?" Alex asked, perching herself on the side of Olivia's desk.

"Good question," Elliot replied, looking at the blonde. "She didn't really say. She said that she had to run an errand and that she'd be back in a little bit with lunch. That was about 35 minutes ago..."

"Darn," Alex sighed, shaking her head, "I was hoping I could treat you guys to lunch."

"After breakfast?" Elliot asked seemingly bemused. "Wow, I don't know what we did to get into your good graces, but I like it."

"Don't get too excited, Stabler," Alex chided with twinkling eyes, "I'm sure you'll do something to piss me off soon, and then this will all be but a distant memory."

"Uh huh," Elliot chuckled. "Looking forward to that." Alex looked up just in time to see Olivia pushing her way through the doors, armed with several bags. Her eyes were trained on the floor. Uncurling one finger she dropped one bag onto Elliot's desk. "That was quick," he commented happily, opening the bag and pulling out his sandwich. Alex pushed herself forwards off the edge of Olivia's desk. Olivia still not seeing her, nearly ran into the blonde. Luckily, Alex threw out her arms and prevented the full brunt of the collision.

"What the…Alex?" Olivia's voice changed in heartbeat. "Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

"It's fine," Alex replied, hastily reaching down to relieve Olivia of the bags. "Here. Let me." Alex recognized the name on the bag. "What did you get?"

"Nothing," Olivia said, looking away. Alex took the liberty of peaking inside one of them.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me," Alex spoke, her eyebrows rising up on her forehead.

"I just… had to do something. I thought they might like a couple of things," Olivia blushed, looking at the floor again. Alex finally understood, peering into one of the bags. She pulled out a small doll. It was beautiful. It looked much like Christine, with twinkling blue eyes and delicate features.

"It's beautiful," Alex breathed. "Liv, they'll love it."

"You think?" Olivia asked anxiously, dropping down into her chair. "I've never really shopped for toys before." Alex forced her way into Olivia's gaze. She offered a brilliant smile.

"Trust me on this," Alex assured her. "My nieces would be insanely jealous. There's no way that the girls wouldn't like them."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled. "Would you like to come with me tonight when I deliver them?"

"I'd love to," Alex nodded. "Hey. I'll do you one better. After we visit with the girls, I'm taking you to dinner."

"Dinner?" Olivia asked in surprise. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"I think the question is, what haven't you done?" Alex replied. "Okay. Well, I've got to get back to work. I'll meet you here at five. Then we can catch a cab."

"You sure?" Olivia asked nervously, "Look, you don't have to go through all the trouble, Alex. I mean I appreciate it but…"

"Nonsense," Alex said, cutting her off. "I'm taking you to dinner and that's final. End of discussion."

"I suppose that means I'm not invited?" Elliot teased, earning a faint blush from Alex. She had completely forgotten that he was right there.

"Another time perhaps?" Alex asked. Elliot nodded.

"I was just joking anyways," Elliot spoke, "I'm pretty sure Kathy demanded my presence at dinner tonight. You guys have fun."

"Okay," Alex smiled. "So I'll see you at five?" Before Olivia could protest Alex was hustling away, like there was a fire behind her. Olivia let out a groan as she caught the mischievous look in Elliot's eyes.

"Don't you even," Olivia threatened.

"What?" Elliot asked innocently, wriggling his eyebrows.

"I'm not going to bother to answer that question," Olivia said finally. "I know what you're thinking. So just do me a favor and cut it out. Whatever you think, it's not happeing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Elliot replied, although he knew she was right. He was thinking about how much closer Olivia and Alex seemed to be. He didn't know when exactly the change in their demeanor took place, but he was pretty sure that something had happened between the detective and the ADA.

"I need to get back to watching those videos," Olivia murmured, standing up.

"I'm sure you do," Elliot called after her, he swore he could see a distinctive reddish tint making its way up her neck as she turned away. "Hey. You can deny it all you want, but you're blushing, Liv. So tell me…what's got your panties in a twist?" He chuckled as that comment earned him the finger. "Thanks for lunch," he yelled finally, after taking a bite of his sandwich. Boy was this going to be interesting.

* * *

_**A/N: So I hope you guys like! Please read and review! I will try to post the update as soon as I can. I promise. I'm looking into borrowing a friend's charger since he has a compatible computer, but I don't know for sure if it will work. Please please review. And let me know if you want to see any specific situations, or if you have any special things you'd like to insert into the story. I just might do it!**_

Merry Christmas everyone! i'm finally feeling the sprit of the season. I suppose it helps to see snow on the ground and Christmas lights everywhere! :)


	9. Hold You in My Arms

_**A/N: So I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. I've been sick as a dog the past week, i even missed out on New Year's. Anyways...the good news is that I have a super long update for you. I went with the dinner and beyond update instead of jumping forwards in time. The date isn't blissful as you might expect, but people seem to forget that managing a relationship and a job is pretty difficult, especially when you're on call 24-7. With that being said there is plenty of fluff as well. I really hope you enjoy. I'll try to update soon! Thanks for reading, guys! Please keep reviewing and giving me pointers as well! Oh...And happy New Year! Cheers!**_

**Title: Smoke**

**Chapter: Hold You In My Arms**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

**_As promised, I told you I'd warn you about chapters that contain sexual content...so yeah...this chapter is in fact rated M, and there is some sexual content. So if you don't want to read, please skip the end._**

* * *

Olivia found that she couldn't resist looking around as they entered one of New York's finest four-star restaurants. Slowly, her eyes raked over every detail. As a cop, it was something she did every time she found herself in a new place. It was second nature for her, a protective instinct at work. She looked at people themselves, details, and most importantly exits. She even made a game out of it, trying to memorize everything she could cram into her mind in a single glance. Olivia ran a hand over the back of her neck as she realized that nearly every table in the place was full. It wasn't a problem necessarily, but as Olivia took in the attire of nearly everyone else in the room, Olivia felt extremely underdressed. They were all wearing very formal clothing, as if they had to make a statement of their wealth and prestige. Needless to say, they had money and they weren't afraid to flaunt it. Olivia looked down to her coat and shoes. The coat was old and had several tears in it. It was worn, particularly at the shoulders and the elbows. Yeah, she was completely out of place. Olivia let out an inward groan, trying to avoid Alex's gaze. She felt embarrassed, fearing that she would draw unwanted attention. Her self esteem seemed to take a hit just through standing next to the stunningly beautiful blonde next to her. Unfortunately, when Alex had mentioned taking her out to dinner, Olivia hadn't imagined it would be something quite so nice. Olivia eyes drifted to the fountain in the middle of the floor, swallowing roughly over the lump in her throat. She doubted that she could have felt any more out of place had she actually tried. After a while, Olivia found herself trying to find other distractions, letting her mind wander. Olivia let her eyes drift over a young couple in the corner, and a smile slipped its way onto her features. Oh how sweet it was to be young and in love.

It wasn't that Olivia didn't want to spend time with Alex, but she had expected a small dinner before heading back to one of their places for drinks, and some good quality alone time. Olivia couldn't help but feel exhausted. Their visit with the young girls had worn her out. Of course, Olivia should have known better. Christine and Elisa had loved the toys, and somehow they had coaxed Olivia into playing along with them.

"Right this way Ms. Cabot," the maitre d' instructed. Olivia shifted from one foot to the other, as she anxiously fidgeted with her hands. Olivia jumped slightly as a warm hand grasped one of her own and tugged. Olivia looked over to Alex, who although she wasn't in a dress herself, still looked immaculate enough to fit in. Olivia let Alex lead her through the restaurant by hand. Olivia concentrated on the butterflies suddenly swarming into her stomach at the feeling of Alex's warm hand holding hers. It was amazing how one touch of the blonde, one lingering look could have her heart threatening to burst its way out of her ribcage. Finally, after weaving their way through tables on the floor, came to their table on the other side of the room.

"Here you are," the Maitre d spoke again. "You're server will be right with you."

"Thanks, Giovanni," Alex smiled. "I really owe you one."

"Anytime, Ms. Cabot," Giovanni smiled, "You two have a wonderful evening." Alex nodded, bidding him with a farewell smile. Olivia pulled her hand out of Alex's so that she could pull back the blonde's chair. Alex looked at Olivia with arched eyebrows.

"What?" Olivia asked innocently her heart still beating erratically, "I can't pull out your chair for you?" Alex felt a blush creep up her cheeks and sat down. Slowly, Olivia walked around to the other side of the small table that was designed for two, and sat down. She made the mistake of looking down at the tablecloth. Uneasily, Olivia shifted in her chair. Seriously, who needed 3 glasses, 4 different spoons and 2 forks for a single meal? Olivia had a feeling that she was in way over her head.

"Thanks," Alex said finally. "Whoever it was that said that chivalry is dead must not have met you. You got the door and pulled out my chair for me. I guess I'm just lucky that I've gotten the most chivalrous person in New York to go on a date with me." Alex tried to make small talk. She frowned when she realized that the brunette was currently in some far off place, looking out of the window to her right. The view from where they were was spectacular, and yet, Olivia looked as if she was being tortured. It was likely that Olivia was lost in her own thoughts. "Liv?" Alex tried softly. "Liv? Earth to Liv…" Olivia jumped again as Alex's hand reached out to touch the one laid over the tablecloth. "Hey," Alex smiled softly, "You still with me over there?"

"Yeah…I…Yeah," Olivia stuttered, causing Alex to chuckle a little bit. "Sorry. I was just admiring the view."

"It is nice, isn't it?" Alex agreed. "You have no idea how hard it was to get a table on such short notice. Thank goodness for Giovanni. I really owe him for this." Alex let out another defeated sigh as she realized she had lost Olivia about halfway through her miniature speech. "Liv," Alex groaned, "Am I boring you that much?"

"What?" Olivia asked, looking back into Alex's soft blue eyes, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry," Liv choked out, shaking her head, "I'm just having a really hard time concentrating tonight. What were you saying?" Alex let out a frustrated sigh, kneading her temples softly with her fingers.

Alex took a look around the restaurant, and then shifted her gaze back to Olivia. Suddenly she realized her error as she caught Olivia running her fingers subconsciously over a small rip in the sleeve of her leather jacket. She should have known better than to bring Olivia to a place like this. Somehow, wanting to treat Olivia a nice dinner had become something more. For some reason Alex had felt the need to impress Olivia. In all her desperation to impress the brunette, she had forgotten that Olivia had always been the kind of person to like things simple. And more importantly, she had forgotten that Olivia loved her for her, and not because she had a trust fund large enough make anyone's head spin. Alex squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment, trying to discern how to fix this situation. When she opened them she found Olivia tapping her fingers on the tablecloth, a frown prominent on her features.

"You okay?" Alex spoke softly.

"Yeah," Olivia replied a little too enthusiastically, her expression attempting to conceal the truth. "Fine."

"You sure?" Alex's jaw clenched slightly, "Because you seem kind of distracted. I mean… You've been like this all night."

"Alex," Olivia sighed. "I'm sorry. I know that I'm not being fair. It's just…I can't seem to pull myself together tonight." Olivia groaned, dropping her head slightly. "I don't know why, but I'm having a really hard time coping." Olivia paused for a deep breath. Alex watched as Olivia reached up to her hair, running her fingers through the short locks and pulling gently. This was a true sign Olivia was distressed.

"You mean the case?' Alex asked sympathetically.

"Yeah," Olivia breathed, her jaw clenching, "Those girls lost everything, Lex. Christine and Elisa might be lucky enough to make it through all of this semi-unscathed, but I can't imagine Alexa will ever be the same." Olivia paused again, Alex could see the anguish in Olivia's eyes and knew that it killed Olivia to be unable to fix it. "I….I'm supposed to talk with Alexa tomorrow, and I have no idea how I'm going to handle it. Fin already got her statement while she was in the hospital, but he feels like she held back some of what happened." Olivia looked at Alex for a brief moment before realizing what she was doing. "I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be talking about work. We're supposed to be on a date."

"Liv," Alex smiled reassuringly, "Hey. It's okay. I'm glad you're opening up to me. That's was the point of tonight. I wanted you to relax a little, even if it's just for tonight. I really want you to have a good time, but I realize that getting some things off of your chest is important too." Alex's eyes were soft as she held Olivia's gaze. For the brunette's own benefit, she added, "Liv, you don't have to keep everything inside, you know? I mean...it's okay to talk about stuff that's bothering you."

"Is that just a nice way of trying to tell me that I look like crap," Olivia joked.

"No," Alex replied honestly, "Of course not. What I'm trying to say is that I'm perceptive enough to know that we're all having a hard time with this one."

"Ugh," Olivia sighed, "I just can't seem to let this go. I just want to know how I missed it? The real rapist was right in front of me the whole time, and we went after the wrong guy. Now…Tracy's dead. And those girls… If I had just figured it out sooner, Tracy might still be alive." Olivia groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Liv," Alex interjected, "You can't blame yourself for that. You just said it yourself. _We_ went after the wrong guy. Not just you, but all of us."

"Thanks," Olivia said gratefully, "But unfortunately that isn't going to make the guilt I'm feeling go away." Alex reached across the table and gave Olivia's hand another squeeze. She wished that she could just sit down next to Olivia on the other side of the table and hold her, but knew that would only earn them a lot of unwanted attention.

"Is this too much?" Alex asked finally. "Would you rather we go somewhere more private?" Part of Alex wished that she had just had Olivia over to her apartment.

"No," Olivia replied, "It's okay." Olivia cleared her throat. "I'm done talking about work, I promise. Let's just forget about work and try to have a good time. I can't do anything about it right now, anyways." Olivia allowed for a pause. "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not enjoying myself, Lex, because I really am. I guess I'm just a bit more tired than I thought. It's been a long day."

"I can understand that," Alex replied. They were interrupted as a waiter came by.

"Good evening," he smiled, "What can I get you two beautiful ladies tonight?"

"I'd like a bottle of your finest chardonnay," Alex replied quickly scanning the menu. Olivia watched as Alex placed her order in French and looked to her with an expectant expression.

"Just the house salad for me, please" Olivia spoke while quickly scanning the menu. Sure enough, most of the entrees were way above her pay grade. Plus, she wasn't really that hungry anyways.

"What dressing would you like with that?" he asked.

"Just the raspberry vinaigrette," Olivia replied. Olivia looked puzzled as he continued to look at her as if he expected her to add something more to her order.

Finally, he gave up on her and asked. "Would you like anything else?"

"Oh no. That's it for me, thank you," Olivia said, handing him the menu.

"Liv, are you sure?" Alex looked equally displeased. "Is that really all you want?"

"I'm really not that hungry," Olivia lied. "I had a big lunch." Also a lie.

"Uh huh," Alex spoke disbelievingly. "And why don't I believe you?" Olivia felt her cheeks start to burn slightly as Alex turned to the waiter and ordered something else, seeing right through her. It was moments like this that Olivia was grateful for Alex.

"Okay," he nodded, "I'll put your orders in and I'll be right back with your wine."

"Thank you," Alex swallowed. Olivia sighed, looking down at the floor. The hand that still held hers gave a little squeeze.

"I really wish you hadn't done that," Olivia mumbled quietly.

"Liv," Alex sighed. "The whole point of tonight was that I wanted to treat you to a nice dinner. At the very least, you've earned it. Please just humor me?"

"Okay," Olivia smiled in a good-natured manner. "But I still don't think I deserve it," Olivia smiled weakly.

"Yes you do," Alex argued. Olivia's rather suddenly shy demeanor sent Olivia's eyes wandering as a blush appeared on her cheeks.

"I guess I'll just have to treat you to dinner next time and we'll call it even," Olivia said finally, her deep brown eyes meeting Alex's. The air was briefly stolen from the blonde's lungs as she looked into what could have easily been molten chocolate in the dim lighting.

"So there's going to be a next time, is there?" Alex replied teasingly.

"Well," Olivia played along, "If I haven't already ruined every chance of a second date, then maybe. I guess you'll have to decide." Alex opened her mouth for a rebuttal, and then groaned as Olivia's phone started going off in her pocket.

"No," Alex said grumpily as Olivia released her hand in favor of searching for her phone. Fumbling slightly, she pulled it out of her pocket. "Don't answer it, Liv. i'm not sharing you with anyone tonight."

"Alex," Olivia sighed, holding the thin razor flip-phone in her hand. The display told her it was Elliot calling. "I'm sorry, but I have to. It's Elliot." Alex bit her lip and looked away as Olivia flipped it open.

"Benson," Olivia answered just as reluctantly, "This better be good." Alex heard Olivia sigh as Elliot's voice returned her greeting, explaining why it was he was calling. "You sure?" Olivia's brow furrowed. "And it has to be tonight?" Alex heard Olivia cuss under breath. "Why can't you just ask Fin to go with you? I mean…I'm not even supposed to be on anything other then desk duty, El." Olivia muttered with frustration. "What? Cragen cleared it?" Olivia rubbed at the back of her neck. "Okay. Fine." Olivia swallowed, "No. I'm not at home, El. I'm at dinner with Alex right now." Olivia let out a sorry groan. "Yeah. Talk about bad timing…" Olivia looked to Alex who looked about as frustrated as Olivia. "I'll catch a cab. Yeah. See you soon. Bye." Olivia flipped her phone shut, and set it on the table, leaning back in her chair. Olivia winced, as Alex, who already knew what was coming looked away, pushed herself back in her chair so that she was unreachable. Olivia pulled back as well, though it was in response to the feeling of rejection and coldness that was now rolling off the blonde in waves. Olivia clenched her jaw as she raised her good hand to run it roughly through her hair. Alex watched Olivia as the brunette tried to find a way to make the situation less painful, dreading the next words she knew were going to come out of Olivia's mouth.

"I have to go," Olivia said finally in a rush of air, dropping her free hand onto the table in front of her defeatedly, after slipping her phone back in to her pocket.

"No," Alex voiced in a groan, "Come on, Liv. This is our first real date."

"I…I know," Olivia looked distraught. It wasn't easy for her to do this. She had done in dozens of other times to poor unsuspecting men, but never to someone she genuinely cared about.

"Alex," Olivia pleaded. "I can't help it…I'm sorry." Olivia sighed, "Authorities just tagged Douglas when he tried to make his way through customs, and they're holding him for us. Elliot and I are supposed to go get him and bring him back here, so that Elliot and Fin can interrogate him."

"Why?" Alex asked, "We can't charge him with anything."

"Actually, we might," Olivia muttered softly, trying not to be condescending, "When we were scanning the tapes from Nelson's apartment building, Douglas showed up on one of the tapes. We're waiting for DNA results from the fluids we found in Alexa during her rape kit."

"Why didn't I know about that?" Alex said unhappily, displeased that she had been kept out of the loop.

"I…I don't know," Olivia shook her head. "I promise that it wasn't on purpose."

"So you really have to go?" Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair. Olivia could see Alex's jaw tightening as the blonde tried not to show too much emotion.

"I do," Olivia breathed. "I'm really sorry, Lex." Olivia studied Alex's expression uneasily. Alex was doing a good job in hiding her emotions, but Olivia knew her well enough to see the hurt in the blonde's icy blue eyes. Alex didn't look the least bit happy. "Please forgive me," Olivia sighed, pushing back her chair as Alex continued to act distant. "This is precisely why I've never had a relationship that's lasted more than a few weeks," Olivia remarked cynically. "I'll understand if you don't want that second date." Olivia stood up. "I'll umm…call you if you want. It'll probably be pretty late."

"Whatever you want, Liv," Alex said softly, which pulled on Olivia's heartstrings even more. "Have a safe trip."

"Yeah…" Olivia muttered uneasily. "I'm really sorry, Alex." Olivia apologized for what was probably the tenth time that night. Alex nodded as if she understood, but didn't seem to fully accept the apology. Awkwardly, Olivia dropped some money on the table, and with one last glance back at Alex that left her heart squeezing painfully, Olivia hurried away from the table.

The walk out of the restaurant was easily one of the longest of Olivia's life she could feel people's eyes on her, probably wondering what an ordinary civil servant is doing at a five star restaurant. Once she shoved her way out of the main doors, Olivia thought about slamming her head against the brick wall outside, convinced that it would hurt less than the pain of leaving Alex like that. Slowly, she made her way to the street. Minutes ticked by.

Olivia groaned as she stood outside in the cold, still trying to hail a damn taxi. She was so immensely frustrated that she felt helpless. It seemed that nothing in her life was sacred. The fact was that her job was her life. For years, she'd learned to accept it and had no issues with it. But now, now that she had finally found someone she not only wanted in her personal life, but wanted to spend every possible moment with, her job was a huge nuisance and an obstacle to her happiness.

"God, why is it that I always have to screw things up?" Olivia asked herself in a frustrated moan, running her fingers roughly through her hair. The small cloud of moisture from her breath contrasted against the cool air outside and dissipated from a small cloud of white into nothing.

"Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?" Alex voiced from behind her, causing Olivia to jump and wince at the same time, "Or can I answer that?" Olivia felt the underlying sarcasm in those words as she turned around to catch Alex looking at her with twinkling blue eyes. Suddenly, Olivia's heart calmed a little. Somehow the look in Alex's eyes took away from her anguish instead of adding to it. Olivia swallowed, staring down at the concrete for a long moment, before her eyes flicked back upwards to meet Alex's again. Olivia let out another sigh as Alex pulled her iphone and started typing something on its face. Olivia winced again. With her luck the blonde was probably posting something about their god awful date to facebook or twitter.

Just as suddenly, Alex looked away from the screen, and stuffed the device in her coat pocket. Without pause, like a true New Yorker, she threw up her hand into the air. The other hand, Alex brought to her lips, and with the help of her forefinger and middle finger, emitted a high pitched whistle. Olivia felt surprised and equally frustrated, when almost immediately a cab appeared, slowly merging over a couple lanes of traffic.

"Feel free to answer the question if you'd like," Olivia breathed, walking for the curb, "I think I'd deserve it since I've obviously ruined our date beyond repair…" Alex watched as a taxi pulled over to the curb.

"Oh, Liv," Alex took a step forwards, then another, and another. She moved deliberately. Her goal was clear. "I'll admit that it sucks that you have to leave." Olivia swallowed painfully as Alex cut off her escape. Carefully, Alex lifted both of her hands and placed them on Olivia's shoulders so that the detective had to look her straight in the eye. "Hey. I'll even admit that this isn't the best date I've ever been on." Olivia opened her mouth to protest, but Alex didn't let her get a word out edgewise. Olivia closed her mouth as Alex removed her right hand from Olivia's shoulder and put it to Olivia's soft lips. "Wait a second...I need you to hear me out." Olivia nodded, and Alex smiled, brushing her forehead against Olivia's. They were so close that Olivia could feel the warmth of Alex's breath mingling with her own. Suddenly, Olivia realized what was happening. Alex wasn't here to rub it in at all, but rather Alex was trying to make what would otherwise be a miserable situation a little better, through showing that there weren't any hard feelings.

"However," Alex added quickly in an intimate whisper. She continued with a look of complete sincerity as she nuzzled Olivia's cheek softly, "I should probably mention that it wasn't the worst either...not even close."

"Good to know," Olivia said with a small smile, as Alex pulled away slightly, giving Olivia more space. Olivia was more grateful for Alex's kindness than the blonde would ever know.

"I know that it isn't your fault," Alex breathed, "And I'm sorry that I was short with you in the restaurant, it's just…" Alex looked frustrated as she searched for the appropriate words, "I had all these plans for tonight. I know that we've just started dating, and I don't want to be overbearing…but at the same time, I want to spend as much time with you as possible." Olivia reached up and brushed Alex's cheek with her palm.

"I feel exactly the same way," Olivia replied honestly. Olivia let out a sigh, retracting her hand from Alex's cheek. The blonde, however, stopped Olivia and reached for Olivia's hand, twining their fingers together. "This is going to be really hard."

"How so?"

"Alex, I've been an SVU detective for as long as I can remember, and I've never had a relationship that's lasted longer than a few weeks…" Olivia said quietly. Olivia's jaw tensed as she tried to accurately describe her feelings. "The truth is, over the years my job has become my life. I no longer have any such thing as a personal life. And it never mattered because I never found someone who I could see myself staying with long term…" Olivia swallowed painfully. "But now I'm scared because I finally have everything I've ever wanted, someone I truly care about, and I still can't control this aspect of my life."

"You're afraid that I won't stick around?" Alex's brow furrowed.

"Everyone else leaves," Olivia breathed. "They either get sick of me having to cancel on them all the time, or they are far too interested in what I do."

"Liv," Alex spoke softly, "I'm not going to leave you just because you have to cancel on me a few times. You know I understand how demanding your job is." Alex could see the apprehension still evident in Olivia's eyes. "Just as long as I get to be with you, then I'll find a way to deal." Alex saw Olivia looking more upset than before. "Hey," Alex said with her finger under her chin, "Look at me, Liv. I need you to believe me. I love you too much to let the inconvenience of your schedule push me away." Olivia nodded.

"I'm sorry about tonight," Olivia said again.

"Tonight… wasn't your fault. And I know the date kind of crashed and burned, but as far as I'm concerned, it can still be salvaged." Olivia looked into Alex's sapphire blue eyes, seeing the emotion behind them. Alex wasn't even blaming her for being the worse date in existence, but rather only looked disappointed and sad. Even in the dim lighting, Alex's blue eyes were incredibly bright and expressive. "I have an idea," Alex smiled subtly.

"Okay," Olivia murmured slowly, "Does it involve throwing me off of a bridge for bailing on you?"

"Close, but no," Alex replied teasingly, "I...umm...I think that I completely misread what it is that you needed tonight. I was just so anxious to help take your mind off of things, that I neglected to think about what would really help you feel better. Now I know that what you really need is a nice long massage and a glass of wine. So how about you come over after you and Elliot take care of whatever it is that you have to do. We'll forgo the entrée and skip right to desert."

"Alex," Olivia breathed, "That's incredibly sweet of you, but it'll be really late by the time we make it back. And by really late, I mean early morning…Four? Five?"

"I know," Alex nodded, "And I don't care. I want to see you." Olivia jumped as the passenger window of the taxi slid down and the cabbie called out.

"You getting in?" he asked leaning over in the passenger seat.

"Yeah," Olivia choked out over her shoulder, "Just a minute." Olivia turned back around just in time to feel Alex prying open her hand, palm upwards, before slipping something into it. Softly, she squeezed Olivia's hand, causing the fingers to curl around what was inside. Olivia could feel the minuscule weight of what she could only discern as a cold metal in her palm. As Olivia opened it again, she looked down to the small key sitting in the middle of her palm, and then back up at Alex with questioning eyes.

"Come…" Alex pleaded softly, "I'm serious, Liv. I don't care what time it is."

"Okay," Olivia smiled, stepping forwards. Quickly, she pulled Alex in for a passionate kiss, her tongue slipping into Alex's mouth. Breathlessly, Olivia pulled away warmth in her eyes. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Oh you will," Alex replied playfully as she watched Olivia slide into the backseat. With a gentle smile, she shut the door and watched as the cab sped off into the night.

* * *

Hours later, Alex found herself tossing and turning on her rather hard mattress. After all, one thing that Alex Cabot did not do well is sleep. She always found it an incredible struggle to turn off her racing thoughts. She let out a groan as she turned over, checking the clock for the dozenth time in the last 20 minutes. Why is it that time seems to pass more slowly when you're most anxious for it to speed up?

Alex pushed herself up on her elbows in bed, and then straightened up the rest of the way. Her eyes stared off into the shadows of the room. The room was dark, but the rather full moon and the abundance of city lights, lit the room pretty well on their own. Alex took a moment to run her fingers through tangled strands. Her hair had become tousled from all the tossing and turning. Finally, she reached over to her bedside table, slipping thin black frames over her eyes.

She was starting to worry. Even she was staring to feel as if it was getting late. Reaching out again, Alex's fingers brushed over her iphone. She unlocked the display and let out another sigh when it told her she had no missed calls.

Alex was tempted to dial Olivia's number, but tried to resist. She was afraid of appearing clingy, and had no intention of scaring Olivia off this early in the relationship. Slowly Alex climbed out of bed, and padded through the room, and down the hall to the kitchen. She was pouring herself some tea when the sound of the door opening had her anxiously heading for the door.

"Liv?" Alex's soft voice inquired through the darkness. Alex watched as Olivia tip-toed inside. "Liv? Is that you?" Alex nearly laughed as Olivia jumped, throwing her good arm out against the wall to keep from falling.

"Jeez, Alex" Olivia whined, although it was barely above a whisper, "You trying to scare me to death?"

"I didn't think you scared that easily," Alex teased, helping Olivia out of her coat.

"Yeah? Well I wasn't really expecting any surprises. I was sure you'd be asleep by now," Olivia said as she turned and stole a soft kiss from Alex, her body brushing against the blonde as her hand snaked around the blonde's thin waist, pulling her even closer.

"Well," Alex explained, brushing her nose against Olivia's softly "I was in bed, but I kind of gave up on sleeping." Alex found herself confessing, "I was worried about you. I didn't expect it to take so long."

"Sorry," Olivia apologized again. "Elliot insisted on dropping me off at the apartment. By the time I hailed another cab, it was already 3:30." Olivia looked uneasy.

"Hey," Alex smiled, "it's okay."

"Still, I'm sorry for keeping you awake," Olivia sighed, "The truth is, I almost didn't come."

"Well," Alex spoke honestly pulling Olivia in for another kiss, "I'm glad you did." Alex savored the taste that was uniquely Olivia and counted her lucky stars. Despite all of the obstacles the night brought, they still found their way back to one another.

"Me too," Olivia's breath tickled Alex's ear as she pulled her in for an embrace. They pulled away slowly. Olivia turned her head as she heard a faint whistling from the kitchen. "What's that noise?"

"Oh," Alex jumped, "I was in the middle of making tea. You want some?"

"I'd love some," Olivia replied. Alex threaded their fingers together and softly pulled Olivia towards the kitchen.

"You ever get anything to eat?" Alex asked as they entered the kitchen.

"I'm fine," Olivia assured her, "Elliot and I grabbed a little something on the way." Alex moved brusquely over to the oven and pulled the tea kettle off the burner.

"Define something," Alex challenged, as she turned around to face Olivia once more. Alex wasn't sure that she and Olivia saw eye to eye when it came to healthy meals.

"Uhh…." Olivia tried to lie but knew that taking so long to answer only gave her away. As if to punctuate things further, Olivia's stomach let out a ferocious growl. "Does a bag of chips count?" Olivia asked innocently. Alex's eyes flashed. Olivia's eyes flicked away, and Alex used the opportunity to open the cupboard and pull out a couple mugs. Alex let silence build for a while as she fiddled with the tea bags, the mugs, and the water. "You know," Alex breathed softly, a hint of envy in her tone, "for someone with a body as impeccable as yours, you sure have awful eating habits," Alex lectured.

"What can I say? I try," Olivia teased, only to earn another playful glare. Alex sauntered over towards Olivia, watching as Olivia's eyes locked on her own briefly, before she went on to rake her eyes slowly over Alex's form in appraisal. Olivia felt her heart began to beat faster, as Alex finally reached her and handed Olivia the mug. The touch lingered longer than it needed to out of selfish reasons.

"Lucky for you," Alex smiled mischievously, "I planned ahead."

"Alex," Olivia whined, "it's already late. Eating something now, would just mean that it will sit in my stomach while I sleep tonight. err…this morning."

"What time do you have to be in?" Alex asked anxiously, "I'm hoping that since Cragen sent you off to god only knows where this morning that he's giving you some time to sleep in."

"Elliot has to be in early," Olivia replied, "since we can only hold Douglas for twenty-four hours." Olivia paused briefly, taking a sip of tea, "However, since I'm crippled, I get to take most of the morning off. So you've got me for…. roughly five and half hours." Olivia smiled. "Oh…and I might need you to give me a ride to work."

"That's not a problem," Alex replied happily, "I'd love to take you." Her mind eagerly started coming up with ways that she could spend the next five hours with the brunette. Due to no fault of her own, they were all rather explicit. Silently she cursed herself out for her weakness of self control when it came to the detective. Damn Olivia Benson and her ability to put sexual thoughts in the mind of others, simply through having a breathtaking body.

"So…" Olivia breathed uneasily, "What's on the agenda? Sleep?" Olivia was hoping for something else other than sleep, especially with the way Alex looked at the moment.

"Uh uh. You're not getting off that easily, Liv," Alex spoke rather assertively. "You have to eat something."

Even with only one good arm, Olivia propped herself on the counter across from the stove, watching the beautiful blonde sashay around in no more than a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, and a pair of thin framed glasses. Never had Olivia seen something so unbelievably sexy in her entire life.

"Mmm," Alex hummed as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bowl filled with an assortment of luscious and juicy looking fruit. She turned and set it down on the counter next to Olivia. Absentmindedly, the blonde tucked an unruly bunch of strands behind her ear. Olivia inhaled deeply. Alex smelled incredibly sweet, like vanilla. Olivia could only think that she wanted to taste the blonde. Olivia's mouth started salivating and she wasn't sure if it were due to the fruit or the drop dead gorgeous blond standing in front of her. Olivia pulled Alex in for another kiss. The kiss grew from a soft and sensuous to a tempestuous kiss rather quickly.

Olivia moaned as Alex sucked Olivia's bottom lip into her mouth and bit down hard enough to make it sting. Yet the pleasure from the rather wild and intrusive kiss far outweighed the pain. Olivia had rarely ever seen Alex as libidinous before. But that was the art of developing their relationship. She learned something about the woman every day. Alex pulled back, and Olivia leant forwards, trying to prolong the ecstasy of the kiss. Unfortunately, air was a necessity and Alex had to pull away.

Olivia frowned as Alex walked took a step back, a look flashing through her blue eyes, which made Olivia sure that they both had the same needs and desires in mind. Slowly, she padded over to a crock-pot tucked into the corner on the other side of the counter. Alex lifted the lid, and Olivia waited anxiously to see what was inside. Olivia watched as Alex grabbed a ladle and scooped molten chocolate into a small bowl and walked back over.

"I believe I promised you some desert, detective," Alex said with a flirtatious smile as she set the bowl down on Olivia's other side. Olivia's tongue darted out to moisten her lips. Olivia glanced down at the fruit, selecting a rather heavenly looking piece of apple. Slowly she dipped it in the chocolate and lifted it, letting the excess drip off.

"Want a taste?" Olivia asked, wriggling her eyebrows playfully. Alex nodded and smiled, settling herself between Olivia's legs. Olivia watched in fascination as Alex's lips parted. Slowly, she slipped the fruit into Alex's mouth, and with great pleasure of her own watched as Alex closed her eyes, savoring the delicious contrast between the two flavors. Olivia could hardly breath as she watched Alex's eyelids flutter with the deliciousness of it all. Finally, they snapped open. Olivia swallowed in recognition of the sudden darkness of Alex's eyes. Her throat grew dry as she watched Alex's tongue dart out of her mouth, licking her lips clean. Just as suddenly, Alex's eyes locked with hers. The depth and clarity in the cobalt blue eyes left no doubt in Olivia's mind. It was clear that Alex knew exactly what the proximity and closeness of their bodies was doing to Olivia.

"Your turn," Alex commented with a seductive smile as she picked out an orange, and dipped it in chocolate. Olivia could practically taste it before it even made it's way through thin, parted lips. Olivia wrapped her tongue around Alex's finger, pulling it into her mouth with the slice of orange. She slid her tongue over the small digit, in a seductive manner. Finally, she let Alex pull it out. Olivia moaned as she bite down softly and the citrus juice leaked over her tongue, contrasting wonderfully with the chocolate in a way she hadn't thought possible. Olivia could imagine only a few things that tasted as good. They continued to feed each other small bites of the delicious fruit. With every bite, and every touch and caress, their desire grew stronger and stronger.

"Which do you like best?" Olivia asked a few minutes later as she perused what was left.

"The pear, I think," Alex replied thoughtfully, selecting a strawberry for Olivia.

"Together?" Olivia asked as she picked up a piece of pear and dipped it in the chocolate at the same time as Alex.

"Together," Alex nodded with a smile, lifting it over the bowl. "3…2…1…" At the same time they both lifted the fruit to take a bite. Olivia was spot on and the pear found its way into Alex's mouth, but Alex missed Olivia's mouth completely. Chocolate smeared over Olivia's jaw, with a shriek of surprise, and dripped down onto Olivia's shirt.

"Alex!" Olivia whined as the blonde's fingers slipped and she dropped the strawberry completely. It tumbled onto Olivia's lap. For a long moment, Olivia and Alex merely stared at one another. Olivia watched Alex pointedly chew the pear and swallow the pear with amusement and mischief evident in her eyes.

"Oops," Alex muttered in a jesting manner. Olivia suddenly realized Alex had done it on purpose.

"Was it really that difficult to get it in my mouth?" Olivia asked with a mocking smile.

"You would think it would be easy, wouldn't you?' Alex smiled mischievously, "I mean...with you having such a big mouth and all…" The resulting look on Olivia's face had Alex nearly doubling over in laughter. It only took Olivia a couple of seconds to join in. She couldn't help it. Alex was absolutely adorable.

Finally, after a moment or so, Alex straightened up slightly, "I'm sorry. It's just that I don't think I've ever seen that look before." Alex's eyes were lit up with pure unadulterated happiness. "That was the best thing ever…" Alex looked like an elated child. "I'll have to keep that look in mind. It's one of my new favorites."

"I'm glad that I amuse you so," Olivia said with mock hurt. "Don't forget though. Now you owe me another strawberry, and a new shirt." Olivia watched as Alex dipped another strawberry and guided it to her mouth. Olivia sucked it into her mouth, letting the flavor roll around her tongue. She wasn't prepared however, for Alex to initiate a kiss at the precise moment. Olivia moaned as Alex's tongue found its way in, trying to share in the delicious taste. Alex, overpowered by sharing the same sensation at once, moaned into the kiss as well. Slowly she pulled away, placing kisses to the side of Olivia's mouth as she tried to clean away the remaining chocolate. Olivia closed her eyes, trying to commit this incredible experience to memory.

She was so turned on it was starting to ache like a persistent headache, and Olivia knew it wasn't gong to go away until she did something about it. As Alex was pulling away, Olivia assertively pulled Alex back into her, kissing her just as roughly as before. Alex moaned again, wanting it just as badly. She brushed Olivia's chin gently with her thumb as her tongue navigated its way around Olivia's mouth, skillfully.

"God, you taste good," Alex panted as she finally pulled back. She saw nothing but desire in Olivia's eyes. The brunette had lost herself somewhere in the kiss. Alex smiled, stole one last kiss, and then stepped back, knowing exactly how Olivia would feel about it. It was clear Olivia was ready to continue her perusal of Alex's body elsewhere. The thought was extremely powerful, causing a fresh fire to ignite low in Alex's stomach.

Alex closed her eyes briefly, trying to calm herself. She hadn't wanted the night to be all about sex, but she just couldn't seem to help herself now that she'd had a taste Olivia. She started to clean up, as if that would lessen her blazing arousal, but it did nothing but frustrate herself and Olivia. Olivia's eyes did not leave the blonde. The detective was horny as hell, and wasn't going to sit there and do nothing about it.

"What?" Alex asked innocently as she turned around. She was acting as if she didn't know Olivia was ogling her at that very moment. This only made Olivia more frustrated. And even though Alex tried to play coy, the blush creeping up her neck gave her away.

"Nothing," Olivia mumbled, deciding to try and play along. She quickly averted her eyes. But it was too late and they both knew it.

"Uh uh, detective," Alex took a step forwards, setting a mug of steaming hot tea down next to Olivia's thigh. Olivia took a gulp of air as she took note of the darkening in Alex's eyes. "None of this coy nonsense. You and I both know that you're anything but shy." Alex's knowing smile only caused Olivia's already present blush to deepen.

"It's all your fault," Olivia growled, "You kiss me like that, and then just act like nothing happened." Her eyes flashed in frustration at how the blonde was playing her. But as Alex took a step forwards, closing the space between them once more, Olivia couldn't help but jump right back into it.

"God, Alex," Olivia whispered as the blonde's hands slid to the space on either side of Olivia's body, trapping her there. "I just can't stop thinking about you under that t-shirt." Olivia took a deep breath. "I know that I blew my chances tonight, but I wanted to rip you right out of your clothes. I wanted to kiss you until your lips tingled, touch you until your skin started burning, I wanted to taste you until you came into my mouth."

"Who said that you couldn't still have all of those things?" Alex breathed huskily.

"We won't get any sleep otherwise," Olivia breathed, although she hardly dared to do so.

"Sleep is overrated," Alex said as she leaned forwards and trailed kisses over Olivia's jaw line. Olivia gasped as Alex's tongue darted out to lick her earlobe before the blonde sucked it into her mouth. Olivia moaned as one of Alex's hands dropped from beside the brunette and the blonde started running her hand up and down Olivia's thigh. "As far as I'm concerned, I can sleep when I'm dead."

"Alex," Olivia moaned louder as the blonde pulled away. Alex's lips were redirected as Olivia's good hand found it's way into long blonde strands that felt more like silk than anything else. Alex moaned as Olivia captured the soft pliant lips with own. Olivia was nothing short of possessive. They rode the kiss for what it was, passion and need until they were both left gasping for air. Olivia could feel heat radiate from her navel all the way through her body.

"Unfortunately," Alex breathed, "I intended to do all those things to you tonight… So you're going to have to wait your turn." Olivia's eyes were nearly black with desire as Alex gently tugged Olivia off of the counter and lead her to the bedroom. Olivia looked around, shocked by the beautiful decorations, and the large bed in the middle of the room.

"Like what you see?" the husky voice had Olivia turning around. A moan escaped from her lips as she turned around to find a very naked Alex Cabot standing only a foot or two in front of her. Everything about Alex's body practically begged to be touched.

"You have no idea," Olivia replied honestly. "You were right. The only thing I needed tonight was you." Olivia said as she walked forwards. "You should know. I'm quitting my job tomorrow so I never have to miss out on another moment with you."

"Uh huh," Alex teased, "We'll see about that." Alex's hands pushed Olivia slowly backwards to the bed. The muscles under her fingers were tight, coiled. "Mmm…" Alex mumbled disapprovingly, "You're so tight."

"It's nothing," Olivia whispered, trying to kiss Alex.

"Oh but it is," Alex pouted. "I promised you a massage, didn't I?"

"Alex," Olivia whined.

"Oh, liv," Alex breathed, "You've never been very patient, have you?" Alex smiled, "I promise we'll get to the good stuff. But I want to touch you first." Olivia felt surprised as Alex gently pushed her down onto the bed, and directed her with a curt, "Stay." Olivia watched as Alex padded across the room, retrieving a tub from the top of her dresser.

When she came back, she directed Olivia back to the pillows at the head of the bed.

"Your clothes have to come off," Alex breathed huskily as she started stripping off Olivia's shirt and other effects, until she too was naked. Olivia cradled her arm to her stomach. It didn't hurt as much, since she'd taken her pain medicine a short time ago, but it still felt awkward, having to hold her arm still.

"Well, this could be tricky," Alex breathed, "You think you can lay on your stomach without hurting you shoulder?" Olivia nodded, desperate to continue. Carefully, Alex rearranged the pillows on her bed, so Olivia could lay comfortably across them. In order to make it work she had to lie slightly more on her right side than her left in an effort to avoid the pressure on her left clavicle. Olivia moaned as an impatient tongue reached out to taste her.

"Who is impatient now, counselor?" Olivia teased. Only to moan again when Alex ran her hands softly along the tight skin of Olivia's lower back, scoping out the strong muscles underneath. Olivia hardly dared to breath as Alex retracted her hands to coat them in massage oil that smelled heavily of vanilla. The anticipation of the first touch had Olivia squirming on the pillows. Olivia stilled, however, when a voice in her ear, commanded her to close her eyes and relax.

"Easy, sweetheart," Alex soothed, "I've got you." The warm breath tingled on her neck and Olivia squeezed her eyes shut.

Olivia moaned as Alex brought her hands down just behind Olivia's shoulder blades, kneading the flesh with just the right amount of pressure. She could feel the pads of Alex's thumbs delicately knead away the knots in her muscles that were the result of the demands put on her body in the last week. Alex worked slowly, making sure to pay attention to the areas Olivia needed most, her shoulders, her calves, her feet, and her thighs. Alex, being smart, left the best for last, knowing that one touch of Olivia's upper thighs would have Olivia crying out for more. Tingling warmth spread with every touch of Alex's hands, all over her body. As good as it felt, Olivia knew it wasn't just her arousal, but the feeling of being pampered by her lover. She was astounded that Alex seemed to know everywhere Olivia needed and wanted to be touched, but not only that, she knew exactly how to touch her, and what it would do to ease Olivia's stress.

"Alex," Olivia moaned sleepily as she felt the blonde straddled her back, bringing her arousal even higher. Olivia could feel…everything. The heat on her lower back as Alex touched her told her that the blonde was just as turned on as she was. Olivia tried to roll over, desperate to touch Alex, to make Alex feel as good as she felt. She was shut down however, when a mouth latched onto the skin of her upper right shoulder. "Ahh…Alex," Olivia moaned, as her fists curled in on themselves. "Please. I need to touch you."

"And I need to taste you first," Alex muttered kissing her way to the back of Olivia's neck. Olivia's back arched upwards as Olivia tried in vain to get more contact. She moaned again when the shift caused Alex's wetness to graze her lower back. Alex moaned too, her arousal growing quickly in leaps and bounds. It was getting to the point where it was uncontrollable. Reluctantly, she pushed herself upwards, allowing Olivia the freedom to turn over. Olivia opened her eyes as Alex leant forwards, eagerly taking Olivia's lips in a forceful kiss. Skin brushed skin as they moved in tandem, Alex's fingers moving down Olivia's midline slowly.

"Mmm…thank you," Olivia moaned between kisses. Quickly, her hand reached out to grasp Alex's wandering fingertips, stopping their progress.

"Don't thank me yet," Alex breathed huskily, "Because I'm not done."

"I want you," Alex moaned as Olivia's good hand released Alex's wandering one, in favor of paying attention to the underside of one of Alex's perfect breasts.

"I'm yours," Olivia panted as she stole another kiss. "God, Alex. Please…"

"Please what, detective?" Alex's eyes flashed. Olivia could only moan as Alex's fingertips stopped mere centimeters from their mark. Alex knew it would unhinge Olivia if it didn't happen soon. But she wanted to hear it from the brunette. She wanted to know how badly Olivia needed her.

"Touch me," Olivia whined. "Alex. Ahh.." Olivia pushed her hips off of the bed, trying to force Alex's fingers where she wanted them. Alex who knew what she was trying to do purposefully adjusted, causing Olivia to cry out again in frustration.

"Touch you where? Tell me what you want, sweetie," Alex said as her other hand kneaded Olivia's left breast, making it even harder for the woman to think coherently. "Tell me what you want and I just might give it to you."

"I need you to…" Olivia muttered in between kisses. "Just… Ugh…Fuck me." Olivia hardly breathed. Alex felt a rush of arousal at the words. Perhaps she was feeling unusually cruel at the moment, but she couldn't help herself when she said.

"I'm sorry, Liv," Alex breathed, trailing kisses down Olivia's neck, "What was that? I didn't hear you," Olivia cried out in frustration, her body lifting almost completely off the bed under her own will.

"Fuck me, Alex," Olivia begged desperately. She was so in need that she was almost sobbing, begging for mercy. "Just…touch me."

"I am touching you," Alex teased, "Or are you trying to say that you want me to make you come?"

"God, You're killing me," Olivia panted, "Yes. Alex, yes. Just make me come!"

Alex stole a kiss from Olivia, shoving her tongue ruthlessly into Olivia's mouth at the precise moment she shoved two fingers into the juncture of Olivia's legs. Olivia moaned into the kiss as fingertips slid straight past pink folds and into the depth beyond. The thrusts of Alex's fingertips were deep and powerful. In hardly anytime at all, Olivia was close. Alex could tell from the frequent moans and curses that escaped from Olivia's lips that the brunette was unbelievably close, perhaps within a few touches of Olivia's climax.

Reluctantly, Alex pulled herself away from Olivia's oh so delicious lips in favor of the ones below.

"No," Olivia cried out, sounding like something between a moan and a whine. "Lex, I need you."

With frenzied touches Olivia's good hand gripped for anything she could, finding a stronghold in Alex's tangled locks. Subconciously she tried to direct the blonde to where she needed her the most.

"Oh god," Olivia nearly screamed out as Alex pulled out her fingers in favor of the perfectly skilled muscle that she knew would take Olivia over the edge without delay. Alex heard Olivia groan from the depths of her soul as she perused Olivia's sex with several broad licks of her tongue. Olivia began to cry out almost continuously as Alex let the pressure build, alternating between swirling her tongue around the oh so sensitive bundle of nerves, and dipping into warmth moisture that Alex could only think must be heaven. Olivia's hips began to buck as Olivia's body took over, desperately seeking and needing to find release. Olivia's breath hitched as Alex closed her lips over the hood of Olivia's clit, sucking gently. Olivia's body felt like it was on fire.

"So close. God, so close. Fuck…Alex. Oh, baby. Oh…So close…" Alex pulled back, reinserting her fingers into what now felt like blazing fire, as her tongue continued its ministrations.

Alex watched as the muscles in Olivia's abdomen tightened, and realized only then that Olivia was the one holding herself back. Her heart broke a little in her chest. She couldn't understand Olivia's need to hold herself back from absolute and complete pleasure.

"Baby," Alex breathed, quickly moving back up Olivia's body, her fingers never stopping their surefire thrusts in and out. She took Olivia in a deep kiss. Olivia moaned, trying to hold her close. The moment was extremely intimate. Suddenly Alex understood. "Liv, you have to let go. I'm right here. You can let go." Olivia's head dropped back into the pillows, and the hand wrapped around the blonde's neck only gripped tighter.

With one last flick of Alex's thumb over Olivia's clit, Olivia screamed, cried out so loudly that for a moment Alex wasn't sure if it was out of pleasure or pain. Alex gasped at the strength of the muscles clenching around her fingertips, leaving her unable to move them for a brief moment during Olivia's release. Quickly, Alex resumed her touches trying to prolong Olivia's climax for as long as she possibly could. Alex gasped as another hit Olivia before the first had even subsided, causing Olivia to cry out again. Alex tried to extend it as long as possible, but knew that Olivia was breathing erratically enough. She was torn between throwing her lover into another, or pulling out.

"Alex," Olivia moaned, her abdominal muscles twitching. Alex slowly slowed her thrusts in order to help Olivia ride out the second orgasm until it abated. Slowly, Alex pulled out her fingers as Olivia's body stilled, although the brunette's chest was still heaving up and down. A thin sheen of sweat caused Olivia's body to shimmer in the dim light. Olivia moaned into Alex's mouth as the blonde finished with a sensual kiss. Alex looked into smoky brown eyes, and from the vacant look, she wasn't entirely sure if Olivia had come down from the clouds yet. Slowly, she watched as Olivia came back to life. An elated smile found its way onto Olivia's face as she stared into adoring blue eyes. Alex gently stroked the side of Olivia's face as she waited for Olivia to speak.

Laughter fell from parted lips as Olivia managed to choke out a single word that more than explained the feeling of euphoria that she was now in the midst of. "Wow," Olivia choked out breathlessly. Alex chuckled softly at the word that seemed to cover the whole experience.

"Yeah," Alex smiled smugly, "That about covers it."

"So amazing," Olivia breathed out, "God, I love you."

"I love you too," Alex smiled, kissing Olivia softly. "Thank you for sharing that with me." Olivia closed her eyes, letting out a deep contented sigh that caused Alex's heart to swell. Alex couldn't ask for anything more. Slowly she rolled off of Olivia and onto the mattress beside her. Olivia didn't let her get far, however, pulling Alex back into her side.

"When I can feel my legs, you're going to get it," Olivia joked while cracking an eye open. Alex found a smile slipping onto her face.

"I can't wait," Alex challenged, laying her head gently over Olivia's stomach. Together, they laid for a while, just enjoying the closeness, and the comfort of having someone they loved so close.

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_**Please...please...please review. It's really hard not to get discouraged when writing your way through a long story such as this. Ideas are always welcomed and appreciated! Thanks! I'll try to update soon!**_


	10. Take Me As I Am

_**A/N: So I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. I just finished the semester for school and things in my life have quieted down a little bit. What is sad is that I actually wrote this a long time ago but i had a hard time deciding if I was just going to publish as is or if I was going to edit. I finally re-read it through and decided to post it. It's a mixture of some intense sexual moments and other not so fluffy stuff. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the update, and I will try to post the next one sooner. I think for the next chapter I'm going to jump ahead in time a little bit. Please read and review! Let me know what your thoughts arei I'd really like to know who is still with me, and is interested in me continuing this story. Cause if people have no interest in this It would be better for me to redirect my focus to other stories that do...**_

**Title: Smoke**

**Chapter: Take Me As I Am**

**Fandom:** **_L&O: SVU_**

**_Pairing: Alex/Olivia_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended._**

**_As promised, I told you I'd warn you about chapters that contain sexual content...so yeah...this chapter is in fact rated M, and there is some sexual content. So if you don't want to read, please skip the beginning._**

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"Mmm," Alex couldn't help but moan softly as Olivia shifted, rolling onto her side. Without any pause, Olivia closed the space between them. Alex closed her eyes as warm fingers gently meandered over soft, warm, and slightly flushed skin. Slowly, the touch crept up Alex's side, sliding inward over her shoulder. Finally, fingers grazed Alex's cheek, taking with it some strands of fine blonde hair. Alex's eyes opened in anticipation of what came next, causing Olivia to drown in pools of dark blue. Olivia carefully tucked the strands behind Alex's ear. The touch was so gentle that it could have gone unnoticed save for the friction of Olivia's body rubbing ever so slightly against Alex's as the brunette completed the gesture. Sleepily, Alex's eyes blinked, closing for a long moment before they finally opened again. Alex couldn't keep a smile gracing her lips as she stared into soft, comforting, and expressive brown eyes. She mirrored Olivia's actions, slowly lifting a hand to reciprocate the caress. Another deep sated sigh escaped parted lips as Olivia kissed her way slowly across Alex's jaw line, trailing kisses towards the sensitive spot just behind her ear. Olivia could hardly breath as Alex's body arched forwards on its own, seeking to close the minute distance between them. Alex wanted the contact. She needed Olivia to touch her, to quell the burning in her body.

"What would you like me to do, baby?" Olivia's breath hummed melodically in Alex's ear, causing Alex's body to convulse in a shiver of desire and anticipation. Alex moaned as Olivia started running her palm down the milky white expanse of skin towards the swells of Alex's breasts. At the same moment, before Alex could answer, Olivia was pushing her tongue into Alex's mouth, caressing the oh so skillful silken muscle with her own. Alex shuddered again as Olivia hefted one of her breasts with her hand. This time the touch was not as gentle. Alex couldn't hold back a moan as Olivia's hand squeezed, using her palm to rub against Alex's already sensitive nipple. Olivia's fingers rolled the pert, pebbled nipple between them, causing it to become even harder and hypersensitive to every sensation. Alex couldn't help but want more. Knowing that Olivia only had one good hand, Alex brought her own hand up to massage her left breast. Alex as Olivia retracted her tongue, pulling it from Alex's mouth. Alex fought to hold her, her desire torturously strong. Alex's head dropped back into the pillow, exposing a long column of perfect unmarked flesh.

"Liv," Alex panted, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Olivia ran her tongue over slightly pink skin, nipping and sucking at it randomly. "Liv," Alex's breath hitched as she tried a second time, "Please." Olivia nipped at Alex's skin again, however, before the sting from the bite came, Olivia was already soothing it away with her swirling tongue. Olivia couldn't help herself. She just had to taste Alex. The blonde's flushed skin was a perfect mixture of sweet and salty. Sweat still glistened on Alex's skin, and fresh beads of sweat trailed down her chest as the blonde writhed on the bed. Alex gasped as, without any warning, a warm, muscular thigh pushed forcefully up into her core. A moan was falling from Olivia's lips as well, when Alex ground herself down on the taut muscle, using the friction to help satiate her own need. Olivia couldn't believe how wet Alex was for her. She helped Alex by making it easier for the blonde rock against her.

"How do you want it, baby?" Olivia murmured in Alex's ear, as the blonde rocked forwards. Alex moaned louder as Olivia pushed harder against her. Alex opened her mouth to speak, but seemed immersed in her own little world. Olivia tried to goad Alex into answering. "Fast and hard, slow and sensual, or a little bit of a mixture of both?"

"I…I don't care, Liv," Alex groaned as the brunette relaxed her toned quadriceps, leaving Alex without the firmness she needed to achieve her orgasm. The action left Alex desperate and wanting. Olivia knew Alex wouldn't be pleased, but she wanted to give Alex everything she wanted. She wanted to make Alex cum harder than she ever had before. Olivia slowly lowered herself. This time, she took a nipple into her mouth, and swirled her tongue around it, knowing that it would drive Alex wild.

"Yes you do," Olivia whispered huskily as she switched. "Come on, baby. I want to give you what you want. I want you to feel what you make me feel every time you touch me."

"Liv," Alex pleaded softly, still trying to coax Olivia back into what they were doing. Alex could feel the painful throbbing between her legs. She could feel her abdomen tighten. "Please," this time Alex was a little more forceful. Olivia seeing the look in Alex's eyes knew how desperate the blonde was being. She had waited so long already, putting Olivia's need first. Alex moaned as Olivia replaced the contact, and the opposing force, causing Alex to come to life all over again. Hungry kisses, and roaming hands came together in an effort to fulfill their deepest desires. Alex's breathing grew more ragged as they both put significant energy into their love making, yielding powerful results. Olivia was taken aback by the look in Alex's eyes as the blonde pushed and pulled, clinging tightly to her body. Friction created between two moving bodies, left them both craving more.

"Liv," Alex gasped as the delicious pressure steadily ratcheted up her desire. Olivia carefully adjusted, pulling her thigh back as she slid down Alex's body. The slick trail on her thigh, tingled in the cool air. Alex cried out loudly as Olivia trailed her tongue down her body, kissing more warm, salty skin. When she reached her goal, she continued without pause, starting with a broad lick of her tongue that left Alex crying out into the bedroom. Olivia watched as Alex took over, back arching and seeking more contact. Olivia had no intention of making the blonde wait. After few more licks, Olivia thrust her tongue between Alex's slick, swollen folds. Alex cried out louder. Olivia pulled back, blowing on Alex's prominent swollen bundle of nerves. Olivia stopped, barely long enough to take a full breath before she pulled the sensitive bundle of nerves into her mouth. Olivia hungrily ravaged the nerve, sucking on it and flicking it with her tongue. Alex cried out, loud deafening cries. Olivia had no intention of trying to silence the blonde. Olivia eased her ministrations as Alex came. Hard. Walls clenched around her fingers. Olivia tried to bring Alex down, while allowing the blonde to get every bit of pleasure she could. In seconds, it was over. Olivia selfishly lapped up residual juices, wanting to taste the blonde. Alex moaned, flinching as her body continued to respond vigorously to the stimuli. Olivia frowned as Alex tried to pull away, feeling as if it were too much. Slowly, she crawled up the bed, nursing her shoulder. She wasn't about to admit that it still hurt. Not to Alex anyways. With a hitch of her own breathing, Olivia dropped back down onto the mattress next to Alex. Softly, Olivia nuzzled her cheek against Alex's neck. She swore that she could hear the blood pulsing through her veins. She closed her eyes. Alex moaned softly, shifting on the mattress. Soft kisses to her neck had her closing her eyes, wanting to save the moment. Never had she felt so loved, so appreciated. Olivia made her feel as if she were something to be cherished. Something no man had ever been able to do.

"Liv," Alex whispered, trying to gaze into Olivia's deep brown eyes.

"Mmm?" Olivia hummed tiredly, breathing in Alex's distinctive and wonderful scent. It was the aroma of arousal, mixed with perfume and Olivia couldn't get enough of it. Olivia would have nothing of Alex's attempt at cessation of the contact.

"Liv," Alex sighed, slowly turning her head. She moaned, as she took in a deep breath of her own, appreciating Olivia in every respect. Reaching up to Olivia's temple, she manipulated Olivia enough to kiss the top of the brunette's forehead. Olivia finally got the message, pulling back slightly. "Hey," Alex breathed her heart swelling in her chest.

"Hey you," Olivia replied, kissing the blonde softly.

"That was…." Alex suddenly realized that there were no words to describe how wonderful what just happen was. Alex moaned as Olivia's hand ventured back to her body.

"I know," Olivia replied, breathing deeply. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. After all, I'm here to please."

"In that case," Olivia moaned as Alex's eyes lit up as Olivia inadvertently placed a fresh array of dirty thoughts into Alex's mind.

"So… Tell me," Olivia ordered, as she trailed a finger lazily across Alex's flushed shoulder. She swore she could feel the pounding of the woman's heart underneath. "There has to be a fantasy you've thought about…. something you want to try."

"Liv," Alex's breath hitched as a series of images flooded her mind, catapulting into a fresh state of arousal.

"There has to be one you've had about me, just one…"

"Just one? You're kidding right? I've had dreams about you for years," Alex suddenly lifted her hand to her mouth and bit down as a blush of scarlet painted across her beautiful features. "Crap…I didn't intend to say that out loud."

"So you've had dreams about me too then," Olivia purred softly. "Hmm… Are you sure I can't get you to tell me what they are?"

"No," Alex replied breathlessly, "You'll think they're stupid. I…I can't," Alex stuttered as she tore her eyes away.

"Don't you trust me?" Olivia spoke sadly, brushing some of the blonde's silky strands out of her eyes. She looked the liberty of pulling back slightly so that she could look in Alex's eyes.

"Of course I trust you," Alex answered barely a heartbeat later, "It has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it?" Olivia asked. Alex just shook her head, avoiding Olivia's chocolate brown eyes, which could almost always melt her inside.

Suddenly Olivia remembered. "Hey," Olivia whispered, brushing Alex's cheek, "Come on. Look, I know that this is all very new and we're just starting out, but I don't want you to feel like you have to keep anything from me." Olivia sighed.

"Honestly, Liv, have you ever even done this before?" Alex finally asked, pushing herself up on her elbow as she ran her fingers gently, over Olivia's arm.

"Done what before, Alex?" Olivia replied as a considerable amount of heat worked its way over her chest and up her neck. Her body began to tremble slightly under Alex's touch.

"You know what I mean, Liv," Alex said finally. "I mean…have you ever even been with a woman?" Alex hardly dared to breath, while looking in Olivia's expressive eyes. "Because it seems like you…" She wasn't prepared to see the degree of hurt on Olivia's features, the flushed embarrassment, and more than anything, the humiliation. She immediately realized she had said the completely wrong thing. Olivia swallowed, gulped, and looked away, no doubt feeling extremely uncomfortable. Before Olivia knew it, her body was struggling between fight or fight mode. Alex hardly had any time to react before Olivia was pushing herself out of bed and was stumbling around the room, searching frantically for her clothes. Alex reacted a split second later, jumping out of bed. Quickly she latched onto Olivia's arm.

"Wait. Don't," Alex begged, "Please don't run, Liv. That isn't how I meat for it to come out. I…I'm sorry."

"No…you're right," Olivia spat out as she fished for her shirt, hooking a finger beneath the collar. "I mean…was it that obvious?" Alex squeezed her eyes shut. These were the moments that she wished she could take things back.

"Of course, what could I possibly know about pleasing a woman?" Olivia's hollow laugh had Alex wincing. The blonde suddenly had the urge to smack herself.

"Liv," Alex breathed, trying to slow her lover. "Wait. Please. That's…that's not what I meant."

"No? But isn't it?" Olivia replied. "I mean, seriously, Alex. Was it really that awful? Am I so damned awful to be with?" Olivia tried to hold back the tears from her eyes as she struggled to loosen Alex's grip. "If you hated it so much all you had to do was to tell me." Alex was rather shocked at the degree of insecurity Olivia seemed to be displaying. Olivia pulled her shirt over her head. She wanted to cry out at the white-hot pain in her shoulder as she did so, but refrained.

"Liv," Alex was becoming increasingly desperate. She spun Liv around, framing her hands around Olivia's face, as she forced the older woman to look her in the eye. "Wait. Stop. Just listen to me for a second. You're taking everything completely out of context. You…you are everything to me. I've never felt so much as I do when I'm with you."

"What I meant was. That we just started an intimate relationship," Alex said with a small voice, "Literally, about three days ago, Liv."

"I know," Olivia replied, before taking a deep breath. "Only that's not the point. The point is… that you and I have had these feelings for a long time… " Olivia sighed, "I just feel this connection to you, and I want you to know how you make me feel."

Alex took a deep breath. "This has nothing to do with how amazing we are together. It…It was just a question," Alex sighed.

"Have you?" Olivia barely whispered, "Ever been with a woman?"

"Liv," Alex swallowed breathlessly.

"You can't ask me that question and then not answer yourself," Olivia challenged.

"Yes," Alex admitted quietly, "It happened when I was in law school. I umm…I tried to convince myself that it was a fluke, but I definitely had this attraction towards my friend. One night when we had a little too much to drink we wound up in bed together." Alex squeezed her eyes shut. "The next day we both decided that it was just that a fluke…a mistake. We went on to pretend as if none of it ever happened. She's married now. Has two kids… and I'm right back in the same place that I was then. In love with my best friend." Olivia closed her eyes as well, trying not to breath.

"Alex," Olivia whispered, pulling away. "What if this is just another mistake?"

"No," Alex shook her head. "It's not."

"How many men have you dated?" Olivia asked finally, "How many have you been intimate with?"

"Enough," Alex answered honestly, her eyes springing open to connect with Olivia's "What does it matter? Anyone who sets foot in the precinct knows about your track record of relationships."

"The point is," Olivia answered finally, "That you're no more secure in your sexuality than I am. I mean honestly, Lex. The fact is, you were engaged to be married. Tell me, just how am I supposed to think of myself as anything more than a fluke?" Olivia moved to scoop up her pants from the floor, convinced now more than ever that this was all just some big mistake.

"Stop it," Alex said angrily, forcing Olivia to look at her again. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to write off my feelings like that, just because you're just as afraid of getting hurt as I am."

"Alex," Olivia sighed wearily. "I told you that I want to make you feel like I do, and somehow, you leave me feeling completely inadequate. I can't do this. I can't have you questioning my feelings for you every time I turn around." Olivia's voice held conviction as she continued. "What does it matter if I've ever been with another woman, so long as I know that I'm sure about my feelings for you. What does it mean, besides the fact that it leaves me feeling completely out of my element, and leaves me wishing that I was better for you." Olivia shook her head. "I…I should go." Olivia rubbed at her eyes, "Gosh, I can't even remember the last time I got any sleep."

"Liv," Alex husked finally, "Wait. Don't…Please don't walk out that door." Tears seeped from Alex's eyes. Olivia turned around, her hair ruffled, and shirt wrinkled. She looked exactly as if she had been engaged in promiscuous activities. It made Alex's heart pound desperately in her chest. Alex quickly took a step forwards and then another, blocking Olivia's exit. Olivia took a look around the entryway, noticing the flowers she had sent Alex after their first night together. Paintings that Olivia could only expect cost more than her yearly salary, hung in the entryway. The wooden flooring beneath her feet was polished and refined. The dim light drew Olivia's interest. "I was out of line. You're right. It…It shouldn't matter, and it doesn't. Not to me."

"Yes it does," Olivia breathed, looking up into Alex's shimmering eyes.

"No it doesn't," Alex asserted, as she pulled Olivia closer, "Because I am so far past that place where I was before in law school. This isn't some fluke, Liv. This isn't just some schoolgirl crush. God, I… I am just so in love with you, and have been so for so long. It seems like no matter how hard I try to tell myself that this is crazy, and that I could wind up getting hurt. I can't stop. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I've fought it in every way that I know how, and I still can't stop. Liv…I just need to know that you're with me. That's all I need from you."

"You shouldn't even have to ask," Olivia replied finally. "Alex, baby, you know that I'm with you. I love you enough to want to give you everything."

"Even enough to want to fulfill one of my fantasies?" Alex finished, with a knowing look in her eyes. Olivia watched something simmer in Alex's eyes. For the first time, it seemed like Alex was enchanted by Olivia, and perhaps even consumed by her love for her. Olivia, like Alex, understood that feeling. She was scared. After all, sometimes it was the people you trust the most that you're the most frightened of telling, for fear that it will change their perception of you.

"Enough to fulfill them all," Olivia answered confidently.

"Liv, are you sure? Because we're just starting to explore our relationship sexually, and I don't want you to feel like we're moving too fast. And I certainly don't want to make you do something that you don't feel comfortable in doing."

"And yet you won't even give me the chance to decide whether it is something I want to do or not," Olivia sighed.

"You really want to know?" Alex spoke timidly.

"Yes," Olivia replied, "You should know by now, Alex, that it is my goal to fulfill all of your fantasies."

"I uh…" Olivia's heart swelled as she saw Alex trying to grapple with her own shyness. A flush appeared on her chest, neck and cheeks. Olivia brushed her hand softly along Alex's cheek. The touch was meant to be reassuring. "I...It's in my dresser drawer. I don't know why I have it. I guess that I just hoped that some day I thought that I might finally get to try it out with someone." Alex purposely omitted the fact that she had had Olivia in mind when she purchased the item. She had never felt so embarrassed as she had leaving that store. Her cheeks were flushed a deep crimson and she had tried to avoid the gaze of the checkout clerk that obviously found her attractive.

Olivia's heart started to beat faster and faster in her chest. Her palms started to sweat profusely. "Is it a…."

"Strap on," Alex finished breathlessly. "Yes."

"And who did you imagine would partake in that particular activity with you," Olivia asked nervously. "When you bought it?"

"God, Liv," Alex said, walking closer to Olivia's heated body. "Do you really have to ask that question?" Alex asked incredulously. "Because most of my fantasies only involve one person…" Olivia swallowed, feeling her heart begin to race as she waited on baited breath. Slowly, Alex moved closer, capturing Olivia's lips passionately with hers. Olivia moaned into the kiss.

"I noticed how you said that most involved only one person," Olivia panted as she tried to take control, pushing Alex harder against the wall. And just like that, they were back to letting their love consume them. "Do I have competition?"

"No." Olivia closed her eyes as Alex grabbed her wrist, leaning up to whisper in Olivia's ear. "So what do you think? Are you feeling adventurous, detective?"

Olivia felt her body start to throb all over as images of what they were about to do flashed behind her eyes.

"Okay," Olivia breathed, feeling rather excited at the idea of pushing their boundaries, "Let's try it."

"Liv," Alex was still hesitant, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Olivia smiled, kissing Alex softly. Together they walked for the bedroom, pausing at the dresser, mere steps away from where Alex held the object. Olivia's mouth grew dry as Alex pulled out the drawer and reached inside, pushing around several items before she finally pulled out the leather harness. Olivia took it from the blonde, running her fingers over the smooth, well-crafted leather. Olivia slipped into it, not sure how to work the straps. Olivia's fingers fumbled with it clumsily. She felt out of her element.

"Lex?" Olivia's breath was hardly audible, but Alex had no problem hearing it in the silence of her apartment. She whipped around.

When Alex turned around, with the silicone phallus in her hand, her jaw dropped slightly, as she took in the sight before her. The throbbing between her legs only seemed to grow with each passing breath as she thought about what they were about to do. Olivia was clumsily trying to tighten the straps with one hand, the shirt she had slipped on lazily hung from her shoulders. Olivia looked so incredibly beautiful that it took her breath away. The detective's flushed skin and fumbling hands told her that Olivia really wanted it too. It was comforting to know that the detective was that deeply invested already. The thought made Alex's heart pound in her chest. She couldn't help but think about all of the things she wanted to try with Olivia (not all of them sexual). Alex set down the phallus on the top of the dresser.

"Here," Alex hardly breathed as she stepped forwards, eager to help. Olivia's eyes closed as Alex's body encroached on the small space between them, eliminating it almost instantly. She could feel the heat diffuse between their bodies. Alex bit down on her lower lip softly as she tried to suppress a moan. She carefully removed Olivia's shirt, throwing it back to the floor where she felt it belonged. For a brief moment Alex couldn't help herself and she ran her hands softly over all of Olivia's soft, warm skin. Olivia opened her eyes as Alex ran her hands slowly over her shoulders, then inwards. Both hands and fingers raked slowly down over Olivia's chest, pausing briefly at two swollen peaks. Olivia moaned as Alex hefted her breasts and squeezed them, spurring more sensations. Olivia looked fleetingly into Alex's eyes, embarrassed that she was so easily undone. Olivia opened her eyes again as Alex moved even closer, letting out a throaty moan. She took a moment to look into Alex's eyes, offering a small nod of encouragement to the blonde before closing them again.

"Liv," Alex's voice was a low, husky alto. Olivia's eyes opened as Alex continued to slide her hands downward. Her thumbs ran briefly down Olivia's midline before she slid them outward again to slide down Olivia's side. Finally, she gripped Olivia's hips firmly. "God, you're so beautiful," Alex whispered breathlessly. Olivia opened her mouth to protest, but Alex would have nothing of it. Quickly, Alex was pushing her up against the dresser, her thigh pushing hard against Olivia's center. Olivia placed a series of butterfly kisses on Alex's lips as the blonde leant forwards. Alex couldn't help but smile against Olivia's mouth. There were no words to express how she was fleeing. Olivia was everything she could ever want and more. With several adjustments, and tugs on the leather, Alex was able to secure the leather in place. A kiss later and Alex was attaching the silicon accessory to the harness.

Olivia swallowed as Alex suddenly reached up to her shoulder.

"Have you been putting the ointment on that like the nurse told you?" Alex said placing kisses on the left side of Olivia's neck and the hollow near her shoulder. Alex pulled back, her gaze accusing. "Well… Have you?"

"It's hard to do it with only one hand. I can never get the bandage to stick because the strap of the sling just rubs against it," Olivia muttered.

"I should have known," Alex teased, stroking the side of Olivia's face. "If you ever get sick, are you going to let me take care of you?"

"Depends on the definition of such an arrangement," Olivia's eyes twinkled. "But right now? I want to take care of you…"

When they were finally ready, Alex backed Olivia up slowly. When they reached the bed, she pushed Olivia gently backwards. With some help, Olivia wriggled her way back to the pillows, where she finally allowed herself to sink into the soft mattress. Slowly, Alex crawled up from the foot of the bed, a predatory look in her eyes.

"You sure about this baby?" Alex asked as she trailed one finger up the inside of Olivia's thigh.

"Alex," Olivia breathed, "I think I want this just as much as you do." Olivia swallowed, "I'm just a little nervous…I've umm…never really used a strap on before."

"I'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough," Alex spoke reassuringly, as she hovered closely over her lover. Olivia, feeling impatient reached up for Alex's right hip at the same time Alex lowered her lips to Olivia's own. The kiss was slow, a long drawn out perusal of the warm cavern of Olivia's mouth. It was exploratory and expressive all at the same time. Alex moaned as her body sank a little ways over Olivia's middle, causing the toy to brush against Alex just below her navel. Alex slowly pulled back, looking into Olivia's deep brown eyes. Olivia moaned as Alex directed her body so that the phallus brushed her inner thigh, and then her opening. Olivia wanted to know how it would feel. Just how much would she be able to feel through the appendage? Olivia watched as Alex scooted off to the side slightly. A fresh wave of wetness coated Olivia's upper thighs as Alex took her mouth the toy, licking a small circle around the tip. Olivia moaned feeling completely turned on all over again. Slowly, Alex straddled Olivia, grabbing the shaft with her hand, to guide it to her opening. She wasn't sure how comfortable it would be, but figured this was the best position for them to try first, since Olivia didn't have a wide range of motion with her injured shoulder. Very slowly, Alex lowered herself onto the toy, first taking an inch, then another and another. She gasped as the toy filled her to the hilt. Slowly she leaned forwards, moving her hips so that the toy slid out a little ways before she pushed back into it, taking it all in again. The sensation had her moaning. Olivia's good hand flitted up to grab at her hip, but Alex pushed Olivia's hand away, wanting to set her own rhythm. She rocked backwards and forwards, undulating her hips as she did so. It felt so incredibly good. Moans slipped from her lips with each time she rocked back onto the toy.

"Fuck," Alex panted as the sensations left her starting to feel like it might be too much, "You feel so good, Liv." Olivia was enjoying herself too, of course, although she wasn't too pleased that Alex kept swatting her hand away.

"Alex," Olivia moaned as Alex rocked backwards pretty aggressively, causing the toy to press hard against her clit. "Baby, you have to let me touch you," Olivia pleaded, her hand grasping Alex's hip tightly. Finally, Alex gave in, letting Olivia hold her there. She rocked forwards, picking up the pace slightly as she ground down onto the toy. Alex hips began moving in soft circles, using the toy to stretch her inner walls deliciously. Alex was getting close. Alex gasped as Olivia's hips started pushing off of the bed, meeting the blonde's own downward thrust. "God, Liv," Alex moaned as she leant forwards. Olivia pushed her upper body slightly off the bed in order to steal a kiss from Alex. The kiss deepened, as Alex rocked harder and harder. Alex wasn't prepared for Olivia's hand to drift from her thigh. Without warning, Olivia's thumb pressed hard over the bundle of sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing small circles over it. That was Alex's undoing. Within seconds, the pleasure skyrocketed out of control. The sensations were lifting her up and higher and higher off of the ground without any promise of ever coming back down. Olivia swallowed the sounds of Alex's orgasm as the blonde climaxed. Olivia moaned as a small rush of moisture leaked from the blonde and trickled down onto her own pelvis. Alex was trying to ride the waves of pleasure as best as she could, although it was very hard to do because her mind was overwhelmed with the amount of sensations that wracked through her body. She was clearly not able to think straight in terms of processing what would benefit her the most. Luckily, Olivia helped her through it, by directing the blonde's hips forwards and backwards. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as she too was brought to the edge. It surprised the brunette how much she could feel. The phallus and harness itself were designed to rub in just the right places. With every rock of Alex's hips, the silicon rubbed against her, ratcheting up her desire. Olivia could also feel Alex's walls clench around the toy, even though it was felt indirectly. Every so often when the blonde clenched on the toy, Olivia would feel a slight tug. It told her that the blonde was truly milking every rock of her hips for pleasure.

A couple of more minutes ticked by, and Olivia found herself focusing on all of the positive ways her body responded to each of Alex's touches. It was at moments like this where she could feel absolutely everything that Olivia was in awe of the human body. Olivia tried to stay as focused as possible. Sure, she wanted to find release, but to her, pleasing Alex was more important. She was determined to give Alex the orgasm of a lifetime. Olivia seemed mesmerized by how unbelievably gorgeous Alex was as she rocked back and forth on top of her. Even after having taken the blonde several times, the whole thing felt extremely surreal. Part of her was extremely optimistic, while the other was sure that it couldn't last very long. It was only a minute of time until the blonde came to her senses and realized it was a mistake. Olivia wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it if that happened. There simply was no going back after Alex Cabot. Olivia knew she would never find someone who was half the person Alex was. Olivia was brought out of her own thoughts as Alex let out a particularly loud moan.

Finally, it was too much. Alex cried out, shuddering as her body plummeted into another mind numbing release. Olivia followed soon after. Hearing Alex chanting her name over and over was unbelievably amazing. Alex's brain couldn't process any more information at once her nerve endings all seemed to be on fire. Alex moaned, her body slumping forwards slightly. For a long moment, Olivia held her still staring at the ceiling. Alex's jaw set against itself as she reluctantly, pulled back. The inward shift had Alex letting out another moan. Alex's innerwalls clung to the toy, not wanting the separation, the dissociation from her lover. Slowly, carefully, Alex began to lift herself off of the toy, leaving the phallus left exposed to the cool air of the apartment. Breathlessly, Alex dropped next to Olivia's side. Olivia, sensing Alex was still in another place, simply wrapped her arms around the woman and held her against her body. Alex shifted, her head lying on the warm pulsating skin of Olivia's chest. Alex let out another sigh as she listened to Olivia's heartbeat.

"Mmm," was the only intelligible sound Alex could make in the back of her throat as her exhausted body drifted off into a peaceful, comfortable sleep. A smiled graced her lips as she dreamed of Olivia.

* * *

(*end of the super raunchy stuff)

In an hour or so, Olivia slid out of bed, to pick up a ringing cell phone from the nightstand. She winced as the tight leather straps started to chafe and dig into her skin, but decided to suck it up and ignore them. Alex had drifted off to sleep on top of her and Olivia hadn't had the heart to wake her simply so that she could remove the material. Olivia grabbed her phone and literally slipped up from underneath Alex. Quietly, she headed for the bathroom. Once she was inside she shut the door, and flipped it open.

"Benson," Olivia spoke tiredly.

"Hey Liv, It's Elliot," Elliot sounded equally exhausted. "Look, I know that you were supposed to get a chance to get some rest, but we could really use you here. Fin and I aren't having much luck with Douglas."

"And you think I'll have better luck?" Olivia inquired in a whisper.

"He asked for you by name, Liv," Elliot breathed as he ran a hand over the back of his neck. "He seems to be rather fond of you. Part of me thinks that he wants to rub it in. He obviously takes pride in playing us the way that he did."

"Of course he wants us to know that he duped us," Olivia breathed.

"Any yet, I think he's intimidated by you. He's asked about you at least twice." Elliot cleared his throat. "I just think that you might have better luck." Olivia let out a sigh. It hurt to keep her eyes open.

"Okay…. yeah. I'll be there," Olivia groaned. "Hey, are you even sure Cragen will let me talk to him?"

"He'll be fine with it," Elliot replied. Olivia swallowed, knowing that Elliot was hoping to pull a fast one over the head of their boss. Olivia sighed again.

"Fine," Olivia replied, "I'll give you this… but you owe me one." Olivia flipped her phone closed and set it on the counter, before going to work on loosening the straps. When she was finally free, she stepped out of it and set it on the counter. She turned on the shower water, taking a quick shower to work out the stiffness in her muscles, as well as clean the sweat off of her body. Within a few minutes she was slipping into a change of clothes. Olivia's eyes fell on Alex as the blonde rolled over, mumbling something in her sleep. As quietly as possible, Olivia sidled over towards Alex, planting a feather light kiss on the blonde's forehead. She had been looking forward to sharing morning coffee and a ride with the beautiful ADA, but it seemed that life always had other plans.

Without making a noise, Olivia slipped out the door, locking it behind her. She knew that Alex would be disappointed when she woke to find herself alone. She could only hope that her note and apology would lessen the disappointment.

Olivia took a cab and rummaged around in her pockets for money to cover the cab fare upon reaching the precinct. Briskly, she headed for the door, pulling her coat snugly around herself with her good arm, as the wind threatened to cut right through her.

Before heading to the interrogation room, Olivia stopped at her desk. She quickly rifled through her top drawer looking for the eye drops to help get rid of the red tinge of her eyes. She leaned back in her chair, as she administered the drops. She blinked a few times, spreading the moisture around, to ease their dryness.

"Nice outfit," Elliot spoke as she approached.

"Thanks…I think?" Olivia replied as she stood up. "Has Douglas told you anything?"

"Nope," Elliot replied, "But he hasn't asked for his lawyer either so we still have a good chance to get something out of this one." Olivia nodded.

"Alright," Olivia sighed, "Let's do this." Olivia followed Elliot to the interrogation room. She paused with her hand on the door after realizing Elliot wanted her to go in alone.

"You're not coming in?" Olivia inclined her head in confusion.

"I'll be right here," he promised. "I just want to watch for out here for a minute or two." Olivia nodded, opening the door. Elliot watched as Olivia's stature changed almost instantly as she got into her desired role. Without a pause, she walked quickly into the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She stormed in, a fury in her eyes as she looked at their old witness, who was still at the center of their investigation. With only a glance, Olivia dropped the folder onto the table.

"You're not going to wish me a good morning, detective?" Douglas spoke sarcastically.

"Is it too much to ask to get a couple hours of sleep?" Olivia whined. "Honestly. Do I have to do everything around here?"

"Ah…." Douglas swallowed and nodded. "So they called you in."

"I was told you wanted to see me," Olivia replied shortly.

"What can I say?" he replied cheekily, "I missed you." Olivia tried not to gag at the flirtatiousness in his voice. It took all of her will not to slap him hard across the face. "You look well, Olivia. How have you been?"

"You're joking, right?" Olivia snipped back.

"No," Douglas shook his head, "Is it a crime to ask an old friend how their doing?"

"Seriously," Olivia bit out, "You did not just come on to me in the middle of my interrogation."

"Ah, so is that what this is?" Douglas replied, completely unbothered by the hostility in her voice.

"Always the joker, aren't you," Olivia replied calmly, "Boy I'd like to be there the day that the judge wipes that smile right off of your face. Actually, with some luck I might very well be there." Douglas stared back at her with a calm look in his eyes. "So are you ready to continue, or would you like to talk more about sunshine and rainbows?" Olivia asked. "Or perhaps the weather?"

"You always were my favorite," Douglas' eyes twinkled. "You were always the one to get straight to the point, while still remaining sympathetic." Douglas gave her a once over. "So are you going to tell me what happened to your shoulder?"

"No," Olivia choked out, swallowing over the lump in her throat.

"It looks like it hurt," Douglas replied as his eyes raked over it.

"Shut up," Olivia hissed, coldly. "I didn't come here to waste my time, Douglas."

"Aww, come on," Douglas goaded, "you're really not going to tell me?"

"I got in a fight with a heavy falling object and lost," Olivia replied simply, "Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

"Yes. Very much, thank you," he nodded in acknowledgement. Olivia's jaw clenched in anger. The fact that he was as audacious, it just pissed her off.

"What the hell are you playing at Peter," Olivia bit out, her patience gone, "You really expect me to believe that you have no idea. How stupid do you really think I am? You know all about what happened to me that night, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" Douglas asked innocently.

"Don't insult me by playing dumb, Peter," Olivia hissed angrily, "We've got you on the surveillance tapes from the lobby. You were there the very same night that Nelson's apartment building went up in flames."

"So?" Peter's eyes flashed.

"So… Do you want to tell me why you were there? We have you at the crime scene," Olivia spoke evenly. "And as soon as the results come back from the lab we'll also have your DNA inside of Alexa. So…I'd recommend that you cooperate if you don't want to spend the rest of your life behind bars for rape and arson."

"I didn't do anything," Douglas replied calmly.

"No? You don't want to talk about that?" Olivia asked coldly. "Okay, let's talk about something else then…"

"Where's Brandon, Peter?" Olivia asked shortly.

"I'm sorry," Peter shifted in his chair, "Am I supposed to know the answer to that question? What am I? His keeper?"

"Judging by how close you two have been, I would say you know exactly where he is," Olivia replied.

Olivia stood up, anger boiling through her veins. She began to pace back and forth, her breathing slightly uneven.

"Did it make you feel like more of a man, Peter," Olivia hissed vehemently, "holding Alexa down so she couldn't fight back when Brandon took her on the bedroom floor? Did raping a young woman make you feel like more of a man? It didn't even matter to you that you were sloppy seconds. You were probably just happy enough to be getting any at all. But I do bet it was a bit of an eye opener when you couldn't keep it up long enough to finish the job, wasn't it?"

In the blink of an eye it happened so fast. Peter was out of his chair and Olivia was thrown backwards as Douglas shoved her up against the two-way mirror. She winced as he shoved his forearm against her, holding her there.

"You really should be more careful, Detective," Douglas whispered in her ear as she reacted, "Being presumptuous like that can get you into a lot of trouble." Olivia growled as she fought against him. She didn't get far before he was whispering into her ear "You, more than anyone, should know that you can play with fire only so many times before you eventually get burned. Next time you may not be so lucky." Olivia's eyes widened as she realized the implications of those words. She fought back, thrusting her head forwards; she connected with Peter's nose. The sudden pain distracted Peter enough for her to fight back. Before she could get more than a punch or two off. Elliot was yanking him away from her, taking care to shove him headfirst into the top of the table before he brought him back to the bullpen. When he came back, Olivia was prepared for him to fuss over her.

"Are you okay?" Elliot rushed over to her. Huang was already checking her over for injuries.

"I'm fine," Olivia assured him. Elliot's brow furrowed at the bruise on her jawline. She was holding a cold compress to the back of her head, trying not to wince as Huang poked around.

"She's got a pretty sizable bump to the back of her head," Huang announced. "But her pupil reactivity is good. She'll be fine. My guess is that she'll have a pretty bad headache the rest of the day, but nothing incapacitating."

"Are you sure?" Elliot continued to worry.

"Positive," Olivia cut in. "Seriously, El. I think he wounded my pride a bit more than anything else. That bastard."

"I shouldn't have left you in there alone. Not when you weren't at 100 percent," Elliot looked upset.

"Hey," Olivia spoke softly. "You made the right call. I saw something when I was in there with him. He did it. And a part of me thinks that he wants us to know that as well. He beat us once, right? Lucky for us, he thinks he can do it again."

"So you think he did it?" Elliot asked calmly.

"No doubt in my mind," Olivia nodded. "Only this time, he might have made a mistake. I think that he's more afraid of that fact than anything." Elliot nodded.

"You definitely got under his skin," he smiled, "And the fact that he assaulted you and that we got it on tape means that we get to hold him for assault." Olivia looked pleased about that.

"Good," Olivia smiled, "Well, I'm going to go lay down for a little bit. I'm quite tired."

"I'll be up to check on you in a little while," Elliot replied as he righted the chair from where it had toppled over on the floor. "What?" he asked innocently, picking up on Olivia's frown.

"I'm not five years old, El," Olivia replied with a pouting expression.

"Hey," Elliot replied, "You want to argue with someone, you take it up with Huangf." Olivia looked over to their friend and colleague for a little help.

"He's right," Huang nodded. "You can never be too careful when it comes to head injuries."

Olivia nodded and stalked from the room, unhappily. Why did crap like this always happen to her? She shoved her way into the crib, shutting the door behind her. She sat down on the mattress of one of the furthest bunks from the door, her fingers massaging her temple. She would never admit that she had been rattled, just a moment ago. But there was something about the look in his eyes that made her sure it wasn't just another empty threat. After all, he had managed to outsmart them once already. Finally, after she managed to slow her thoughts with a bit of calming meditation, she laid back on the mattress, turning her head so there wasn't any pressure to the back of her head. With having had minimal sleep over the past few days, she fell asleep rather quickly. She was napping, when she woke up to a loud bang and then a few choice words. Olivia sat up slowly, seeing someone stumble around through the shadows. She straightened up when she realized the figure was much too small to be her partner.

"Alex?" Olivia asked softly. Quickly, the figure stopped.

"Liv?" Alex's meek voice came back at her through the darkness.

"You okay?" Olivia asked, scooting towards the edge of the bed.

"Yeah. Fine," Alex lied, "Just ran into one of the bunks. It's really dark in here." Olivia couldn't stop the laugh that came out of her throat.

"That would be what the lights are for, sweetheart," Olivia managed to choke out in-between laughs.

"Well aren't you just the smart one," Alex replied, flipping on the lights for emphasis. "In case you didn't realize it. I was trying to avoid flipping on the lights because I didn't want to wake you."

"Mmm," Olivia nodded innocently, "And that worked _really_ well." Olivia laughed again as Alex picked up a pillow and chucked it in her direction. Olivia dodged it easily.

"Well aren't you just a little ball of sunshine, this morning." Olivia teased, with a joyous smile.

"Can you blame me?" Alex stuck out her lip, I woke up to an empty bed this morning, when I was expecting you. Olivia walked quickly over, placing her hand on Alex's cheek.

"I know. It sucked…having to leave you all alone like that," Olivia breathed, "I plan on making it up to you. Many times over, actually."

"Mmm," Alex hummed as she pulled Olivia in for a soft kiss. "You're so good at that part."

"I have to be," Olivia replied, "Otherwise you would have realized I'm not worth the effort a long time ago."

"Oh stop it," Alex swatted Olivia's good shoulder, "You're too hard on yourself."

"Can't help it," Olivia shrugged.

"So Elliot told me that things got a little exciting this morning," Alex spoke softly.

"Yeah," Olivia nodded, "Douglas took a shot at me. I guess he has a bit of a problem with his temper…or his lack of masculinity. Take your pick."

"I may have chewed Elliot out a bit when he told me he let you go into the box alone," Alex spoke, as a flush settled in her cheeks.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't," Olivia, pleaded, forcing Alex to look her in the eye.

"I didn't," Alex lied. However, before Olivia could express her disappointment, Alex was already apologizing. "Look, I'm sorry." Alex grabbed Olivia's hand. "Can you blame me? Liv, you broke your clavicle only four days ago for goodness sake. You're supposed to be on desk duty, but somehow you keep getting roped into all of these extra things. If this is what it is going to be like for the next 6 weeks, then frankly, it sucks. It's not like I try to worry about you all the time, I just do." Olivia was starting to think that this had turned into a lecture and that Alex had no intention of stopping anytime soon. "Seriously, Liv. You cannot take on the world with a broken shoulder. Especially when you can hardly move your arm. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm fine," Olivia interjected quickly. "Lex, I completely understand. I do…but you know me. I just don't like to be the one sitting out." Olivia continued before Alex cut in. "I promise to back off a little bit though." Alex nodded. "And hey, at least we got something to hold Douglas on." Alex nodded again. "And I love you?" Olivia spoke softly with twinkling eyes.

"Oh, Liv," Alex smiled softly, "You always know just what to say."

"I try," Olivia replied candidly, pulling in Alex for another kiss.

"Mmm," Alex moaned softly as she reluctantly pulled away, her breathing heavy. "I almost forgot. Alexa is here. You were supposed to interview her?"

"Oh crap!" Olivia winced as she jostled herself slightly. "Yeah. I was. Where is she?"

"Huang let her up into the loft," Alex replied. "You sure you're up for it?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied all too quickly, "Of course."

"You sure?" Alex's eyes softened slightly with worry.

"How many more times are you going to make me tell you until you believe me?" Olivia asked.

"Just the one," Alex replied. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Olivia gave the blonde a small peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later?"

"I'm always just a phone call away," Alex husked in Olivia's ear. The words themselves and Alex's luscious tone while speaking them, made the brunette's desire for the woman next to her grow exponentially. "Hey maybe we can have dinner together tonight. At my place?"

"Sounds good," Olivia replied with a smile and a kiss to Alex's cheek. "I'll wait to hear from you."

"Can't wait," Alex whispered before she slipped out the door.

Within a couple minutes, Olivia marched up the steps and into the loft to find a young woman with deep brown wavy hair and sea green eyes bobbing her head to a song Olivia could hear faintly spilling over. She wondered if youths knew about the correlation between loud music and early deafness, or if they just didn't care that they wouldn't be able to hear things 30 years down the road. Either way, Olivia tapped the young girl on the shoulder before dropping into the chair on the other half of the coffee table. The girl jumped slightly at first, but then immediately relaxed. Olivia watched as she pulled the buds of the headphone out of her ears and then wound them around the MP3 player.

"I'm not sure if you remember me," Olivia spoke softly, "I'm Detective Benson. But you can call me Olivia."

"No…I remember you," Alexa spoke softly. "You came and talked to my mom and dad a few times." Olivia watched the girl's face scrunch up as the young woman struggled not to cry.

"Alexa…" Olivia opened her mouth to apologize, but Alexa seemed to know what she was going to say before she said it.

"Don't," Alexa shook her head. "Don't say it."

"But I am," Olivia sighed, "I'm really sorry." Olivia reached across the table and grasped Alexa's hand in hers gently, giving it a squeeze.

"It's not fair," Alexa sniffled as she wiped furiously at her blood-shot eyes.

"No," Olivia shook her head. "It's not."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Olivia asked gently.

"No," Alexa shook her head, clearly unwilling to continue.

"Alexa," Olivia sighed, "I want to help you. I want to punish the man responsible for this. More importantly, I want to protect you and your sisters, but I can't do that until you tell me what happened."

"You can't help me or my sisters," Alexa muttered cynically.

"Alexa, please," Olivia nearly whispered.

"Will you just stop it?" Alexa nearly screamed. "I don't want to talk to you. What I want is for you to leave me alone!"

"Fine," Olivia stood up, "Whatever you want." Olivia said as she started for the stairs.

"So it's really that easy?" Alexa called after her, causing Olivia to turn around, "I tell you to leave, and you just leave?"

"I have no desire to stick around when I'm not wanted," Olivia replied simply. "Some days, when I'm feeling particularly like a bitch, I like to stick around, but luckily enough for you, today isn't one of them." Olivia turned back around. "When you decide that getting justice for your mother is more important than chewing my head off when I try to help, you have my number." Olivia shook her head took the first few steps down before she heard Alexa's voice.

"Wait," Alexa's pleading tone had Olivia turning around and walking back to the chair she'd just vacated. "I'm sorry."

"Forget it," Olivia shrugged. "Look, Alexa. The sooner that you figure out that we're on the same side…the better that this is going to go for the both of us. I knew your mother and I genuinely want to get justice for her and for you and your siblings." Alexa nodded.

"I'm sorry," Alexa swallowed, "for ripping into you like that. It's just that I've been trying so hard to block it all out." Alexa shook her head. "Everything just feels like it fell apart underneath me, and now I'm just falling…" Alexa squeezed her eyes shut.

"It'll get better," Olivia assured her, squeezing the young woman's hand once more. "I know…I know that it feels like everything is falling apart, like there's no hope. But maybe…maybe in a few years, the pain will ease a little bit."

"She died thinking that I hate her," Alexa breathed finally, tears building in her eyes once more. "I mean…how sick is that?"

"Alexa," Olivia spoke softly, "I'm sure she knew that you loved her."

"But she didn't," Alexa swallowed, "I called her a bitch. I told her I hated her…"

"Oh sweetie," Olivia sighed, "Girls always get into fights with their mothers. It is bound to happen. Honestly, I can't tell you how many times my mom and I ripped into one another, but deep down, I always knew that she loved me, and well…that I loved her."

"How do we get past this?" Alexa asked Olivia, "Because I have no idea how."

"Well," Olivia swallowed, "For now, we're going to take it one day at a time. We're going to try and compile enough evidence to put whoever did this to you and your mom away. And then you and your sisters are going to help each other through this."

"Okay," Alexa took a deep breath. "I think I'm ready to give my statement."

"You sure?" Olivia asked softly as she pulled out her notepad and pen.

"Yeah," Alexa nodded. "I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you. If I can't trust you, I don't know who I can trust." Olivia nodded softly, waiting for the girl to give her account of what had happened that night. She listened attentively, for more than an hour as the girl gave a play-by-play description. Olivia frowned as she realized Alexa had been blindfolded for the attack itself and was beaten to the brink of consciousness, inhibiting her ability to name someone implicitly. Olivia took the girl's statement, and then went back to her desk, reviewing all of the evidence they had thus far as she tried to get the pieces of the puzzle to fit together.

She hadn't even realized it was late afternoon until Elliot came walking in.

"You're still here?" his brow furrowed, "Liv, go home."

"We get the DNA results back yet?" Olivia asked, completely ignoring his previous statement.

"Not yet." Elliot replied. "Liv," he locked eyes with her this time. "Seriously, go home. That's an order. From me and from Cragen."

"Alright, alright," Liv said finally, reluctantly conceding. She slyly grabbed a couple of files to take with her and flipped off her desk lamp.

Olivia headed to her apartment, all the while checking her phone for a call or a message from Alex. Olivia let out a sigh, as she debated the pros and cons of calling Alex. She figured Alex was probably working hard, and she was afraid to bother the blonde. Eventually, she decided to wait for Alex's call, as they had originally planned. Olivia sat down on her couch, flicking on a desk lamp as she prepared to pick up where she left off at the office. As minutes ticked by she fought the exhaustion. Every so often her eyes would drift closed and her head would fall back, only for her to catch herself, and her head would snap forwards. Olivia tried everything she could think of to stay awake, but it was definitely a losing battle. It physically hurt to keep her eyes open. Finally, the building exhaustion that had built up over the last week, took over and she surrendered to sleep, her head dropping back onto the back of the couch as the file fell from her lap and onto the floor.

By the time that Alex rang her an hour later she was dead to the world. Olivia's mind and body didn't even react to the phone as it buzzed on the coffee table next to the couch repeatedly. Olivia mumbled something aloud as she plummeted from one dream into another.

* * *

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